Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Dealing with Infidelity in Marriage - Steps Towards Healing Again


It's an unfortunate fact that many marriages today are devastated by one spouse committing adultery. If you have been cheated on you are likely feeling betrayed, hurt, angry, jealous, sick, sad, humiliated, depressed, and countless other emotions all at once. The affair hit like a train wreck. But even with all the pain and despair you are experiencing you may feel that your marriage is worth saving. If you want to survive the infidelity in marriage, there are things that you can do that will help the healing process.

Even without infidelity in marriage, a relationship can break down if both spouses aren't committed to continually working to maintain, strengthen and build their emotional connection to one another. Needless to say, if your spouse has cheated, this connection suffers a devastating breach, which needs to heal if you want to move your marriage forward, away from the period of infidelity.

How can you build a strong emotional connection with a spouse who has lied and deceived you? At the moment this may seem like a hopeless task. You are having to deal with all the negative after-effects of the affair and besides you don't even trust your spouse anymore or believe anything that comes out of his mouth. Here are a few things that you can do to repair the emotional connection with your spouse after infidelity in marriage.

No more secrets

Both you and your spouse need to commit to and resolve to be 100 percent open and honest with each other in all things. By following this rule neither you nor your spouse will be left in doubt as to each others motives.

Set questioning guidelines

If you want your spouse to be completely honest with you when answering your questions, just make sure that you are ready for the answers, it might not be what you want to hear. Also you should not use honesty to browbeat your cheating spouse into feeling more guilt. When trying to be 100 percent honest, you must use common sense, tact and good judgment.

Set an appointment

During the aftermath of an affair, it can be a challenge to commun icate with your spouse, so it is a good idea to prearrange a specific time and place where the two of you can really talk and focus on each other without outside distractions.

Working to rebuild the emotional connection with your cheating spouse can be a challenge but you must try to do it. It will take time, effort, and a stubborn attitude, it won't happen overnight - there is no fixed time for these things to heal - but eventually you will heal and move past this infidelity in marriage period.


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