How to Re-Build Your Marriage After an Extra-Marital Affair

An extra-marital affair may have its merits, including: rekindling of love, strengthening of bonds, increase of understanding and so on, but the biggest tragedy that hits a married couple is the affair, more often than not, destroys the intrinsic trust between two souls. Trust in a marriage is not built in a day.

It usually takes several years of toiling through countless stormy and sunny times for it to gain a firm ground and put the marriage on a stable platform. But all that can get completely destroyed in a matter of minutes when infidelity steps in. Not many of us have the fortitude or grace to take a case of infidelity in our strides.

But does this mean that after infidelity, a marriage has to land in the divorce court? Not really, if both the partners decide to give their marriage a second chance. They can succeed in rebuilding their marriage, if they take the affair as a wakeup call asking them to sit up and notice the various need gaps which have loosened the soil under their feet. Research tells us that many marriages actually survive and blossom too, despite one of he partners indulging in an extra-marital affair. So are there any specific codes of conduct to be followed if you want to put back your marriage on the right track again?

o Seek unconditional apology for the errant behavior.

o Once pardoned whole-heartedly, take a vow that neither of you are ever going to rake up the topic again in future. Even under severest temptations.

o Promise sincerely not to repeat such hurting behavior in future.

o Your decision to rebuild the marriage should not be based on any social or personal need or obligation like kids' future, financial security or social stigma, etc. Otherwise you are calling for wreckage again, and this time for good. You need to get back together because of love and respect for each other and nothing else matters.

Repairing a bruised ego, a hurt mind and rebuilding the lost trust is not easy. It calls for immense amount of time, endurance, patience, fortitude, love and most of all a forgiving mind.

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