5 Ways to Resist Temptation

The other day I got to talking to a married friend and young mother who told me that she was recently approached by an ex-boyfriend who wrote her a heart-felt letter. If that isn’t temptation wrapped in a bow and handed to her on a silver platter, I don’t know what is. But I do know that this happens more often than women are willing to admit. Social networking has opened the door to behind-the-scenes communication and easy access to temptation unlike anything we've seen before.

She isn’t the only woman who recently told me this. The next day I heard a similar story--the names were changed, but the details and the storm of emotions she felt resembled that of the other. Satan knows our weak spot and too often it’s found in matters of the heart.

The initial temptation is an external one, but the lies we start to tell ourselves are internal, and that’s why we need to protect our thoughts before they become action that we live to regret.

Desiring a closer walk with the Lord, both women have made a conscious decision to turn their back on the past and move forward. Praise God for their faithfulness!

I got to thinking about the sacrifice that they’ve made and the reward that God gives to those who diligently seek Him with a pure heart.

For before he [Enoch] was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God. And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. ~ Hebrews 11:5b-6

I think it’s important to emphasize the words in verse six, “He rewards those…” so that we don’t seek our reward from this world. Let me explain…

We often hear of people who make decisions like this but later they start to question whether that decision was the right one or not. If you give up the chance to be with a handsome, charming man, then start to notice that your husband is really getting on your nerves or isn’t quite as attractive as he once was, you might ask yourself. “What is the point? I’ve given up so much, but I’ve received nothing in return.”

The problem with that scenario—if it should happen, and I pray that it doesn’t—is that we are looking to our husbands for our reward, not our Lord. GOD is the one who graciously rewards those who diligently seek Him, not this world.

A biblical account of this is found in Genesis chapter 39 where Joseph refused the advances of Potipher’s wife. Out of respect to his master and to God, Joseph fled temptation and left. As a result of his loyalty, he was imprisoned by Potipher himself. But notice this portion of scripture:

But while Joseph was there in the prison, the LORD was with him; he showed him kindness and granted him favor in the eyes of the prison warden. So the warden put Joseph in charge of all those held in the prison, and he was made responsible for all that was done there. The warden paid no attention to anything under Joseph’s care, because the LORD was with Joseph and gave him success in whatever he did. ~ Genesis 39:20b-23, NIV

See where I’m going with this? When we look for the praise of others we aren't keen on sensing God's presence. When our eyes are closed to the spiritual world, we don’t notice His favor upon us. And finally, when we look to the world for reward, we don’t see the gracious reward that the Lord is already placing before us.

While we're all dealing with differing temptations in our life. Let's look at five ways we can resist it:

1. Recognize sin when you see it lurking. Don't toy with it.
2. Flee temptation as soon as you realize that you are being drawn away.
3. Study the Bible regularly so that you are equipped to destroy the lies with truth.
4. Pray asking God to take the temptation away, and if possible confide in friend who will lift you up in prayer and keep you accountable.
5. Keep a safe distance between you and those things or people that you view as a potential temptation. Or if you must keep them close as in the case of a working relationship, keep your communication out in the open.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

Find Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here

If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife

In participation with:

Love Worth Fighting For - And a Titus 2sday Link Up!

This is one of my favorite mini-sermons by Kirk Cameron. Because it's a recap of his "Love Worth Fighting For" event, the video is only 7 minutes long, but it's definitely got some encouraging words for marriages today! I like that he addresses the problem of a sinful heart as being the root of marital problems.




Here are a few of the quotes I pulled from it:

I know that the God who designed the universe also designed marriage.

God speaks with authority on every topic including marriage, and His advice trumps Oprahs every time!

We can struggle with trying to fix our marriage problems, but if we don't first address the problem with the human heart, all the advice is worthless. The Bible says, "The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked," and it's only God who can transform that sinful heart.

People run to Dr. Phil, Dr. Laura and Dr. Ruth about their marriage problems, but the problem isn't as much a problem of communication, or emotions or physicality, as much as it's a problem of the soul. And there's only one qualified Soul Doctor in the universe. His name is Jesus Christ, and He's the first doctor that we should go to with our marriage problems because it's all rooted in the problem of a selfish sinful heart.

Once we get a new heart with new desires through conversion, we can start applying the principles of God's Word.

In marriage we're either moving increasingly toward selfishness and demanding to have things our way which leads to separateness in our relationship or we're surrendering ourselves to the Lord, not demanding our way. But saying, "Lord may your will be done," which leads to togetherness with our spouse.

Instead of asking God to change our spouse so that we can have our marriage our way, we say, "God I'm asking you to give my spouse a new me--change me. And please use me as a vessel of healing in my relationship."

We need to attack sin with great determination and cut it off like a vipers head. And the primary way we do that is by asking God to transform the desires of our heart. And we do that at the cross.

[At the cross of repentance] We develop a love for God and our spouse that is so great that it empowers us to leave our secret sins behind and pursue this God that first loved us.

Visit: http://loveworthfightingfor.com/

Today and every Tuesday, I want to invite bloggers to link-up any blog posts that will encourage women to joyfully live out their roles as wives and keepers of their homes I'm looking for posts on marriage, parenting, housekeeping, recipes, etc.

All you have to do is enter the direct link from your post into the linky tool below!

I'd also like to ask you to link back here with the Titus 2sday code (below) so that other bloggers can join in too!

<a href="http://www.time-warp-wife.blogspot.com" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisyeECE6j9xJMCvPXcy51cx2NgW4btwcKTn3jQ_1FgQS6PbGjEgMKtqgve1B8d5afwcr0rwq6DMnyeokrCZ7AbkMDwujnW4G2b-IxOilVW1AJOdQlVU9H40w2ZDdk-J8WzWU-Ws-YlrbU/s1600/TuesdaysButton.jpg" /></a>

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

If you'd like to leave a comment, join in the conversation on facebook: Click here

Author of The Good Wife's Guide, available as an eBook or paperback.

