Thursday, August 18, 2011

How to Surviving Infidelity in Marriage

Though infidelity in marriage is viewed by many as intolerable act of betrayal, it�s still so prevalent in our society today. By far, sex outside marriage by both men and women has gone up in the last decade, and the trend will probably continue for years to come.

Surveys and infidelity statistics gathered over the years has constantly shown that both married men and women engage in extra marital affair at an alarming rate � men more than women. Most of the surveys on this topic also suggest that younger married couples are more likely to be unfaithful to their spouse than do older and more established couples � surprisingly younger married females engage in more sex outside marriage than their male counterpart.

On average, about 22% of married men and 14% of women admitted to having had sex with someone other than their spouse. This number may not seem outra geously high, and it�s not; but you have to remember that the survey is based on people who admitted to infidelity. Conventional wisdom has it that more than 50% of married men and women will have extra marital affair at least once during their marriage. It�s hard to believe but entirely true; because some people will deny having sex outside marriage even when they are caught in the act.

Surviving infidelity in any marriage is not an easy thing do. Once infidelity is discovered, the initial shock and trauma may last for days if not weeks.


After the initial shock, and the pain and agony has died down then comes discovery period. This is the period when the victim wanted to know more about the affair, and why it happened. Often the following questions are asked:

� How lon g has this been going on?

� How many times did you have sex with the other person?

� Are you in love with the other person?

� Are you over the other person?

� What is it that the other person is doing that I was not doing for you?


This is the most crucial stage in Surviving infidelity in any marriage. If after discovery period the victim did not get satisfactory answers from the offending partner the marriage may not survive. On the other hand, if the explanation was accepted, then the marriage will be on the way to slow but gradual recovery. This does not happen overnight; sometimes it may take years to completely forgive and to start building the trust back again.

Often times, couple may not have where with all to solve this problem on their own, especially when the underlying cause of the infidelity is hard topic for the couple to talk about. Seeking counseling at this time could be the best way to go, if it will provide an avenue for the couple to be open and trusting to one other.

Surviving infidelity in any marriage is not an easy thing to do, especially if the marriage was on rocky grounds before the extra marital affair began. However, if couples truly love each other, and are willing to see their marriage survive; it�s doable.

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