Infidelity in Marriage – Rebuilding the Trust You Once Had

The problem with infidelity in marriage is that getting over the betrayal and rebuilding trust takes a long time and a great deal of work and effort. Once you've come to the realization that a part of your marriage was a lie, it's hard to know what is real again.

You may feel bad about yourself for having faith in and trusting your cheating spouse. You can't believe that you fell for all their absurd lies. You should have known, been able to spot the lies when they first occurred. Don't beat yourself up! Anyone can be deceived by a good liar (even law enforcement officials), don't always get it right when it comes to spotting a lie. You may feel hopeless and scared, plagued by doubts. How do you know they are telling you the truth this time?

In the aftermath of the marital affair, you may want to rebuild the trust with your spouse and save your relationship. But in your heart you want some solid proof that your cheating spouse is no longer lying to you about the affair. If you must know for sure, there are a couple of options open to you. For some people these may seem a bit extreme, but if you feel a compellingly strong need for proof these might work.

Request the cheating spouse take a polygraph test

The test can be an accurate measure for the majority of people who take it. The test itself is said to have a 60-70% success rate. Only you can decide if it's worth it. On the upside though, your cheating spouse may decide to come clean rather than submit to a polygraph test.

Professional specialized lie detector training

This option is a lot more expensive than a polygraph test. It's the same kind of training that people who work in the intelligence field receive. Keep in mind that the majority of people do not always know for sure when someone is lying. It must be stressed that only you can decide if getting to the truth is worth it.

It's not easy to rebuild a relationship that has been devastated by lies and untruth. In order to get past the infidelity in marriage, you need to create a new foundation of trust, one stone at a time. True, you've been hurt so deeply that you just can't seem to let go and trust again. But if you want to save your relationship, at some point you will have to trust that your spouse is not lying to you.

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