Friday, January 29, 2010

Are You Staying With Him For Your Children?

I stayed with my ex for way much longer than I should have, of course, I can say this that I am on the other side of things. Going through infidelity really hits hard, and I can say, it honestly does have an impact on the entire family. My daughter was young and she didn't know what was going on because I held my tears a good portion of the time, and my son was old enough to figure out what was happening because he was a teen. My ex never "yelled" but when he got mad, he would say extremely bad things to me, call me names and said things that are hard to repeat. I tried not confronting him when the kids were home because I didn't want them to hear how he was, however, there were times when HE started in on me, trying to get out of the house by getting me upset, so he got out of the house whenever he wanted. Why did I stay with him? I wanted my family intact. I shouldn't have stayed with him for that reason.....well, and I loved him too so it was hard facing the fact that he had another woman. It was much harder being a family when he honestly didn't want to be there. He wanted to be with her, and that was all he thought about. He was in and out so much that he made it hard to go out as a family. I found out it was heartbreaking for me to stay with him when he didn't want to work things out. Are you staying to keep the family together?

Friday, January 22, 2010

Looking Into The Future

Oh how wonderful it would be if I could be able to find someone who holds the same things dear that I do. Holding hands I used to think was a thing for younger people, but really, it's not. When we find our true love, holding hands is just something normal and natural. Walking away from my ex husband and seeing who he really was honestly took time. It didn't happen in a day, or even a week. I had to be able to look at my situation from the outside, which is something that I could not do while in the relationship. His infidelity and lying ways was more than I could stand. I deserve to have someone who loves me for me, and someone who respects me enough to be with only me. I am learning more about myself each and every day, and some day, my prince just might come! Never give up.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Child Support and A Teen

These days just seem to go so fast, and my daughter is maturing every day. She is now 16 and even though she's tiny and thin, she EATS so much! She is a very smart young lady, very caring and very thoughtful. Her father sends her child support every month, although it is always mid-month before we get it. He just doesn't seem to understand that it goes to pay for the things that SHE needs. It's not about me anymore, it's about her! What doesn't he understand about having a daughter? It's not about child support only, it's about spending time with her and calling her to see how she's doing. I know that the money helps, but where's his heart? Where is the man she calls "dad"? I know that he is with the other woman now, and lives with her too, but why can't he find a few precious moments to come see our daughter, or at least call her? She has her own cell phone, he knows the number. She is driving now too, but he hasn't bothered to even ask her to meet him somewhere, let alone come here to see her. I just don't get it and it really makes me sad!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I Think He Lost My House

Well, if you have been following along, you probably know that I signed over my half of the house to him because he was really bothering me, trying to get me to pay on HIS credit cards so I just gave him what he wanted. I gave him "our" house, the one that I picked out. It's been years now that we have been together and he finally told me that he was moving in with his Other Woman. He wanted me to take over the house, but he wanted like 5 thousand dollars, on top of that, for me to pay the back 2 years of taxes he owed AND the 3 thousand he was behind on the payments. I just am not able to do that, nor do I want to bail him out once AGAIN. He told me that he wanted to keep the house because he thought I was going to go back to him again, but since I didn't, he moved in with her and is no longer interested in keeping it. My grown son was going to step in and take over but being as young as he is, just starting out and all, I doubt that anything happens. I know the man who bought and financed the house for us, but my ex told him that I was the one who walked out....basically true, but he didn't bother telling him WHY nor that he cheated on me with several women and that he wasn't willing to make things work. He always makes me look bad, but at this point, I really don't care. I know the truth, he does too, but he just doesn't want to make himself look bad. All in all, I guess that house was really never meant to be "ours" because right from the moment we moved in it, he was starting up his old ways and all I had was suffering from his games and other women.
Sometimes you don't want to let go of something that truely meant something to you, but then again, there are times that you just HAVE to.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Trying To Get A Grip On Finances

Being single is totally different especially when it comes to the paychecks and paying out the bills. The word: budget, comes to mind and oh how I hate that word.
What are some of the ways that we can manage our finances when it comes to having to pay everything by ourselves?
First of all, write down what you have coming in and then write down what is coming out.....this will at least let you look to see what's going on. Secondly, find ways to minimize that cell phone bill, either by changing plans or finding a plan that lets you do what you need to without getting the overcharges. Those little charges for going over or adding something on can really make a difference in the overall picture of things!
Next, make sure you are turning off the lights when you don't need them and keep a check on electricity useage so your bill won't be sky high.
Make a grocery list of things you need and use coupons for the things that you can, because it really helps.
Watch the spending on going out to eat, specialty coffees and things like that because those things can eat up the cash fast without even knowing it.
Also, find a small coffee can or jar and start putting your spare change in it for little treats on a rainy day, or when you need something extra.
Living on a budget can be difficult, but it CAN be done.

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