Why Marriage is Like a GPS

Last summer my family and I took a road trip across the country to Banff, Alberta. Thankfully before leaving home my husband picked up a GPS for the van. After using it to navigate through the city of Calgary, I couldn't imagine travelling without it. It was able to direct us right from our driveway at home to the front door of our hotel without barely a hitch.

We did however have one evening that proved to be interesting. We were out searching for a Mexican restaurant, and I don't know if Michael was tired or Calgary was that confusing, but it seemed that he missed every turn we were supposed to take. The minute we missed a turn the voice on the GPS systems said, "recalculating." And recalculate it did, about a dozen times before we finally arrived at the restaurant where we discovered a "Closed" sign. It was time to get back in the van and recalculate things yet again.

This morning at church someone pointed out how marriage is like a GPS system. Most people go into marriage with their idea of what things should look like, and how life will pan out. In fact one of the most exciting things that you can do with your partner is discuss your hopes and dreams for the future. 

How many kids do you want to have? Where do you want to live? At what age do you want to retire?

These are some the of things that you program into your GPS system as you save and plan for the future. The problem--if you can even call it a problem--is that your life is constantly recalculating the paths that you take. Things rarely to never turn out exactly the way that we planned because it's impossible to see past today. All we are given is this moment, tomorrow belongs to the Lord.  Are you flexible enough to let Him lead the way?

To me being flexible is synonymous with being content. A content woman brings glory to her husband, while trusting God for their future. While a discontent woman is the equivalent of a nagging GPS. Imagine for a moment if instead of happily recalculating the journey for you, a voice came over the system complaining, nagging, and reminding you of the fact that you missed every turn. How long do you think you'd listen to it before turning the volume off or tossing it out of the window?

Recalculating only becomes a problem when we stop trusting God with our future. We have a choice--we can either enjoy the twists and the turns in the road, or we can complain that life isn't all that we hoped for.

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” ~ James 4:13-15, NIV

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

If you'd like to leave a comment, visit Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here

If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife

Check out my book, The Good Wife's Guide: Embracing Your Role as a Help Meet

In participation with:

I'm over at Roo Mag today sharing a post called, "Living a Sacrificial Life:"

In Reshaping it All, there is a chapter called, "Meekness isn't a Weakness," and in that chapter Candace and I talk about the character of Jesus Christ and His outstanding ability to bridle his anger. From this we can take an example from Jesus who went to the cross like a sheep to the slaughter.

We aren’t called to defend ourselves--we are called to defend our God and His Word. Read more...

In participation with:

The Story of Ian and Larissa

I know that I just shared a video with you the other day, and I don't normally share two in one week, in fact I rarely post two in one month. But this video is too good to let it pass by without sharing it with you!!

Seriously, wow!

Thank you to Sarah of Joy-Filled Days for sharing it with me!

This is Ian and Larissa and this is their love story...





Email Subscribers: If you have trouble viewing this video, please click through to the website.

Ian and Larissa's blog: Pray for Ian

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

If you'd like to leave a comment, visit Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here

If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife

Read my book, The Good Wife's Guide: Embracing Your Role as a Help Meet

How to Build a Long-Lasting Yoke ~ And a Titus 2sday Link Up!

When he spends eight hours
tearing down and building a fence,
it’s like I do, too...
I just love the one flesh concept!
 ~ Ree, aka The Pioneer Woman

In Mark 10 verse nine, Jesus says, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” The word "asunder" here means to divide or come between.

Certainly we understand that people shouldn’t come between a husband and wife, but do we stop to consider the gravity of the separations we cause? Any number of things can come between a husband and wife such as pride, selfishness, anger, lust, bitterness, deceit, and greed. When left to fester they further separate a man from the love of his wife.

God didn’t intend for married people to live as though they were still single, but rather that they would embrace the partnership of marriage which unites men and women as one.

And the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh.. ~ Mark 10:8, NIV

Looking again at verse nine, we see the word “joined.” The Greek word for joined is syzeugnymi, meaning “to fasten to one yoke.”

In order to harness the power of oxen, farmers have been using wooden beams, known as yokes, to pair the oxen together. Not only does it give them twice the strength that one ox would, but it’s designed to keep the pair from going their separate ways.

How does one go about building this yoke?

“The oxen are going to be completely dependent on this piece of equipment throughout their work. If it breaks, it could endanger the people with the oxen and the oxen themselves. It will be under great stress when the oxen are full grown, weighing perhaps a ton each, and are pulling with all their strength on this yoke. So it is definitely worth the trouble to make it in the best possible way.” (International Society for Cow Protection)

In the same way the yoke that we have as a couple is an essential part of keeping our family together. That warning resonates with me, as I consider the potential pain we can cause should our yoke come apart. The minute that we let anyone or anything come between us, we are weakening that bond of unity that’s ordained by God.

So how do we avoid separation, and keep the unity in tact? We work to do this in a number of ways, all of which have to do with patience, understanding, kindness, and all things pertaining to Godly love.

• Give up your pride and make the first move toward reconciliation, even if it feels like you’re always the one making peace. This doesn’t mean that you’re weak. Humility is a sign of strength.
  
  
• Put away all selfishness and consider the desires of your family. Prioritize them over a desire to please yourself.
  
  
• Control your anger. Every word that you say and every temper tantrum you have can be controlled. Choose your words and actions wisely.
  
  
• Avoid lust at all costs. Don’t put yourself in a position where you are vulnerable to men or which you may cause them to lust.
  
  
• Be willing to give up your time for family time. Of course it’s good to have both, but ensure that you keep a healthy balance, don’t let the scale tip.
  
  
• Give up the desire to be lazy. If your house is messy tidy it up before sitting on the phone with a friend. If your idea of a healthy meal is a burger and fries, then take a little extra time to shop for wholesome ingredients so that you’re taking care of the physical needs of your family.

Remember, there are times when your yoke will come under great stress. So it’s definitely worth your trouble to build it in the best possible way!

Today and every Tuesday, I want to invite bloggers to link-up any blog posts that will encourage women to joyfully live out their roles as wives and keepers of their homes I'm looking for posts on marriage, parenting, housekeeping, recipes, etc.

All you have to do is enter the direct link from your post into the linky tool below!

