Are You Where You Want To Be In Life?

Are you where you want to be in life? I only ask this because life is so short and I have lost so much of it, going through my ex's cheating. I don't know why I couldn't open my eyes and face what was going on.... I saw it, I heard it, but I just couldn't react, and I think it was if my life was frozen in time. I didn't want to believe it. I wanted to believe all the lies he told me about HER being the one who always called him. Funny thing was, even though he didn't call her, she didn't have a car and the only way that she saw him was because he drove 30 minutes out of his way to see her. He told me that he wasn't doing anything, and that it was all in my imagination. He was so good at his words that I even started doubting myself....but at some point in my life, I got up out of the funk I was in, and started to get stronger. I started to believe in myself and although I wanted all the answers, I never got them. It's been years now, and I still don't have the answers, but they are not important to me anymore. I have discovered that being with him was too much drama. I was tired of trying to catch him with her, tired of checking his phone and tired of him treating me like I was nothing. Where did I want to be in life? I wanted to be first. Once I finally realized that the other woman came first and I didn't, I had to get out of there. Where am I at in life right now? I am so much happier. I have peace. I am finally without drama. And lastly, I am not being cheated on anymore!

Taking Baby Steps At Moving Ahead

Everything's moved from the other house now into a 10x12 storage unit that holds the rest of my forgotten past. How was I able to leave some of it was something I wasn't sure about, but I have it all now. I ended up giving alot of things away, things that didn't have any meaning anymore and stuff that others would be able to use. The house sits now as if it never had been ours. I know that he started his new life a long time ago when he finally moved back in with the other woman but I wonder if he ever regrets what he did to our family. I honestly think that he still doesn't realize that it was by his own hands that we are no longer together. He has indicated to me a couple of times that if I were to have just forgotten about the other woman, that we would still make things work, regardless of him having any remorse or not. He wasn't willing to give her up so there was no way of working things out anymore. I certainly didn't want to be second place and I felt like I deserved much more. I am taking baby steps to a new life but it isn't always easy.

Me And My Ugly Dishes !

I got a phone call from him yesterday, and immediately I wondered what he wanted NOW! I know this man and he doesn't call unless he wants something or something is wrong....I was right. He proceeded to tell me that he was giving up our home, the one that he fought me so hard to keep. He also told me that he never liked that house, it was ugly, too big and the yard was way too much for cutting. He totally put it all down. He only wanted to fight me for that house because he thought that I would eventually come back to him like I did the last time....but I just couldn't. I was sooooooooo done with him and his cheating. And what's worse, is that he told me that I only have a week to get the rest of my things out of there and asked for ME to set HIS sofa sets out to the curb for him so someone could get a free couch. He said those couches were nasty. I asked about the dishes that I had left for him and he said that he threw most of them out because they were ugly. I am so glad that my name isn't on the paperwork anywhere....I signed it all over to him years ago. He informed me that the house that he and his OW live in now was very cheap rent, just like it was the last time we split and he lived with her. It's going to be okay though, and another chapter of my failed marriage is over.

Moving Out And Leaving Things Behind

When I moved my things out, it was indeed quite akward because he didn't seem to mind that I was leaving, yet he kept walking by me down the hall and trying to see what was going on. I never wanted to move my things with him around, but he made sure he was there. Although I have been moved out for some time now, I realize that there are still things there in my old house. He has made it a point to let me come in whenever I please to get them, but I hesitate because whenever he sees me, he intimidates me, wants to hug me and give me a kiss. I get confused as to what his intentions are and don't want to face him again after he has put our family through all this turmoil. I wonder if those things I left behind are really as important as they used to be. With the holidays coming soon, I am starting to feel blue.

Learning To Move Forward

After finding out about my husband's cheating, what did I do about it? Well, the first time that I found out, I picked up and left, leaving no trail behind me. There was no way that I was going to accept the fact that I saw my husband with another woman. He never knew that I saw him either and after I did, I called him just to see what he would tell me as to where he was and of course, it was just another lie. How did we get to this point in our marriage? Why did he feel it was necessary to step out on me? We were getting along fine up to that point. We did not have any big fights between us, nor did we have any issues unresolved. Up until that very point, our lives seemed to be great. I don't know why he was such a weak man that he couldn't have just chosen to do the right thing by me, just a simple "no" to the other woman would have been all he needed to say, but didn't. Did his weakness lie in the fact that he just couldn't resist her forwardness towards him, him feeling sorry for her or that he just felt that if I didn't know, it wouldn't hurt? No matter what his motives were, they don't matter anymore. I am moving on now and learning how to move forward.

Getting Rid Of The Blues

I know that sometimes I will go over and over things that have happened and wonder why they didn't turn out better, but dwelling on it time after time can only get you upset and sad all over again. Something that I have always enjoyed is music. Believe me, when I am in a bit of a down mood, I put on something quick and snappy and soon I discover I am not feeling as down anymore. There also dancing to that music, if your feet so feel the need to move. There are many other things that can help you get over the "down-in-the-dumps" feeling. Besides music, I have found that excercise also helps. Discovering some of the little things in life can be just what you need to help get your mind off some of the bad stuff. Shopping? Well, that's a good one for many, but for me, not always because I have to be in the mood. Taking your children to a local park and just getting out for some fresh air is always good as well.

Trying To Move On Past His Infidelity

Here I was, feeling like I had been through the mud and back, trying to pick myself up and get on with life. As a little more time passed, things were starting to get better. I wanted to breathe that sigh of relief. No more phone calls coming in from "her". Wow, it had to take a really large incident to happen for him to open his eyes about her. So, could we now go on? Well, we did, for a little while. I was not able to trust, I was not able to keep wondering what all had happened. To be honest, this was just plain hard to deal with.

Can You Move On After The Affair?

Can you move on after that special someone has cheated on you? Oh, I wanted so much to move on. You get with this special person to spend the rest of your life with, have a family with, grow old with, and share your ups and downs. You depend upon him. Your heart gets in really deep. So, what happens when you find out about an affair? You hurt. Your heart grieves for what you have lost. Your heart wants to go on, but it's hard. Sometimes you have a battle with your head and your heart. What can you do about it? That's not so easy to answer. You can find a way to help yourself though. There are great helps out there to help you find your way. One person who really helped me was an old friend of my family. He became a minister, but not only that, he was a listener. He was someone who coached me into seeing the good and the bad. http://FrankFrancis.com was a great help source for me. Some people also choose to find the help through a family member or a close friend. Another site that helped me was http://ivillage.com. This site has a section of forums for women who have issues with a cheating spouse. Whatever you do, please take time to think about what you want in your future and don't make your choice too quickly.