Monday, May 10, 2010

Waiting Until It's Too Late

Out of the blue, he called me again. I was thinking (as I was hearing him say hello) "oh no! what does he want now"? He started by telling me about a little old lady that was "our" friend, but once we divorced, she became "his" friend, and that's probably only because she thought he was the world's best thing since she lost her husband. This little lady was in her 90's and she loved his company and there were many times while we were married that I found him with her. I knew that he was just visiting her and helping her to fix things in her home, but he proceeded to tell me how she had passed away. But the problem was, he didn't let me know that she has just barely passed but that she had been buried over a week ago. I don't know why he waited so long to tell me, but maybe it was his way of letting me know but when HE wanted me to know. I felt sad because I had known her for many years, but he didn't stop to think and tell me so that I could go and see her for the last time. Maybe it was that way in our marriage, me not knowing things until it was too late. I didn't see the cheating the first time around until it was already too late. Even finding his cheating the second time around was too late because we had already bought a house together. Sometimes I wonder if I had known the warning signs ahead of time, I could have prevented his cheating....but then I honestly think about it and know in my heart that he would have cheated whether I knew the signs of cheating or not. There was nothing I could have done to prevent his behaviour. And as for my dear old friend, I will miss her....that's for sure.

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