How To Keep The Romance Alive In A Marriage - Not As Hard As You Think!

The beat thing about marriage is sharing. This will be the answer of most successful marriage couple if you will be asking them about the romance in marriage. Both can enjoy the romance even if only one initiates sharing. Romance is an activity that cannot work without the participation of both. Sharing is really very important in a relationship.

If you have decided that romance will keep your marriage alive, and if you want to improve the romance on your marriage, you nee...
The beat thing about marriage is sharing. This will be the answer of most successful marriage couple if you will be asking them about the romance in marriage. Both can enjoy the romance even if only one initiates sharing. Romance is an activity that cannot work without the participation of both. Sharing is really very important in a relationship.

If you have decided that romance will keep your marriage alive, and if you want to improve the romance on your marriage, you need to work out on this part. You will need to plan your romance in advance on both of your minds.

If you will be giving gifts to your partner, make sure that the gift you are giving will affect your partner. The impact to your partner must be good. Never chose a gift that will insult you partner. Tell your partner how special this gift means to you. A present may not be expensive. Choose a gift that your partner will remember. In this way, both of you will enjoy the romance and will continue to become romantic if you are able to handle it well.

Even if you think of giving gifts to your loved one, the gift you must give need not be expensive. You do not have to spend much money to be romantic. You can start a plan before your partners break at work. Then you can devote all the time in that day with your partner. You can give your partner a soothing massage, foot scrub, back rub, and do the shores together and many more worthwhile activities that will make the bond stronger. You can let your partner decide on what is the possible thing to do to enhance the romance between the two of you.

Think about something special. You can treat your partner in a local honeymoon trip. You can visit a local hotel and spend the whole day and night for honeymoon. It does not need to be expensive; you just have to make sure to include champagne, strawberries and whipped cream in your honey moon package. You can do your thing while playing a nice, romantic, mood setting music in your honeymoon suite.

You can add a special twist in this rare occasion. You can pack your partners bag and tell your partner on what are your plans in this activity. Blind fold your partner and lead your partner to the honeymoon suite. This can add thrill to your romantic relationship.

Before you can start up your local honeymoon, go to the nearest shop and look for a card that you can give your partner. Buy as many cards as you can do not limit your chance to be romantic. Choose a card to where you can write how you feel about your partner‘s great romantic influence in your life. You can choose to send it before this special moment starts or even every month, every week or every waking hour.

You can cook for your loved one as well. During weekend, try to give your partner a special menu that includes all the favorite food. Add some sweetness by baking sweet cakes and cookies. This will make your partner love your more.

Of which ever idea is going to work for your loved one make sure to include your heart to every activity you do. Remember that in anything you do that most important thing is that your together.

Love Means Appreciating the Whole Person

Everybody has faults, and more often than not, their faults are nothing more than the flip side of their positive characteristics. What does this mean in a relationship?
Lisa was furious. She found herself throwing things into her pocketbook and slamming drawers. "What's his problem?" she fumed. "The rent is late again, and all he says is, 'Don't worry, it'll be okay.' I can't take it anymore! Whether the baby runs a high fever or the electric company wants to turn off the electricity because the bill was misplaced and never paid, all he can say is, 'Don't worry. It'll be fine. Calm down.' When I got married, I thought I would have someone to share my burdens with, not ignore them. Doesn't he CARE?!"

Barry was getting frustrated. "Why does every little thing I say set Michelle off crying?" he wondered. "I was just making a joke. Even my sisters never got insulted the way she does. Why does she have to be so sensitive? Almost every discussion we have about anything serious ends up with her crying, and I'm getting sick and tired of always feeling like the bad guy. This is not what I envisioned when we got married. I've had enough of this!"

Both Lisa and Barry seem to have legitimate complaints. Lisa's husband, Mike, just shrugs everything off, and Barry's wife Michelle overreacts to every little comment he makes. When it goes on and on, day after day, both Lisa and Barry begin to feel frustrated in their marriages. And although they haven't said so - even to themselves - deep down, they are both wondering if they really married the right person.

But before letting matters go any further, both Barry and Lisa would be well-advised to turn the clock back to the time when they were still single and searching. Let's do it for them, and see what we find:

Lisa was always a somewhat nervous type. Throughout school, she would suffer from headaches whenever she had an exam. When her friends began to receive replies from colleges before she did, she began to call the admissions office twice a day because she was so nervous that something had happened. Lisa knew that she was way too anxious about everything, but couldn't seem to control this aspect of her personality.

