So Why Did You Get Married in the First Place?

It sounds like an odd question, to be sure. But it you're dealing with problems in your marriage, such as coping with infidelity or just failing to understand each other anymore, it's a very important question.

Especially if your spouse has left you, or you're on the brink of divorce.

So why did you get married in the first place?

What attracted you to your spouse? What were thoise little things about him or her that made you all giddy, and kept you from sleeping at night? What was it about that person that made you so irritatingly happy that your friends stopped answering your phone calls?

Here's the thing - those things are still there. Life has gotten in the way - it always does - but that doesn't change the fundamental things that brought you and your spouse together.

Couples on the brink of divorce often say, "We're just not the same people we were when we met." Sure, everybody changes... but nobody becomes a completely different person.

Remembering the cute, thoughtful, wonderful things that you found so amazing when you met your spouse helps you get back to the core of your relationship - the reasons you got married to begin with. And while it's easy to lament the ways in which you and your spouse changed, it's much better to see those changes for what they are - a natural part of life.

No couple escapes change. Jobs, finances, children, aging parents, illness... all of these things (and many more) are instruments of change. But by getting back to the core of your relationship, it's not hard to see how the two of you can adapt to changing circumstances. You'll probably even find that the two of you haven't grown apart as much as you thought.