Why Is My Husband Addicted to Sex With Other Women?

By Lidy W Seysener


Some time ago I received an email from a woman questioning her husband's continuing infidelity despite the fact that they have been married for more than twenty years. The simple question was why he would continue doing this?

Men`s...

The answer of course is never quite as simple as the question as there may be a number of reasons that he might continue to be unfaithful. In this article I'll describe a few and what this woman might be able to do about it.
The first thought I had when reading this question was that this man has not yet grown up. It feels like he may be stuck in adolescence still trying to figure out who he is and how he wants to be as a man.
The other thought I had that may be an extension of the one above is that this man is trying to prolong his youth by acting as a young man still unable to control his biological urges, which makes me wonder how this might present in other areas of his life such as in his work or as a parent himself.
And then it could be that he's just trying to prove that he still has "it", whatever "it" is. It may be something to do with a low self-esteem that he feels he needs to prove to himself or even to his wife, that he is still attractive to others and be attractive enough to be sexually desirable.
But then it could be that his wife, she who wrote the email, is a very powerful character in her own right, or maybe is simply a "nag", and the affairs are his way of escaping, if only for a moment, her abuses.
And then it could be that this is what was modelled for him as a child by his parents, or other significant people in his life, as being the way to behave as an adult thereby having the husband believing that this is what all married couples do.
And of course it may be that the women he is having the affairs with are having their own issues and are manipulating him into believing that he is more than a conquest by their seductive advances which, because of his low self-esteem he is unable to resist.
Nonetheless, whatever the reason, the continuing affairs are certainly representative of something critically amiss in this relationship that needs to be addressed.
The way to do this is firstly is for the wife to challenge him on what he is doing. In this case she needs to ensure that he understands that the behaviour is inappropriate and will not be tolerated any further. It might be that for the sake of the relationship, or for the children of the relationship, never a good reason, that she has turned a blind eye to the behaviour and pretended that it just didn't happen.
The wife might have to take a good hard look at herself as well in terms of what she might be doing or saying that encourages him to continue the behaviour.
This may be too big an ask for anyone to address between themselves so this might be best done with the assistance of a couples counsellor. The counsellor will ask both of the couple lots of questions that might not have otherwise been asked to help both people in the couple to understand exactly what these recurrent affairs mean to them and what they can do to bring their relationship back on track.
So until next time - Relate with Love
Lidy Seysener
About the Author
As a qualified Counselor, Lidy Seysener specializes in helping individuals and couples make the most of their lives and their relationships. She's been Counseling for more than twenty years and can also boast having been in an enduring relationship for as long.
For more information about me or what I do take a look at my newest website: http://www.acouplesjourney.com where you will find lots more information including quizzes and questionnaires. enter your details and you will get a free copy of my limited edition ebook titled 'Relationships - A Couples Journey'.
 2010 Lidy Seysener - all rights reserved

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Tags:critically amiss ,good reason ,continuing affairs ,resist nonetheless ,seductive advances ,good hard, couples counsellor ,time ago ,relationship back ,recurrent affairs 

Why I can`t attract guys?

5 Common Myths About Why You Can't Attract Guys! Read This Before It's Too Late!
By Savanna Lewis

Many women like to put the blame on guys for why they are still single. They come up with the most absurd excuses like "guys are scared to approach me" or "guys don't want to have a relationship with me because I make more money than them." The truth is that women need a way of justifying why they are still single, and they come up with rationalizations like these to try to make themselves better. Unfortunately, these excuses end up helping nobody, and it's best for you to learn about them yourself before it ends up being too late.
Myth #1
Some women think that men avoid getting involved in a relationship with them because they are earning more than guys. This is actually far from the truth. I know a number of couples with whom the woman is earning more than the man. I even have a friend who is making all the money for her household because her husband got laid off and doesn't have a job. Men are not closed-minded about being in a relationship with a girl just because she earns more than him. As long as he is getting the respect he deserves and feels important to you or to the family, money doesn't matter.
Myth #2
Men don't like women who talk about their success. It's not true, but many women believe it. The fact of the matter is that men don't like women who start bragging about their income, job, or car the moment they introduce themselves. It's not that men mind women who have these things, but just that men don't like women whose lives revolve around these things because it makes them come across as egotistic. If he learns about these things over time instead of you telling him immediately, he will be more impressed.
Myth #3
The next myth is that men are too intimidated to approach you. Sure, many men are intimidated by certain women, but the only reason for this is because the women are putting up a cold front. They can tell just by observing her that she's got an attitude. Men don't want to go up to a girl and get blown off. They would much rather approach a woman who smiles, laughs, and seems friendly.
Myth #4
A lot of girls will claim that they are still single because there are no "good" guys left. The truth is that these girls have set such stringent requirements on what kind of guys they will date that their dating pool is severely restricted. For example, they will only date guys who have a prestigious degree, a certain income level, great looks, and a big house. By doing so, they end up looking over the vast majority of guys and end up overlooking most of the "good" guys.
Myth #5
Another big misconception women have about guys is that they assume that any guy who gets married to a financially successful and independent woman is lazy and just wants someone to take care of him. The reality is that it is human nature for guys to want to be independent. If a guy is not independent and still relies on someone else to take care of him financially when he's older, he doesn't feel fulfilled. Notice the number of single women with children and absentee fathers. Men do not want a relationship just so they can have someone to take care of them.
Pay Close Attention Here-
Most women who have problems in their relationship or dating lives are too lazy to take action and end up lonely and miserable for the rest of their lives. If you do not take action now, your situation will probably never improve! For a limited time only, I will be offering FREE help and advice to anyone who sends me questions regarding their dating and relationship issues! Just shoot me an email at savannaharperlewis@gmail.com and I will help you solve your problems once and for all!
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