Monday, August 8, 2011

How To Cope With Infidelity In A Marriage – Steps Towards Healing Again

If you're looking for information on how to cope with infidelity in a marriage it likely means that you and your spouse are facing this very challenging situation. When we hear of other couples having to deal with adultery we often wonder why they haven't separated or divorced. It's never that easy. Many couples want to save their relationship. Getting past the cheating isn't easy but it's certainly not impossible. If you want to rebuild the lost closeness that you once shared with your spouse, you can do it. There are specific steps that you two can take now that will heal the broken trust.

Honesty is essential when you're learning how to copy with infidelity in a marriage. That obviously means that the person who cheated must be honest, but it also means the other partner has to be honest too. You both need to address your feelings and what brought on the affair. The person who was cheated on will demand answers and will have many questions. It's up to the couple to work through all those issues at their own pace. Don't try and disguise what you're feeling regardless of what side of the equation you're on. If you feel like crying, pouting or leaving for a time, do that. You need to be honest with each other and with yourselves regarding what happened, how to avoid it in the future and what you're feeling regarding the affair.

Doubt is at the core of the issues couples face after an affair has been revealed. The person who had the affair has to overcome insurmountable doubt in the mind of their spouse. It's a slow process to rebuild faith in someone but with the right approach it can be accomplished. It's important that all contact with the former lover be cut off. There can't be any phone calls, texts or email messages shared between the lover and the cheating spouse. If the lover does reach out, the spouse must tell their partner immediately. They should also be willing to be available whenever their spouse needs to find them. This will help put the rest some of the worries surrounding whether the affair is still going on.

Recognizing the positives in your partner will help when you are learning how to cope with infidelity in a marriage. As trite as it sounds to say that everyone makes mistakes, it's true. Understanding that the cheating spouse made a monumental mistake is important. It's also crucial to give them the benefit of the doubt when they promise it won't happen again. Start each day with focusing on the positive in each other. Remember when you two first got together and how crazy you were about each other. Use that love to build on now and in time, you'll create an even stronger bond than you've had before.

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