Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Emotional Affair Solution - How Do You Get Over an Emotional Affair?

You just discovered your spouse has been having an affair. Often at this time, it may feel as if the world has just come crashing down on you. If you still want to stay married, then you are probably looking for an emotional affair solution, a way to get past this emotional affair and move on.

Finding out about your spouse's affair is indeed a gut-wrenching discovery, and most times is emotionally devastating. A very common reaction is one of "what do I do next?" Unfortunately, your marriage license did not come with a manual with advice on how to handle occurrences such as this. There is no chapter entitled, "Emotional Affair Solution."

You may feel like you simply want to run away; to just find a way to make the pain stop. You may have the urge to pack your bags and just get out of town. And although this is a reasonable and understandable response, it ultimately won't make the pain go away.

It is often times easier to deal with a crisis when you have a plan to go by. Indeed, the fact that you are reading this article may indicate that a plan or solution is indeed what you are searching for after your spouse's emotional affair. Here are a few steps that will get you started to getting past your spouse's infidelity:

1. Address Your Pain First Healing your marriage won't occur until you have dealt with yourself first. You need to develop a strong mental and emotional foundation. This will be necessary to deal with the onslaught of thoughts, emotions, and mental images of the affair that could overwhelm you if you are not prepared.

You have to cast aside self doubt and deal with the negative impacts that have occurred due to the affair. You will not be able to rebuild your marriage until you restore yourself first.

2. Begin Working Together Once you feel you have yourself on solid footing again, you need to begin to work on restoring your marriage together. This will involve a great deal of communication with your spouse. In the beginning, this will likely be a bit strained as a result of resentment and anger you may find yourself feeling. If you lash out, you will likely find your spouse withdraws and communication will simply break down.

You may find yourself feeling that you have doubts that he or she is truly committed to working on things and fully communicating. You may wonder if they are truly committed to the process. You may even find yourself lapsing into negative thoughts regarding the emotional affair. This is natural as you are being challenged by the newness and information pertaining to the affair.

3. Rebuild Your Marriage Once you have successfully employed the first two steps, you will eventually reach a point where you and your spouse are able to communicate without the risk of falling into a negative trap or fighting. It is at that point that you are ready to start rebuilding the foundation of your relationship.

It is at this point that you will begin restoring trust and working on transparency within your marriage. You need to basically "wipe clean" the way things have always been done before in your marriage and start anew with well-defined and clear cut rules.

The work on a marriage ultimately never stops and as you continue working and communicating with your spouse, you will ultimately find the foundation of your marriage gets stronger and stronger and ultimately discover that you found your emotional affair solution.

Finding an emotional affair solution is not an easy task. Whether you have experienced a cheating spouse or are afraid that it could occur, to restore the trust and save your marriage from divorce you need to download the 7-Part Survive an Affair course from Dr. Frank Gunzburg. Click here now for instant access:

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