Monday, September 8, 2008

When Did He Show Me His Love?

Living with this man of mine was somewhat of a challenge at times. What did he want from me? Didn't he understand that I had feelings too? He often told me that he would come home when he felt like it and there was nothing that I could do about it. Although we throughly discussed at length how we were going to do things together, we rarely did. He didn't like going to the movies. He didn't like going to eat out together much. This man didn't like going ANYWHERE with me, unless it was going to exchange some sort of tool that he didn't want to deal with himself. So, when we DID go to exchange something for him, he would go to eat out with me kind of as a reward for my helping him. He liked buying things but didn't want to deal with the bills as they came in. I ended up paying all the bills, taking care of kids, cleaning the house, cooking two dinners ( one for me and the kids to eat, and one for him that was different). Heck, we didn't even watch tv with me. All he wanted to do, was go to work, come in the house and isolate himself to his own tv shows or video games or stay in the garage until it was time to go to sleep. Looking back on this strange behavior now, I can honestly see what was going on.....this man showed no interest in being with me, only using what resources I had to give to him. What a shame that I never even saw this behavior as being of someone who had another woman. All I saw at that time, was a man who acted strange and I thought it was due to his culture. What a wasted many years I spent with someone who didn't even show his love.


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