Saturday, August 6, 2011

Surviving Infidelity In Marriage - How To Deal With Seeing The Other Person

Maybe you could handle the circumstances of your spouse having an extramarital affair a lot better if it wasn't thrown in your face on a consistent basis. Every time you start to believe you are on the right track to healing and moving forward with your life a painful reminder is there to greet you. And there is no more painful reminder than seeing the person your spouse cheated with.

You know who they are. Not only do they live in your community but on occasion you've had dealings with them. Now after finding out what has been going on behind your back it seems like they are popping up everywhere and it is all you can do to stop yourself from punching their lights out.

Congratulations on refraining from any violent action whether it is towards the other person or your spouse. That's not going to do anything but bring you more grief than you are already dealing with.

The thing is you can't run away and hide whenever you see them nor should you. So what do you do?

1. Painless

You are in a world of hurt to be sure but that does not mean you have to show the other person. Yelling and screaming or giving them a look that could bend nails sends a clear message that they hurt you badly. The last thing you want is to give them the satisfaction of knowing that.

You don't have to give them a dirty look or even say something to them. If you can muster it say hello and move on without any anger or fear. By doing so you are letting this person know you are a lot stronger than they could have ever imagined.

2. Forgiveness

If you have forgiven your spouse for their betrayal then try your best to do the same for the other person. Now you don't really have to tell this person face to face that you forgive them. Just reaffirming it to yourself can help a great deal. Doing so and genuinely meaning it can calm your mind and body considerably.

It also has the abili ty to diffuse any future meet-ups between you and this individual. Not that you forgot what happened. They are not pulling the wool over your eyes. This is about reinforcing who you are as a person and accepting the fact that you and not they control the situation.


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