I'd also like to ask you to link back here with the Titus 2sday code (below) so that other bloggers can join in too!

<a href="http://www.time-warp-wife.blogspot.com" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisyeECE6j9xJMCvPXcy51cx2NgW4btwcKTn3jQ_1FgQS6PbGjEgMKtqgve1B8d5afwcr0rwq6DMnyeokrCZ7AbkMDwujnW4G2b-IxOilVW1AJOdQlVU9H40w2ZDdk-J8WzWU-Ws-YlrbU/s1600/TuesdaysButton.jpg" /></a>

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

For comments or questions, contact me at:
darlene[at]darleneschacht.net

Find Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here

Author of The Good Wife's Guide, now available in paperback.

In participation with:

Ezer Kenegdo - A Help Meet

As many of you know, the title of my book is The Good Wife's Guide: Embracing Your Role as a Help Meet. A few readers have kindly approached me to point out that the subtitle might have a typo.

"Shouldn't the word be help mate?" They ask. And as much as I like the word "mate," the answer is "no." It's actually not a typo it's a biblical term found in Genesis chapter two:

"And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." ~ Genesis 2:18, KJV

So what exactly is a help meet? She is his "ezer kenegdo."


Looking to the Hebrew text we see the word `ezer (Strong's H5828) which means, a helper or an aid and the second part of the word "meet" is 'kenegdo,' meaning suitable.

What's interesting to note is that the same word is found several times throughout the Old Testament when describing God as our helper.

Ye that fear the LORD, trust in the LORD: he [is] their help and their shield. ~ Psalm 115:11

But the incredibly interesting part about this is that in nearly every reference where this term is used, God is coming to the rescue where He protects His people and defeats the enemy. 

Reading these passages I couldn't help but wonder if my purpose in being a help meet ran deeper than merely doing the dishes and folding his socks. Could it be that my purpose is to fight alongside my husband in battle? To pray for him, to encourage him in his walk of faith and to exemplify a strong faith of my own?

Don't get me wrong, Titus 2 calls me to encourage you to be a good keeper of your home, so don't put down the Swiffer Duster just yet! But being a good keeper of the home includes watching over the affairs of your family--in other words "guarding the castle from attack."

What I'm suggesting here is that we make a conscious effort to nurture our husbands spiritually through prayer and edification.

Suit up for battle by putting on the armor of God, so that you will be equipped to not only help him, but to help your children in their time of need.

The complete armor of God is found in Ephesians chapter six (and I hope you take time to read it) but here are two of the verses that particularly stand out to me as I consider the ways in which our families come under attack.

Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. (v.16)

Our husbands, our children, and we ourselves are constantly faced with negative messages. When we are standing strong in faith, we are prepared to quench each and every one with wisdom and strength from the Lord. This is why it's so important that we stand guard over our heart and those that we love.

Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; (v.18)

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

If you'd like to leave a comment, visit Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here

If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife

Pick up your copy of The Good Wife's Guide: Embracing Your Role as a Help Meet

In participation with:

Love is a Gift - Not a Swap of Emotions - And a Titus 2sday Linkup!

My marriage is wonderful, and my husband is incredible, but let me also say that our relationship isn’t perfect—it takes work. There have been some rough patches and some days when he didn't seem all that "wonderful" to me, and I will venture to guess that he's felt the same way.

Love is like an oak tree that, when nurtured and watered, takes root. We have storms that leave us feeling confused and miserable, but we put effort into seeing them through, because both Michael and I know that with each passing season those roots are growing beyond what our senses observe.


Like most young couples, we started out eager yet unprepared. I was a young bride believing that love was give and take, and that a 50/50 partnership was ideal. As long as I was willing to meet Michael halfway on everything, we’d be just fine. But experience soon taught me that unless I was willing to give 100 percent of myself to this marriage, without expectation of return, my gift of love was little more than a swap of emotions.

Love is a gift, and if we hand over a gift with one hand open while the other is closed, the gift is lost in exchange. Marriage isn’t a barter system, and love isn’t a currency.

• It’s exercising patience when your husband’s habits are grating on every one of your nerves
• It’s kindness when your partner is grumpy
• It’s being humble enough to lose an argument when you feel that you’re right
• It’s holding your temper when he says something in anger
• It’s protecting his reputation from your own tongue
• It’s trusting in his capabilities to handle a difficult task
• It’s standing strong in difficult times
  

The question then would be, Why are we planting seeds without an expectation of return?

The answer is because we aren't planting them for the sake of our husbands or for ourselves, we plant them for the sake of our Lord who loved us before we loved Him, and who gave His life freely while we were yet sinners. Love like that doesn't carry an expectation, but it does carry a hope.

Sow your seed in the morning, and at evening let your hands not be idle, for you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both will do equally well.~ Ecclesiastes 11:6, NIV

Today and every Tuesday, I want to invite bloggers to link-up any blog posts that will encourage women to joyfully live out their roles as wives and keepers of their homes I'm looking for posts on marriage, parenting, housekeeping, recipes, etc.

All you have to do is enter the direct link from your post into the linky tool below!

I'd also like to ask you to link back here with the Titus 2sday code (below) so that other bloggers can join in too!

<a href="http://www.time-warp-wife.blogspot.com" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisyeECE6j9xJMCvPXcy51cx2NgW4btwcKTn3jQ_1FgQS6PbGjEgMKtqgve1B8d5afwcr0rwq6DMnyeokrCZ7AbkMDwujnW4G2b-IxOilVW1AJOdQlVU9H40w2ZDdk-J8WzWU-Ws-YlrbU/s1600/TuesdaysButton.jpg" /></a>

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

For comments or questions, contact me at:

darlene[at]darleneschacht.net

Find Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here

If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife

Author of The Good Wife's Guide, now available in paperback.

When We're Not Getting the Attention We Need

Drawn from my archives
Like most other women I recognize love when my husbands pays attention to me. I love it when Michael walks through the door and straight into my arms. He does that every single day of the week. I also like it when he kisses me on the cheek and tucks me in before heading off to work in the wee hours of the morning. It’s his way of expressing his love.


