Saturday, November 12, 2011

Day 20 - A Kind Wife & A Link Up!

Photo credit Tripp Flythe

About a year ago I sent my husband a list of things that I thought that he might like to see me do around the house. I asked him to put the list according to priority, from greatest to least.

Here is the exact list that I sent to him:
  • clean, ironed laundry
  • yummy meals including lunches
  • fresh, homemade bread for your sandwiches
  • keeping up with emails
  • thank you notes
  • outreach in the community
  • hospitality/ having people over
  • making sure there are cookies or something yummy for you when you get home (including tea)
  • a clean, picked up house
And, this was his exact response:

“Thanks, but I would rather have you put aside anything/everything you have to do in order to start each day with the assumption that I LOVE YOU, and therefore anything I do or say is given the benefit of the doubt that I LOVE YOU.

Get enough rest and say no to enough activities so that you have the energy to be NICE TO ME (and the kids) when I'm home.

Honestly, I appreciate the rest of it, but don't really care that much if it comes at the expense of the first two things up at the top of the list. Maybe you think that I think you're a bad wife or mom if you don't do this stuff. If so, that is wrong. I would much rather have a messy house, make my own lunches from white, store-bought bread, have no snacks, etc. etc., but have a nice, happy wife who likes me, than the other way around.

So, to sum it all up, showing me you love me has more to do with WHO you are than what you do! It’s my best friend I fell in love with and want to hang out with, not my maid!”

You see, I was so busy doing things for my husband, trying to be the perfect wife, that I was getting it all wrong. I was so tired and stressed that I was snappy, unkind, and impatient. And the only thing my dear husband wanted was a girlfriend! Am I saying that it’s wrong to do things for your husband or family? Of course not! But I am saying to think about keeping being kind as the TOP priority.

I have learned my lesson. I have stepped back in many areas in my life in order to have margin and rest, so that I am not over-stressed and my husband {mostly} has a kind, gentle, loving wife.

How about you? Do you struggle with the stress of getting everything done? Can I challenge you to put aside some things that might be good in order that you might be able to ensure that you are a kind, fun, loving wife?


Today's Challenge:

My challenge for you today is to put down the duties and be kind!

Today's Challenger:

Joy is the wife to a missionary pilot and they, along with their five kids, live in Indonesia. Joy is a proud wife, blessed mommy, Diet Coke fanatic, runner, homeschooler, reader, thinker, home-maker, lover of nature, and most of all, an undeserving recipient of amazing grace, and grateful daughter of God. Joy’s heart is to encourage women to revel in their job as mommy and wife, and to see it as good and needed work. She shares her heart and life of being a mom with readers at her site, Grace Full Mama.

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