Monday, August 15, 2011

Should You Stay Together When Infidelity Enters Your Marriage?

Lies and deception can crumple a relationship like nothing else. One minute you were happy and the next you catch yourself wishing that you were never born. When infidelity rocks your world and enters in your marriage, it's hard to find a foothold. You first instinct is murder, your second escape, but none of the two are practical and would have drastic consequences. Getting back to reality, you would have two choices; staying together and working it out or getting away and starting over. Whichever one, the decision would be a tough one.

Can you live with a cheater all your life? Some people can, others just get stuck in the moment making life miserable for themselves and those around them. Both you and your partner will need to sit down and take a decision. Both of you can choose to stay and both of you can choose to put an end to your relationship. The first option would require new commitments, forgiveness on your part and a promise on theirs. However, forgiveness doesn't come easy and it takes a lot of effort to stand by promises. But the call is yours. If you are unable to forgive and forget, there is no point in dragging it on. A lifetime of misery is a little too much for such a crime.

When considering a future together, think about the pain you would suffer again if your partner had another such affair. If you are confident that you are resilient and will easily fall back into life without severe repercussions then don't let anyone get in your way. Give your marriage another chance. Tackle your dilemma with determination and good spirit. Build your relationship around values that you have always believed in. Discuss your issues, have a heart to heart. After all, you are a family and you need to look out for each other, work with this premise and you would have a promising start.

Your choice would inadvertently affect your children and your future plans. Before bringing a new life into your household, think about the kind of home you would be providing them. Do not subject your children to the highs and lows of your broken relationship. A turbulent atmosphere and irresponsible behavior would not just alarm the kids but also affect their personalities and personal relationships. Your children would be happier in a broken home than in one, where their existence would me marred by abusive conduct and daily battles between parents. Arguing in front of kids changes your perception of them; it also robs them of their innocence turning their world dark and dreary. Children tend to find reasons and their first one for your failed relationship is their existence. If your relationship is going from bad to worse, then you shouldn't let it meddle with your children's life. It is time you reconsider staying together with your spouse.

When children are born out of infidelity, out of an affair, it is essential that both the parents work something out in order to minimize hurting the kids. When this happens, your partner will have to contact the other parent in order to fulfill their responsibilities towards the kids. This is something that should be done immediately and you can be involved all the way. When your partner needs to discuss matters with the other parent, insist on being present. Lay out the rules, clean and clear; no contact in your absence. The question is, can you handle being in the same room with the person your spouse was involved with? If not then there is no point in dragging your relationship just for the heck of it.

You can choose to learn from your past. Do not make the same mistakes again. Your heart might be telling you one thing and your mind screaming out another, go with your mind, because your mind looks out for you. Even if infidelity has entered in your marriage and confused you, you can still rationalize and make the right decision.

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