If you’re not getting the desired attention you need from your husband, it’s likely that you’ll search out other ways to fill that space. Some women take to shopping thinking that more “things” will bring them peace. Others spend countless hours socializing on the net, or filling their face with food, and for some the unfortunate alternative is finding another man.

Each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. ~ James 1:14-15, (NIV)

That is a strong verse, but when we consider that only 63% of American children grow up with both biological parents¹, it’s time to seek out a cure for this epidemic.

Remember the story of the Samaritan woman who came to draw water? It’s found in John chapter 4. While the disciples were out grocery shopping (yeah, they were grocery shopping—check it out), Jesus met a woman at the well, and asked her for a drink. He knew that this particular woman had a void inside her that led her to thirst for something more in her life. It moved her to return to the same proverbial well time and again hoping to fill her pain with something that would last—something that would quench her thirst, until finally He came offering an everlasting well of hope.

It’s possible that this void resulted in failed marriages time and again, since we know she had five. One can only guess, but we do know that the same Spirit of life in Christ Jesus is there for us too.

Earthly things can fill the void for a moment, maybe even a few years, but when we are quenched by the Spirit of comfort we’re satisfied from within. When one experiences a spiritual satisfaction there’s no longer a need return to the well time and again.

A bad marriage can feel like a spiritual vacuum at times, since weak relationships create that constant need to be filled. That’s a great thing when you enter into a deeper relationship with Christ. Not such a good thing when we run into the arms of another man.

We’re complicated beings, aren’t we? The simple solution is to replace our wants with His (more of you, Lord—less of me), and in doing so we enrich our marriage. Because God has ordained wives to be ministers in our home, the love of God becomes a strong foundation on which to rebuild.

It’s one thing to stick to a marriage because you feel that it’s your duty as a wife and mother, but it’s an entirely better thing when we purpose to add virtue to our lives.

Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. ~ 2 Timothy 2:22, (NIV)

A noble woman is an attractive force, ladies. I know it, you know it, and so do our husbands. Put God first in your life, seek righteousness in all that you do, and let He who offers an everlasting well of hope become your all-in all!

¹National Marriage Project at Rutgers University.


You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

If you'd like to leave a comment, visit Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here

In participation with:

The Power of Humility - And a Titus 2sday Link Up!

In humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. ~ Philippians 2:4, NIV

Humility is found in many forms such as modesty, meekness, humbleness, lowliness of mind, and submission. These are all things that go against our natural desire to excel  and be seen in this world. We are driven by a need to be right, to be in charge and to come first, and time and again, our flesh deceives us into thinking that settling for anything less is a sign of weakness.


Take a look at this quote from GotQuestions.org, it sums up why the Jews refused to accept Jesus as the Messiah:

The Jews rejected Jesus because He failed, in their eyes, to do what they expected their Messiah to do—destroy evil and all their enemies and establish an eternal kingdom with Israel as the preeminent nation in the world. The prophecies in Isaiah and Psalm 22 described a suffering Messiah who would be persecuted and killed, but they chose to focus instead on those prophecies that discussed His glorious victories, not His crucifixion. ~ Got Questions?org

They wanted a king, who would be triumphant over their enemies, but instead they saw a man who was oppressed and afflicted and brought as a lamb to the slaughter. They wanted strength, but what they found was a weak and broken man who refused to strike back.

It's amazing what people miss out on when they refuse to open their eyes. What they failed to see, is the same thing that many people fail to see today which is the incomparable power that humility holds.

Humility, submission, and lowliness of mind can only occur when the soul is triumphant over the flesh--when our desire to come first is put aside for the good of another. Or in the case of our Savior and Lord, His desire was put aside for the good of mankind.

Let's take a look at the following verses:

Therefore doth my Father love me, because I lay down my life, that I might take it again. No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This commandment have I received of my Father. ~ John 10:17-18, KJV

Do you see the power in those two verses? It's incredible! There wasn't a single moment during His life when Jesus was under the thumb of mankind. Every step that He took to the cross was a willful  and deliberate act of service to His Father.

In the same way, submission is a willful and deliberate act of service that we bring to the Lord. Our flesh wants nothing more than to be in control, to win every argument, and to put ourselves first. Those who exercise humility take up their cross daily by laying down the desire of the flesh for the good of another.

Did you notice the word I used there? Exercise. Just like athletes who are training for a race we must train ourselves to be patient, hold our tongue, give up our need to be right, and choose joy. The stronger we get the more power we have over the flesh.

Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. ~ Matthew 16:324, KJV

The next time you're told that submission is a step back for women, remember that every step that you take to the cross is a willful  and deliberate act of service God.

Today and every Tuesday, I want to invite bloggers to link-up any blog posts that will encourage women to joyfully live out their roles as wives and keepers of their homes I'm looking for posts on marriage, parenting, housekeeping, recipes, etc.

All you have to do is enter the direct link from your post into the linky tool below!

I'd also like to ask you to link back here with the Titus 2sday code (below) so that other bloggers can join in too!

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

For comments or questions, contact me at:

darlene[at]darleneschacht.net

Find Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here

If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife

The Cross at the Center of a Marriage

Looking back on those days when I was just a young woman stepping into marriage, I see this: what I said I expected and what I really expected were two different things.

What I planned on was spending the rest of my life with my best friend, what I didn't foresee was that my love for this man would bring me to the cross time and again.


There's something about the character of antiques that takes our breath away. They are unique, of precious value, and have stood the test of time. So it is with love that is preserved by a couple who care enough about their marriage to value its worth.

How do you preserve the worth of something so precious when the wear and tear of this world are bringing it down? You put the cross at the center of your marriage.

"And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me." ~ Luke 9:23, KJV

The bumps in our marriage however big or small have always been surrounded by selfish ambition and pride. But when I move pride aside to make room for patience, understanding and kindness I see two hearts molding together as one.

Philippians 2 tells us to put on the mind of Christ, which tells me that I need to start thinking like Him who humbled Himself before man.

"But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men." ~ Philippians 2:7, KJV

With that said, I'd like to add this: servant-hood isn't about washing dishes or doing someone's laundry--any dry cleaner or maid service can do that. It stems from a place in our heart where we give up our right to be "right," for the good of our marriage.