When Lisa met Mike, she was struck by how immediately relaxed she felt in his presence. His calm, easygoing, stress-free personality set her at ease, and she found herself enjoying his company more and more. When they got engaged, she knew that with Mike at her side she would always feel secure that things would work out.

Although Barry loved his parents dearly, he knew that he wanted his home to be somewhat different than the one in which he grew up. For some reason, it always seemed that his mother was not quite in tune with his father. As Barry matured, he realized that while his mother was talented in many areas, she lacked sensitivity. As Barry started to think about marriage, he knew that this quality was high up in his list of priorities. When he met Michelle, the first quality that he noticed was her incredible sensitivity. She seemed to know just what to say to everybody at just the right time. The more Barry got to know Michelle, the more he admired that quality of hers. And when they got engaged, he knew that in Michelle he had found someone who would truly be his partner, with whom he could always share his feelings with and know that she would understand.

So what went wrong?

Nothing.

Yes, nothing. Both Lisa and Barry got exactly what they wanted. But there was one small rule that no one told them about. It's a rule that could change their lives, and maybe yours, too:

When you look at a person you have to realize that both what you enjoy and what you don't enjoy are two sides of the same coin.

That bears repeating:

What you enjoy and what you don't enjoy are two sides of the same coin.

It's a cliche but it's true: No one is perfect. Everybody has faults, and more often than not, their faults are nothing more than the flip side of their positive characteristics. That means that some people who tend to be relaxed, calm and stress-free might not be overly concerned about issues that are truly serious and demand attention. And that people who are extremely sensitive to others might be very sensitive themselves, and need to be treated accordingly.

In every relationship - but especially in marriage - it is crucial to learn how to appreciate the whole person, and to accept the fact that those qualities that you admire most in your spouse might have other aspects to them that may not be to your liking, and may require some adjustments. The best adjustment you can make is to refocus your viewing lens.

For Lisa, that means focusing on Mike's amazing ability to calm her down and keep her balanced, rather than on those situations in which his easygoing nature seems to be a drawback. For Barry, it means concentrating on Michelle's incredible sensitivity to his feelings while accepting the fact that her own feelings may be fragile and to weigh his words carefully. Mike and Michelle are not off the hook either. If Lisa gets upset, Mike can remind himself of that thanks to her they have electricity; Michelle should tell herself that Barry is used to joking, and that if he hurts her feelings it is more than likely unintentional. If each spouse shows the other how much they appreciate him or her as a whole person, they will have imbued their marriages with a staying power that is second to none.

Is your Marriage at High Risk for Divorce?

Family Systems Within Educational & Community Contexts: Understanding Children Who Are at Risk or Have Special Needs
Have doubts about your marriage?  Read this now before it’s too late!  Who succeeds in their marriages?  Who are likely to get divorced? Who can benefit from marriage counseling?   Get the answers to these pressing questions.
Take this quick test:
Sex Technique & Sex Problems in Marriage

· Were either of you under 22 when you married?

· Did either of you not get your high school diploma or GED?

· Do you make under $24,000/year as a couple?

· Are you two of different religions?

· Did either of your parents divorce?

· Are you or your spouse very critical of each other ?

· Are you or your spouse very defensive?  Do either of you need the last word?

· Do you tend to withdraw from each another?

· Do either one of you feel contempt for the other?

The more you answered "yes" to these questions, the higher is your risk for divorce.  Those who answer “no” generally have more realistic expectations of one another and their marriage.  They tend to communicate better, use more effective problem solving skills and are found to have higher compatibility scores.

What type of person is most likely to benefit from marriage counseling?  Well, everything else being equal, women seem to learn more from it than their spouses.

What type of couple benefits the most from marriage counseling? The answer is younger, communicative, educated, egalitarian, still loving and relatively open-minded couples.

Everything else being equal, important factors associated with unsuccessful marital therapy include:  Procrastinating before seeking help,  spouses who are determined to get a divorce and/or those who is closed to any new suggestions.

Dr John Gottman's research discovered that all couples experience conflict in their marriages but the happier ones manage their disagreements better because of a foundation of affection and friendship which they previously developed. Those without this foundation don’t appear to have the commitment, motivation or skill to problem-solve effectively under high stress.

Bottom line - if you really care about your marriage and think it may be in trouble, don’t wait. Seek marriage counseling as soon as you notice the warning signs and make a committment to be open-minded during the process.