Is Your Spouse Having an Emotional Affair?

Have you ever been tempted to check your spouse's phone for text messages, or strange phone numbers? Have you thought about checking their email to see who there are communicating with? If you have, do those temptations come from a lack of communication in your marriage?

When you said "I Do" to your spouse at your marriage ceremony, you expected there to always be a level of intimacy that they shared only with you. Not only physical, but emotional as well. Your spouse is supposed to be the only one that knows your most intimate thoughts, and you're the only one that knows theirs. So what happens when they start going outside of your marriage to find an emotional connection, the same emotional connection that they are supposed to have with you? Are they having an emotional affair?

How would the knowledge of an emotional affair make you feel? Would there be sadness, because your spouse shares intimate feelings with another person outside your marriage and not you? Would there be anger, because they spend time on another relationship, when your relationship with them it supposed to come first, but doesn't? Or maybe there would be guilt for going through your spouse's personal belongings in the first place and not trusting them, even though you had provocation?

If there is an emotional affair going on, then you probably want to know why. Why did it happen? What made your spouse go outside of your marriage to find emotional fulfillment? Was it one thing in particular, or has there been a problem for a while and you just didn't see the signs? Even if you knew the "why", what would you do?

Having an affair is wrong, whether it's a physical one or an emotional one. It is never acceptable. So where do you go from here?

The first thing you should focus on is your relationship with your spouse. Is there communication in your marriage? The answer is most likely no, but you still need to examine the question. Has the day-to-day hustle and bustle of your schedules led to less intimate conversations? When is the last time you two sat down and talked about your goals and dreams?

Along with verbal communication, there is non-verbal as well. This would be just spending time together, or leaving love notes. When's the last time the both of you took the time to go for a walk together? It's these types of communications that are needed to strengthen your marriage and get a deeper emotional connection.

Communication is the key to every relationship. If your spouse has had an emotional or physical affair, the road to getting your marriage back is communication. Analyzing how you and your spouse communicate is the first step in creating a deeper and more emotional connection and will allow you to move beyond your spouse's emotional affair.

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