Keeping house and making good meals for our family is an extension of that love, but it isn't the root and never should be. A flower without root soon withers away, but one firmly planted has long-lasting beauty.

This Friday as we remember the crucifixion of our Lord, I challenge you to take on the heart of a servant who humbled Himself before God and man.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

If you'd like to leave a comment, visit Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here

If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife

How Can I Forgive Myself?

Dear Darlene,

I need some advice. One day I got a message from a guy I had met a few months before. I knew his wife through family and she had mentioned several times that they were filing for divorce because they couldn't stand each other anymore, so I felt justified in being his friend. If I had been any friend at all I would have been pushing him back toward his wife, telling him to fight for his marriage, and cutting contact, but I didn't. I couldn't, because I NEEDED him in a way I had never needed anyone. I needed him to validate me. I needed someone, ANYONE to want me.


Within a couple of months we were much more than best friends and I knew it. We were towing a very blurry line and it didn't take much to push us over to the wrong side. In 2009, at 19-years-old, I broke the one vow I had kept to God and to myself. I slept with a man who was not my husband, and worse than that, a man who was someone else's husband. I have never felt so much hatred toward myself than I did after that. Eventually she found out about the affair and he moved in with me. She had been considering marriage counseling, which of course I didn't know, and she was heartbroken over the betrayal she felt. She and I talked about everything because I felt I at least owed her that. I apologized profusely but I knew she wouldn't be able to forgive me just as I knew I'd never forgive myself. She still hates me, and I want her to. I can't defend a single decision I made because I KNEW it was wrong.

This past October I married that man. I wish I could say there is a happy ending because I hate a sad love story as much as the next person, but I can't. I can say that no matter how we found each other, I love him more than life itself. He is my best friend, my confidant, and a far better man today than he was the day we broke his vows. I just can't get past it. I can't let go. I feel like my decisions ruined the life of a woman who didn't deserve it and at the same time, broke me.

I hate that I disappointed God. I don't know how I let myself get that low. I know that I can never truly move forward, I will never truly be happy, until I can forgive myself but I can't because I know I don't deserve to be forgiven.

I have been finding my way back to God. I know that he never left me, I left him and I know that He has forgiven me because I have begged him for forgiveness. God's love is enfolding me. My life is changed but I am still miserable. I truly don't know what to do. How can I forgive myself for what I did? How can I forgive my husband for what he helped me do? I have said I forgive him, and I have even felt like I do, but there are always those moments when I fear that he will leave me the way he left her, and I hate myself for that but I feel like I hate him for that too. I know how awful this all sounds and I pray that you can find it in your heart not to judge me because of it, even as I judge myself.

Sincerely,

Conflicted & Unforgiven

Dear Conflicted & Unforgiven,

Thank you for your letter. I pray that my words may help in your healing process as you bring this burden to the feet of our Lord.

One line in your letter really stood out to me. It is this: "She still hates me, and I want her to. I can't defend a single decision I made because I KNEW it was wrong."

You are right and you are wrong. Here's why--what you did was very sinful and there is nothing you can say to defend that, we all know this, BUT grace and forgiveness is for sinners. If we only gave grace and forgiveness to the good people in our lives, what benefit would that be to anyone?

I know your pain. I went against everything that I believe and sinned against God and my husband. I felt sick about it, I felt useless and I felt dirty.

What I was feeling was the weight of my sin, but sin doesn't define who we are--God's grace does!

Without sin we have no need for grace. Do you know what I'm saying? Unless we can see the stain of our sin against the perfection of His immaculate grace we will never understand what a gift that grace truly is.

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God. ~ Ephesians 2:8, KJV

Look at the Bible and you'll see that God used people who were broken, sinful, and tarnished to build his kingdom.

And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. ~ Matthew 16:18

Peter is the same man who later denied Jesus Christ hours before his death. Imagine that. Jesus vowed to build his church upon the faith of this believer and this very same man did the unthinkable by denying his Lord, and his friend as He was being led to His His crucifixion.

My servant Peter was not changed in a flash from a simple fisherman to a great leader and teacher, but through the very time of faithlessness -- through the very time of denial -- I was yet making him all that he should be. Impetuous spokesman as he always was, ready to lead the other disciples, Peter could never have been the after power he was, had he not learned his weakness. No man can save, unless he understands the sinner. (God Calling April 4th)

And finally, I'm reminded of something that my dad told me months before he died. They are simple yet powerful words, "God doesn't care about what you did yesterday. He's concerned about what you'll do today."

It sounds to me like God has offered you grace and a new beginning. You're standing at a crossroad in your life where you can either hang on to the pain of your past or move forward walking in grace.

If you'd like to read more about my experience, you can find it here: Grace is for Sinners.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene Schacht



If you'd like to leave a comment, visit Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here

If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife

Husband Doesn't Want You to Go to Church? And a Titus 2sday Link up!

The other day I received a letter from a reader who wanted to know my thoughts. What if a husband doesn't want his wife to go to church on Sunday, or what if he's simply indecisive about finding a church?

It's a good question, and one that women in unequal marriages might be forced to consider. Do you go against his will and attend church, or do you stay home?


My husband is a church-going believer, but I do have some thoughts on this issue...

If a husband is lollygogging on which church to go to, a woman can take the initiative in finding a good one and invite him to come along.

However, if he forbids her to go to church on Sunday, she has two choices:

1. She could win him over with her actions of humility and obedience.

2. She can go to church on Sunday and further fuel his anger.

We are instructed in scripture to fellowship with other believers:

And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. Hebrews 10:24-25, NIV

But the time table that we have isn't necessarily the time table that God requires of us. There are always Bible studies and kids clubs during the weekdays. Even something as simple as having a few ladies over for Bible study and tea on a regular basis can be a good source of fellowship.

If we become rigid by insisting that we attend on Sundays we are missing the point of fellowship which is to sharpen and be sharpened by other believers. Let me add this, it doesn't have to be, and shouldn’t be done in secret. All I'm suggesting here is that when necessary we are willing to be flexible with our time.

