Thursday, August 11, 2011

Infidelity: Make up or Break up

Another word for adultery or cheating or having an fling or having an affair is Infidelity. Infidelity is the ultimate sin and dishonor to your loved one. The vulgar act of Infidelity may be a spontaneous dirty deed or one night stand that generally involves an unknown third person and your guilty spouse, and its still hurts like hell. In some relationships, Infidelity can leave many couples living under the same roof, mentally detached from each other and emotionally cut off permanently. This preempted event happened on the day you detected that your spouse was acting differently weird, saying things that weren't true, being dishonest and spinning lies. That was the day you lost all trust in your partner and things were never the same again. Inflicting pain on your partner by betrayal is one of the most difficult issues to mend, it does so much irreversible damage to your marriage that the roof of your relationship caves in, the walls crumble under the pressure and everyt hing comes down in a crashing heap. Infidelity is a real deal breaker not only could you lose your partner's trust but it is detrimental to any relationship as two things generally happen after the dust settles, divorce follows marriage and the single life takes place of a committed relationship.

What goes on after the infidelity takes place?

Three definite scenarios a relationship under goes after the aftermath.

Stage One. A spouses emotions at this stage are so intense, they spend alot of time withdrawn, alone and crying. Feeling hurt and angry, they will blame themselves for what happened. Continually over thinking their character and self worth, they'd spend hours analyzing their partners motives for the infidelity. Lacking sleep and exhausted from stress, the spouse generally experiences emotional surges like waves crashing on the sea shore, surging high and surging low, over and over again. Over time the strength of the emotional surges weaken then lessen and feelings and emotions become more bearable and life goes back to normal.

Stage Two. The innocent spouse experiences a lot less emotional trauma at this point and tries to piece together the betrayal. At this stage the spouse may confront the guilty partner and ask about the affair or withdraw completely from all contact or secretly seek from others information about the affair.

Stage Three. At this stage, the guilty partner apologizes and it is accepted by the innocent spouse. The couple decide to remain in the relationship and agree to make their marriage work out. During this last stage, the couple will attempt to make a go of the marriage and a new found friendship is formed. A binding promise is also forged, guaranteeing the success of the marriage and eventually with time all love, trust and forgiveness is restored.
< br />You may find yourself questioning your partner alot, about their comings and goings, long after the infidelity has occurred. Don't lose focus, have some faith and be strong, there is still hope for your relationship on the horizon.

Here's some information that you can use to indicate whether or not your partners is honorable and trustworthy of your love and affection.

1.Your partners heartfelt confessions and apology seem genuine and truthful.
2.Your partner insists on openly discussing the infidelity.
3.Your partner takes full responsibility of the affair.
4.Your partner shows you, love and affection.
5.Your partner is keen on committing to counseling.
6.Your partner shows deep feelings of shame and guilt for the betrayal.
7. All contact with the guilty home wrecker and your partner is totally discontinued.

If both parties agree to commit to discussions to remedy their marital problems, the relationship can progress quite significantly. Although, should your spouse not show you any love or respect that you truly deserve, or do any of the numbers list above, throw them under the bus and quit out of the relationship. Another tip is if your partner acts suspicious or shows no love or seems physically isolated and emotionally preoccupied. Don't hesitate, pull the plug on the relationship immediately. One final tip, maybe your partner has be working long hours and coming home late or making secret calls, sly texts and sneaky emails or going out alone to often. Should one or all of the tips mentioned above occur frequently, chances are your partner could be having an affair behind your back. If you discover any proof of this betrayal, dissolve the marriage. Any Marriage relationship not based on love, honesty or truth deserves to no longer exist. Long after the infidelity has occurred, pay close attention to your partner actions and intentions to make sure they are with you for the right reasons and not heading back down the same old road of Infidelity.

Determine what you want in a marriage relationship and what's best for you in the future.

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