Thursday, March 29, 2012

Secret to Saving Your Marriage

A Secret to Saving Your Marriage

A Secret to Saving Your Marriage

Copyright (c) 2012 Ethan Andrews

You can save your marriage and it can start with something you have complete control over, and that works regardless of what anyone else around you does. One of the first things you need to do is to gain a new or renewed perspective on various aspects of your relationship. The way you see things can have a positive and significant impact that brings the two of you closer together.

Here are a few tips for changing your perspective for the better. Remember, often times things are never as bad, and yes, maybe never as good as they may seem to be. Let's think on this. At times, we let ourselves get all worked up over something that isn't as terrible as we make it out to be, but we act at that moment as if there were nothing as terrible as what just happened to us. Yes, the event or action may very well be bad, even very much so. But it is not the end of the world. Let's not treat it as such. Because we will need to take small steps as well as big ones, and having a good perspective on things brings tremendous value to our relationships.

Also, when we see positive signs and steps that the relationship is getting better, we can give too much credit and hang all our hopes on it, only for it to be an illusion and it dashes our dreams for restoring the marriage. Now, should we take comfort and encouragement in good signs and improving aspects of the relationship? Of course! Just don't put too much stock in it or "read" too much into it. Be thankful for the improvement, see it as another step on the road to a better and improved marriage, and leave it at that. If every time you see a glimmer of hope and the next day or week it seems everything has taken 3 steps back for that one forward, you're going to be on an emotional roller coaster that only hurts you. Stay calm, be hopeful and realize that while things may truly and permanently see significant leaps forward for the positive, it may not be the case. Smile, say thank you on the inside, and just let it unfold.

Remember, keep a healthy balance between thinking everything is falling apart and just "knowing" it's all better now because we saw and experienced an aspect of the relationship get better. It may take time and it may happen quickly. Don't rush things and yet, keep an open mind that things can do and develop quickly. Let the experiences happen on their own time frame, but you keep your perspective on them in check. To help accomplish that, be quick to listen, slow to speak and never act immediately. This doesn't mean you shouldn't be angry over something. As you know, there are things to be angry over. It doesn't mean you shouldn't answer and give your opinion. You should. It does mean that how you see things will determine, to a large degree, how your spouse and everyone else acts around you.

You see, it's not just everyone else's actions, especially your spouse's, that you need to keep in a reasonable, healthy perspective, It's your own, as well. How does your spouse view you? Even when you are right, how does it come across? What's it like talking with you or living with you?

Right now, there are no right and wrong answers. This isn't a blame game. It's an exercise to see and get a grip on, ok, where are we, really? What is it like to be around me and what is my spouse like? How can I view this area of my life differently so that I have more control over the relationship, at least from my end, and end up with more control and influence in their eyes as well to help mend and restore and repair everything we need to have a healthy, happy and vibrant marriage that creates wonders for both of us! You can do this and it's easy when you begin practicing it. Get started today and enjoy the benefits it can bring.

Ethan Andrews has helped countless couples as a relationship advisor. If you want to save your marriage and discover the key things you can do to restore almost any relationship, even if you're the only one who wants to, you can visit his website at

Tags:saving your marriage, mending a marriage, stopping divorce, stop my divorce, save my family


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