Dealing with infidelity in marriage isn't always an easy process. When the cheating is ultimately revealed, the bond between the couple is going to be strained at best. There are all kinds of emotions being felt and it can leave the partners feeling miles apart both emotionally and physically. Many couples come through this type of event to go on to rebuild their relationship so it's stronger than it ever was. That obviously takes a great deal of commitment and hard work but for a couple intent on staying together and making their relationship thrive, it's more than worth any effort it takes.
When you're dealing with infidelity in marriage you have to have realistic expectations. If you were the spouse who was unfaithful you can't expect your partner to forgive you straight away. Adultery is a serious betrayal and it takes time to move past it. You both have to work in tandem to do that and it involves a great deal of frank and honest discussion. Talk to each other about what happened and why it happened. The marriage had weaknesses before the affair. That's obvious or the infidelity would never have occurred. You need to address both the actual cheating itself and what lead up to it.
One common mistake that is made when a couple is trying to put an affair behind them is contact with the other person continues. If your spouse was unfaithful you must insist that they remove the person they cheated with from their lives completely. If any sort of contact is still there in the form of emails or an occasional phone call, that's undermining the work that you two are trying to do in terms of rebuilding your marriage. There should be no exceptions when it comes to this. Be insistent on it. It's the only way your relationship has a chance.
It's not uncommon for couples to come through the experience of an affair stronger and more committed to each other. That's because a person's priorities often shift when they realize they are on the cusp of losing their marriage and family. Whatever has been important in your life up to this point needs to be re-evaluated. That's true for both partners. You have to put each other before everything else if you want to deal with the infidelity in the most effective way. Make a point of becoming each other's best friend and life partner again. Focus as much time and attention as you can on that. You'll not only be saving your marriage but you'll be rediscovering the person you fell in love with all over again.
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