Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Marriage Infidelity - Can You Ever Get Over Cheating When Married?

Marriage infidelity is one of the most severe crisis a person can face in life. The mental anguish can be overwhelming, and usually thrusts the marriage into distress.

Maybe the two of you are just plain incompatible and you should not even try to save your marriage. But before you throw it all away, let us take a more in-depth look.

Since you are reading this you are at least suspecting that there is something in your marriage worth saving. Could be that you are the cheater and did not think through the outcome at the time.

Or you could be on the receiving end of the cheating relationship, still love your spouse and are trying to figure out what it all means. If so then my advice is to strap on your seat belt real tight because this could be a pretty rough ride.

Here are some points to consider when trying to decipher marital infidelity:

1.) Are we talking about a "serial cheater"?

If the person who cheated seems to make a habit out of doing this then maybe they just are not fit to be married. Why would you want to be involved in a relationship, let alone a marriage, with this type of "flawed" individual?

2.) What was the attraction to the affair?

You may be able to discuss this with your spouse to find out what the attraction was for the marital infidelity. Was this other person just so darn good looking they could not be resisted?

Usually when a spouse cheats it is not about the other person being younger or better looking than their partner, but instead a matter of the other person providing the emotional connection that we all seek.

Finding this out could be a milestone in rebuilding your marriage if that is what you both agree to do.

3.) Are you able to "get over it"?

It is very important that if you both decide to save your marriage and move past the infidelity then you cannot let the spouse who was cheated on keep this incident in their "quiver" to be thrown out every time there is an argument.

If reconciliation is desired, the offending cheater must ask forgiveness and the spouse offended must offer forgiveness that is complete; meaning you cannot keep holding this against them.

I am not saying "forgive and forget", because I believe that can border on foolishness. But I will say that you must forgive and move forward.

That said, it will be difficult for the cheater to regain the trust of his partner in marriage. Trust can take a lifetime to gain but only an instant to lose.

Do you really want your marriage to recover from this marital infidelity?. This will not be a short, easy path.

Find the guidance you will need, whether you are the one who cheated or the spouse trying to get over it at http://www.RelationshipAdviceHelp.com. We are there to help.

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