If a husband forbids his wife to worship God, we are dealing with a different situation. The purpose of obeying our husbands is to illustrate the relationship between the church and Jesus Christ. It wouldn't make any sense to obey a man who asks us to turn our back against God.

Ultimately we answer to God first, all else comes second. We can glean an example of this from scripture when in Acts chapter 5, Peter and the apostles were brought before the high priest:

And when they had brought them, they set them before the council: and the high priest asked them, Saying, Did not we straitly command you that ye should not teach in this name? and, behold, ye have filled Jerusalem with your doctrine, and intend to bring this man's blood upon us. Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men. ~ Acts 5:27-29, KJV

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

If you'd like to leave a comment, visit Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here

If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife

You Have The Power

I am doing so wonderfully these days that I feel so happy that I made the decision that I did--to walk away after such a very long time of trying and unsuccessfully so. However, I look around me and I see so much of this cheating and infidelity going on all around me. I sometimes wonder why there are some of us that can get through life without having to go through infidelity and problems with a spouse cheating and then others have to have our heart stomped on as if it were nothing. I suppose that we all go through different walks in life, some harder than others, but as we age, we seem to acquire the knowledge of getting through it all. If I had known that my ex was going to hurt me so bad, I don't know if I would have walked away before the pain or not....I think that some things we must live and learn through life to make us become stronger.....and this was not what I had in mind at all. If you are going through infidelity with your partner, I know what you are going through....and I know how heavy the pain feels. I also know that YOU have the power to decide what you want in life and only YOU can make a decision that will determine your future. Everyone has the right to be happy....and life is way too short to be unhappy all the time. Many people say that married people should stick it out and work things out....and that is very true, if BOTH partners are willing to work together...but if it's all one-sided, the fight becomes harder. Take the time to think about what YOU want in life, and how YOU deserve to be treated !

Submission Pt. 2 - Readers Chime In! And a Titus 2sday Linkup!

After I posted an article on submission and the equality of men and women yesterday, we had an interesting dialogue going on in the Time-Warp Wife facebook group. As usual, the women there were full of encouragement and wisdom. (I'm always blessed by you!) I've decided to pull out some of your thought provoking comments and questions to share on the blog. Thanks, ladies!



Natalie Writes:
Being born in 1980, I had NEVER thought of biblical submission or my role in the marriage, due to the absolute absorption of the feminist movement. After reading about it, and now doing an in-depth study, I see how important it is to embrace. It is why we were created and only endears me further to my husband, when I am allowing him to be the man that he was created to be. ♥

Sarah Writes:
Interesting how in a society that advocates women's CHOICE, when a woman makes the CHOICE to submit to her husband she is condemned as a heretic! In my opinion, while the husband has the power and control the wife's role is just as hard if not harder because as a woman most of us have trouble with our tongues (I know I do!) And yet learning to hold back my comments and complaints in order to submit is very difficult!

Wonderful article, thank you for sharing!

Estella Writes:
Submission is not biblically a green light for abuse, it is an instruction regarding relationships with God as Father, Lord, Creator, etc.. first then the male, female, and children for the inner family then you add the extended family from there. Submission is not hard when it is alignment with God's instructions and laws. Submission is only hard when there is foundational disagreement or abuse. To heal relationships, we all have to seek God for His grace, mercy, peace, and love while we are instructed to forgive so that we can be forgiven. Forgiveness like submission is not a control or abuse issue but rather a benefit from healthy relationships.

Ruth Asks:
But what do u do when your hubby doesn't have a clue about how to be a husband?

Cadi Writes:
You pray for him. have you read The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian? I highly recommended reading. Of course, all we need to know, really, has been laid out for us in scripture, but this book is great for the situations and dynamics of modern day marriage.

Tammy (Kingdom Housewifes) Writes:
Agree with Cadi... prayer is powerful! When we pray for our husband's it draws us closer to God and to our spouse. I have also found that when I pray for my husband/our marriage...the Holy Spirit draws me to take inventory of myself. Sometimes, it's not easy but the end result... growing more Christ-like. :)

Torrie (Blessed Beyond Measure) Writes:
I too agree with Tammy & Cadi. The best thing you can do for your self, your husband and your marriage is pray without ceasing. I've learned recently that it's my job to follow what God asks of me through his Word. It's HIS job to change my heart and my husband's heart. Only God, through the Holy Spirit, can change a heart.

Beautiful Mommy Feet Writes:
This is an area of my life that the Lord is plaguing me and I am SO glad He is :) I never realized how much I struggle with this. I was listening to a sermon last night while waiting for the hubs to get home - random sermon selection and it was also on submission, go figure, so was Sunday School and the sermon yesterday... ha, yeah.

But Chip Ingrim was talking about the culture from when 1 Peter 3 was written (how to "win" your husband to the Lord) and it was when every culture looked down on women, forced submission, when women were owned like cattle. For a woman to trust Christ without her husband being the first to make a move was almost suicide.

God in His creation of how things work - our job is to show God our LOVE for HIM by our love for others, which is hardest and more refined in us when that love/respect has to be shown to an unloving, unwise spouse who is not fulfilling his biblical duties as a husband.

But How dare I hold my husband to those standards if I myself am not abiding by the womans role.

(BTW I married an amazing man, he's the one that married a challenge) but it has been by me seeing Christ in his life and humility in his walk that has shown me how imperfect I am.

Jenn Writes:
My marriage was healed and restored and actually made more than I could have ever imagined by trusting God at His Word and doing my part... regardless of what my husband did or didn't do. Did it seem logical or fair? No. I will say that I shudder to think of missing all of this blessing by not taken that first step in faith. I second Stormy's book. That and another book really helped me out, and showed me a different perspective! Yes, we have the Bible first and foremost but without having seen that lived out in life and being a brand new Christian, these books served as a "mentor" of sorts to me, and showed me examples in a practical way of biblical principles.

