Friday, August 19, 2011

How to Forgive Infidelity by Understanding It First

Do you find it hard to move on from the sordid affair of your partner? Do you think that forgiving is too much to ask for? Then maybe, knowing the ways on how to forgive infidelity might help you.

As the popular saying goes, "cheaters never win," many people already have a negative reaction to the thing they call cheating, or in a much deeper sense - infidelity. The case of cheating husbands or wives has always been the reason why most relationships meet its demise. On the contrary, against the spiteful, belittling eyes of the world against cheaters, they too are humans that have feelings and needs to be understood.

Have you been in that stage in your relationship that cheating or infidelity has shaken it down? The aftermath of an affair is said to be daunting, stressful and confusing, given the fact that you will have to pick up the pieces of your broken relationship and mull over whether you'll throw away the fragments or rebuild them again, one by one, like a puzzle.

Forgiving infidelity is like treating an infection with an antibiotic, you need to know what microorganism has caused it first before you give a drug; failure to do so would make one's treatment futile. In the case of relationships, knowing and understanding what infidelity is will somehow help you open up your mind to what really happened in the affair. Is the affair really that serious? Maybe your partner just wants to have someone who can satisfy in bed. Drawing the line between infidelity and mere playfulness can sometimes lead you the way to cross over the forgiveness field.

First things first, let us define what infidelity means. If it would be based on society's culture, infidelity is considered as a hidden sexual act between two people. This indicates that if your partner kisses, or shares a bed with another, then it's definitely cheating right away. However, there are some flaws to this judgmental view of the society. What if the man just wants to seek carnal pleasure from another woman without the plans of having a serious, steady relationship with her? (or vice-versa) Men are said to be polygamous in nature, and part of this is the idea that they have far more greater appetite in sex than women. So in this case, is he already cheating or not? Does the question, "how to forgive infidelity?" really figure in this instance? Identifying whether a particular incident between your man and another girl can be considered as cheating is helpful in making you understand how to forgive infidelity.

On the other hand, the dictionary provides a more precise definition of infidelity, a meaning that is somehow related to the context of having an affair. Mr. Webster gives us a simple definition of infidelity in two words - marital unfaithfulness. Take note of the term "faithfulness." In this context, infidelity is pictured as the failure of one party to stick to the vows of his or her relationship. Going back to your situation, the real question to ask is, did your partner remain faithful to you, or not?

If it is in your usual relationship code to be intimate with each other alone and nobody else with, then when your partner kisses, cuddles, and hits the sack with another, it is already considered as unfaithfulness to you. However, if the unwritten mari tal code that both of you has agreed upon denotes that either party can go intimate with somebody else (from time to time) just to fulfill a sexual need and nothing deeper than that, then perhaps the infidelity issue might be weak as an argument.

You have to always assess the situation first, before you ruthlessly drive your partner down to the cheater's pit. Knowing the nature of his act will help you find ways on how to forgive infidelity. If you are unsure about your decisions and perspective about the situation, then it's best that you and your partner talk with each other to clear things out and to define the things that need to be recognized. Yes, cheaters never win - but they also have feelings.

If you feel that the trust has gone from your relationship, you can get immediate help right now. You can quickly learn how to overcome an affair, build trust back in a relationship and survive, even though right now you probably feel like you are in a black hole with no way out.

Get instant access now and download the free 7 part course to learn exactly how to forgive infidelity if that is what you really want to strive towards.

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