Infidelity has been the root cause of the ruin and collapse of many happy marriages. It has not only destroyed vibrant houses but many individuals as well. Many couples never see it coming. While some hear it knocking, they open the door willingly or unconsciously not knowing who was knocking or what was on the other side. Husbands and wives should learn how to live and keep the promise pledged to each other. They must be willing to constantly struggle and persevere in love and continuously renew their desire to live in unity and affection between themselves. While we scream of infidelity, you should know that there are two types of infidelity.
Type 1: Infidelity of the heart: This is a worse danger in marriages, but it is usually given less attention. It starts of in a very gentle and quiet manner with a lack of communication between spouses. If this kind of infidelity is present in your marriage, you will feel a real attitude of coldness between you and your spouse. Your relationship with your spouse will be strained by lack of understanding. Affection or companionship will suddenly drown.
Type 2: Infidelity of the body: This is the most common known type among spouses, where one commits an extra marital affair or where one spouse breaks the promise pledged to the other. This is mostly the consequence of the prolonged absence of one spouse, probably by honest, professional reason or the premature or normal onset of old age on the part of either partner. So how do you deal with infidelity? How do you overcome it? How do you avoid it? Many people would advice that you go for therapy or marriage counseling. Yes, this is good, but while this is good you should know that it does not really pierce through he heart. It only works on your emotions, by helping you fell good about yourself or your partner and your relationship, all hiding behind a smile. There is only one logical solution and eighty percent of marriage counselors advice it. The answer is to fight.
Step 1: Fight to overcome obstacles you are faced with. Always bear in mind that all marriages have their share of frictions and problems and it is in facing these problems, we learn to draw strength from our weaknesses and conquer. For it is a cowardly and disloyal act for a person, who when faced with difficulty begins to think of desertion.
Step 2: Fight to forgive. Forgive offences, heal whatever is wounded and try to rediscover the peace of reconciliation and pardon, taking the advice of st Paul the apostle, €do not let resentment lead you into sin, the sunset must not find you still angry.€ (Eph 4: 26)
Step 3: Fight against tiredness, discouragement, misunderstanding, misinterpretati on of actions, doubts and the trials of long life.
Step 4: Fight against silence: Try to talk to your spouse, be in constant communication, not to be a spy ware, but a living and caring partner. Talk about what bothers you and what does not. You could talk of the beautiful weather or a nice song or compliment your spouse effort on something done or achieved.
Step 5: Fight against dryness. Keep your marriage alive, by installing god activities. Taking time out with each other either going to movies, the opera or even visiting old relatives. Above all kill dryness by taking time out to pray with each other and pray for your marriage.
When you are the one who have violated your partner€s trust, here are some steps to help you win it back.
Step 1: Stop asking: Do not ask or expect your partner to do for you all the things they used to do. Don€t wait to be served. Do your chores yourself. Start denying yourself some privileges you once had.
Step 2: Start giving: Consistent deposits, could push your relationships into a surplus. Find ways to make your partner€s life easier. Be ready to serve and not to be served. It could be small courtesies, thoughtful deeds or little considerations, that serve and salve.
Step 3: Faith and focus: Start believing in God and in your marriage again. Focus on the good side of your spouse and paint a picture of how you would want your marriage to be. Then give your attention to it, holding it firmly in your mind. Your belief and focus will create for you this picture and give your mind€s attention to.
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