Meredith Writes:
As a pastor's wife who doesn't quite fit the stereotypical mode for our calling, I have wrestled with the issue of submission based on my rebel-tendencies alone! BUT I WILL say that when our husbands our honoring God and obeying the charge to them to love us as Christ loves the church, the submission just happens naturally and beautifully. Submission changes things, and it's not a dirty 10-letter word ;)

Tabby Asks: (from the wall at "A Simple Country Life)
Honest to goodness question; How do we submit to our husband if he is the submissive personality in our relationship? My whole life (pre-religion & now) I have had a more dominate, take-charge personality. That's a big part of what my husband was attracted to. He has a more laid-back, submissive personality. He has told me many, many times he would much rather have me tell him what to do around the house or with the cars or the kids etc. (that makes it sound like HE'S the homemaker not me, but that's not how it is) than try to do any of it on his own. He attributes a lot of it to a military career where decisions are made FOR him much more frequently than BY him. The point is, in reference to this very scriptural idea, he has told me outright he couldn't live with me being submissive to him the way he understands it (he grew up with religion, so he has a better concept than I do).

My Answer:
I think that the fact that you are respecting HIS wishes for the way that your family is run is submitting. Sounds like you're marriage is functioning well. Submission isn't about how many loads of laundry we do or the fact that he does the paper work while we do the dishes, it's more about living in harmony without having to be "right." It's about willing to take the first step to reconciliation. It's about submission of one heart to another. When we teach our children that it's more blessed to give than to receive, to love our neighbour as ourself, or to walk away from a fight, we are teaching them the art of submitting one to another--the way that it should be. That's best way to love!

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

If you'd like to leave a comment, visit Time-Warp Wife on facebook. It's a great source of fun and fellowship!!

If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife

Visit Proverbial Homemaker for your chance to win a copy of The Good Wife's Guide.

Today and every Tuesday, I want to invite bloggers to link-up any blog posts that will encourage women to joyfully live out their roles as wives and keepers of their homes I'm looking for posts on marriage, parenting, housekeeping, or recipes.

1. Enter the direct link from your post into the linky tool below!

2. Please link back here with the {TITUS 2}SDAYS code (below) so that other bloggers can join in too!

3. Enjoy each other's fellowship, and have fun!

FAQ:
Can I use an old post, or do I need to use a current one?You can absolutely use an older post if you feel that the post is a great fit for this meme. Have fun!

<a href="http://www.time-warp-wife.blogspot.com"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyFVkPRxDXs7GaNNaxIYnodArf7CO5U9_6R11ECTIyBoo9k-X8eX06D_quh-uSInbTrPDUhzbPCKwD6OhK9qPTckQ8hUS9bTWC__AlxPJC27dOsVN0nXvjhAIJL5hbU0eqq2K42H-3TbA/s1600/Titus_2sdays_button.png" /></a>

Love Orchestrated by God - And a Titus 2sday Link up!!

Drawn from my archives

I’ll always remember that day. We stood at the front of the church, my sister and I—she in a teal colored sweater, and me wearing the same version in pink. Together we sang, “Jesus Loves Me This I know…” I sang the melody, while Bonnie chimed in with harmony. She always could sing better harmony than I; however that’s considering I couldn’t sing harmony at all. Neither one of us were amazing singers by any stretch of the imagination, but that morning we sang like we were--spreading the love of God, from radiant voices of praise.

It was a crisp February morning, the 14th to be exact. The congregation of maybe 45 people at most, were gathered together in the wee chapel on Morrow Avenue. Mr. Dorsette sat hunched over the keys of the organ that towered above him, while Mrs. Hensley shuffled through her purse in search of her specs. A Kleenex that fell to her lap was carefully tucked into the cuff of her sleeve. Our parents sat stage left, near the front, beaming with pride, since singing to a congregation of 45 was about the closest thing to success our family knew.

Members of the congregation leaned in, squinting, smiling, and glaring at the girl with the blond hair. I was new to the church, but one look revealed that I belonged with the red-headed girl--sisters that looked, sang, and dressed so much alike. We wore beige nylons beneath denim skirts, and flat pumps that added nothing to our short stature.

Sitting in the back row sat a group of young men. The leader of their pack, Michael Schacht, combed fingers through his hair with one hand while the other lay resting on the back of the pew. Listening more intently than he had for the past 20 years in attendance, his eyes remained steady on the girl with the golden hair.

“We need to get them in our band,” he whispered to the guys. And together they nodded wondering which one would get our phone numbers first.

Two weeks later, I answered a call from my sister Bonnie. “Hey, I forgot to tell you,” she said. “Remember when we sang at my church on Valentine’s Day?”

How could I forget? I was nervous beyond belief, wondering if the congregation had gathered a collection to have me taken out for stepping on stage that morning. It’s unnerving to look into the eyes of people whose relaxed demeanor shouts, “You’ll be burned at the stake if you miss that high note.” And I’m sure I missed several.

“Well,” she continued. “There’s a guy in our church who has a band, and he really wants us to sing in it.”

My first thought was What’s wrong with this band? Why would they ask US to sing with them? Weren’t we the girls who stood there only two weeks earlier sporting nail polished nylons (fyi it stops runs) and belting out kindergarten tunes? My second thought was BOYS. In fact my third, fourth, fifth, and sixth thoughts were Boys, Boys, Boys, Boys. So that afternoon in 1986, I joined the Crossroads band.

I hadn’t planned to join a band that morning, 24 years ago, nor did I plan to find my husband in the back row of a little chapel on Morrow Avenue. But God’s plan that Valentine's day was exceedingly abundant above anything I could have dreamed of or prayed for my life. He knew my desires, as he knew Michael’s heart, and so in that moment divinely orchestrated by the Father of love, our journey began.

24 years later, Michael is still the leader of the pack, but that pack has changed some with four children, two birds, three hamsters, and a little blond wife. The pink sweater and nylons are gone, the chapel is empty, and praise God--our house is full.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

If you'd like to leave a comment, visit Time-Warp Wife on facebook. It's a great source of fun and fellowship!!

If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife

Today and every Tuesday, I want to invite bloggers to link-up any blog posts that will encourage women to joyfully live out their roles as wives and keepers of their homes I'm looking for posts on marriage, parenting, housekeeping, or recipes.

