Wednesday, August 10, 2011

After the Divorce - Trust after Infidelity

If you've been the victim of marital infidelity and are now working through the divorce; healing infidelity can be a daunting process. As much as you think to yourself, how will I move on? There will come a time when you will be interested in dating again, therefore trust after infidelity is crucial to your long term relationship success with another partner.

Before you consider dating again, you may want to heal those residual effects of infidelity. Keep in mind that all those self- defeating voices you hear in your head while you're dealing with infidelity do serve a purpose, they indicate that you need to do some inner work as part of the divorce process. They point out what areas need attention and where you need to focus your release work efforts.

The voice whispers to us numerous lies like You're not good enough, you're unlovable, you're too old to attract a new partner, you're not attractive enough to date, you were the reason why he cheated, and so on. The main thing to consider is this, an unhappy relationship may be the excuse your ex used as the reason for the infidelity, but frankly it was more likely a problem within him/herself that he/she couldn't address. When we enter in a monogamous relationship, it's a contract, a contract that both parties agree to and most of the time it is implied or stated that it is a monogamous union. Breaking that trust causes so much emotional harm to both parties of the infidelity. The cheating spouse could face infidel ity guilt, while the one having been cheated on will now have to face betrayal issues, trust issues, and decreased self-esteem usually as a result of the infidelity. These issues will surface again and again in future relationships unless we deal with them head on and at the root € our emotional and energy bodies.

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