1. Enter the direct link from your post into the linky tool below!

2. Please link back here with the {TITUS 2}SDAYS code (below) so that other bloggers can join in too!

3. Enjoy each other's fellowship, and have fun!

FAQ:
Can I use an old post, or do I need to use a current one?You can absolutely use an older post if you feel that the post is a great fit for this meme. Have fun!

<a href="http://www.time-warp-wife.blogspot.com"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyFVkPRxDXs7GaNNaxIYnodArf7CO5U9_6R11ECTIyBoo9k-X8eX06D_quh-uSInbTrPDUhzbPCKwD6OhK9qPTckQ8hUS9bTWC__AlxPJC27dOsVN0nXvjhAIJL5hbU0eqq2K42H-3TbA/s1600/Titus_2sdays_button.png" /></a>

Set Apart, One to Another

One of my all-time favorite Christian choruses has to be "Refiner's Fire" by Brian Doerksen. I absolutely love the lyrics and I must say that this line always tears me up:

My heart's one desire
Is to be holy
Set apart for You, Lord
I choose to be holy
Set apart for You, my Master

Before that song came out in 1990, I hadn't really thought about what the word "holy" meant. To be honest with you, I kinda thought it meant being religious. I'm embarrassed to admit that now, but that was about the sum of my knowledge. I was a church goer, a Bible reader, I had Christian friends, and I taught Sunday school. That was my definition of "holy."

I later came to realize that being holy meant that we are dedicated to the Lord and set apart from all things impure:

But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do;  for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” ~ 1 Peter 1:15&16.

The word "holy" in the greek translation is hagios coming from the word hagnos, which is defined in Strong's Concordance (G53) as:

1. exciting reverence, venerable, sacred
2. pure
   a) pure from carnality, chaste, modest
   b) pure from every fault, immaculate
   c) clean

In the same way, it's a beautiful thing when a husband and wife live in holy matrimony. When a man and a woman are dedicated to each other and set apart from anything that could destroy or damage their union.

This requires sacrifice on our part. Sacrifice might be anything from giving up something that distracts us from your relationship to career choices that we make. I hope and pray that we are living this way to please God, but let us also give attention to pleasing our husbands.

Saying "I do," and being united in holy matrimony is more than a ceremony. It's a life-long commitment of giving. And in the same way that being holy was more than attending church and reading my Bible, marriage is more than just living in the same house and putting up with each other. It's a continual giving of ourselves in dedication one to another.

A prime example of this is Kirk Cameron who refused to compromise both his faith and his marriage for the sake of career. His wife Chelsea stepped in for the scene at the end of "Fireproof" when Caleb kisses Catherine, and in my opinion it made the movie so much better for me as a viewer. After all, isn't that what the movie was about?

Catherine was distracted with a relationship at work, Caleb was distracted by women on the internet and neither of them were dedicated to making their relationship work. That is until Caleb took action that changed the course of their marriage.

Yeah, you've probably seen this scene before, but it's definitely worth a repeat!






You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

If you'd like to leave a comment, visit Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here

If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife

Social Networks - An Easy Access to Infidelity

Drawn from my archives

It used to be our window on the worldwas nothing more than a view of ourbackyard, but modern technology givesus the opportunity to peer into placesour eyes should not go.
More and more often I'm hearing stories about women who are drawn away by their lust through facebook and text messaging. Social networking is a temptation that many wives are facing today and this trend needs to be addressed.

Not only is it a looming temptation to flirt--it’s also an escape from reality. This quick 'n easy access to infidelity is something we’ve never experienced before in history. We are just one click away from flirting at any moment of the day in the privacy of our own home. All one has to do is walk away from the laundry and within ten minutes she can be on a virtual date with her ex. How easy is that? Unfortunately it's too easy, which is why the internet is a dangerous tool that needs to be handled with caution.




Live as children of light (for the fruit
of the light consists in all goodness,
righteousness and truth) and find
out what pleases the Lord. Have
nothing to do with the fruitless deeds
of darkness, but rather expose them.
It is shameful even to mention what
the disobedient do in secret.
But everything exposed by the light
becomes visible—and everything
that is illuminated becomes a light.
~ Ephesians 5:8b-12, NIV  


Imagine having an ugly fight with your husband, and you storm out of the room to cool off. You turn on your facebook, and what do you see? You might see an ad with an incredibly handsome man that's waiting to talk to you "right now." Or you might see the little green dot that signifies a certain man is online.

The problem with situations like this is that your husband has a home-team {dis}advantage. Because you live with him every day, you see his bad side as well as his good. You've seen him through sickness and health. You've witnessed his grandest of smiles, and you've seen the way his face turns cold in the heat of an argument. You can't compare that to the picture-perfect profiles you find on the net.

The more serious issue we're facing is that when you engage in private conversation on the net, you're exposing yourself to a situation that could easily lead to temptation by both parties involved.

It’s important to be aware of the risks and honor our vows enough to set boundaries before we are drawn into situations that our Lord would consider indecent.

Note that I said "our Lord" there--not our friends. It's important that we resist the urge to go with the flow when it comes to our lives. As of 2008 is was reported that 40% of all marriages had ended in divorce (Wikipedia). That's what the "flow" has to offer. God offers us a 100% success rate when both a husband and wife honor their vows to love honor and cherish one another until death do them part.

What are those boundaries, and where should they be set? Those are your choices to make. It might mean removing men from your friend's list or it could be a matter of keeping yourself marked out of chat. For another it might work best to have a joint facebook account with your spouse. Really the boundaries depend on where your weaknesses lie and what might cause you to stumble.

Bottom line is that we need to be careful, and seek God to fulfill our desires--not man. When our eyes are fixed on the Father and His will for our life, we are apt to make better choices in those quiet moments when temptation sets in. Stay in prayer, keep reading the word, and live a noble life so that God will not only be glorified in our marriage, but that your illumination will be a shining light in this dark world.

Be very careful, then, how you live—not
as unwise but as wise, making the most
of every opportunity, because the days
are evil. Therefore do not be foolish,
but understand what the Lord’s will is.
~ Ephesians 5:15-17

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

If you'd like to leave a comment, visit Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here

If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife