How Long Does It Take To Move On After Infidelity?

How long does it take someone to actually move on after the break up of a relationship or marriage due to infidelity? I have seen it in my different timings....in my own, it seemed like it took forever. I just had a very hard time getting myself to open myself up to anyone else. I had to learn to get over my ex, before I could move on. I have also known people who go out with other people JUST to get over the past....not me. For me, it was YEARS.  Why did it take so long? Was  I thinking at all?  Maybe I just wanted to leave an open space of time to be able to ponder on what had happened to me. Actually, I was still wanting answers....you know, the" how come he did this to me?", and the " why did he cheat on me if he says he really loves me?" and the famous.."oh, you just THOUGHT I did something but I didn't"....no, I didn't get any of those answers and to this day, I know I never will.  But it did take me a very long time to be able to get him out of my system. After all, he broke apart our family, our home, and my heart. So, if you are going through infidelity with your other half, don't expect to get all the answers you are looking for, and don't keep waiting for the answers.  Moving on is something that we all do differently. It takes time...it takes crying, getting mad, and then just finding something better in life. Don't be too hard on yourself. Be patient.

Are You Where You Want To Be In Life?

Are you where you want to be in life? I only ask this because life is so short and I have lost so much of it, going through my ex's cheating. I don't know why I couldn't open my eyes and face what was going on.... I saw it, I heard it, but I just couldn't react, and I think it was if my life was frozen in time. I didn't want to believe it. I wanted to believe all the lies he told me about HER being the one who always called him. Funny thing was, even though he didn't call her, she didn't have a car and the only way that she saw him was because he drove 30 minutes out of his way to see her. He told me that he wasn't doing anything, and that it was all in my imagination. He was so good at his words that I even started doubting myself....but at some point in my life, I got up out of the funk I was in, and started to get stronger. I started to believe in myself and although I wanted all the answers, I never got them. It's been years now, and I still don't have the answers, but they are not important to me anymore. I have discovered that being with him was too much drama. I was tired of trying to catch him with her, tired of checking his phone and tired of him treating me like I was nothing. Where did I want to be in life? I wanted to be first. Once I finally realized that the other woman came first and I didn't, I had to get out of there. Where am I at in life right now? I am so much happier. I have peace. I am finally without drama. And lastly, I am not being cheated on anymore!

Dealing With A Man Who Doesn't Want To Talk

Frustrating as it is, as much as I wanted the answers to all my questions, he was not willing to talk about it. The more and more I prodded, the more he pulled away. Why didn't he want to satisfy my curiosity, knowing that he was the one who cheated on me. He was the one who did wrong in our marriage. I wanted answers, but gone nothing. How do you deal with a man who doesn't want to talk about it? Actually, you cannot make him tell you everything. Even threatening to leave him still didn't work. Giving him the cold shoulder was the only thing that helped me through all this, as far as him thinking that he was being smart by not answering. Perhaps he didn't want to face the actual fact that he had gotten "found out". He didn't want to get into a big arguement because he knew that he was in the wrong. To this day, I have still never gotten any answers, and have to live day by day knowing that at this point, I will never know. I did find a clegyman to talk to, who was also a dear friend of our family. He really did bring alot up for me to think about which helped me get through some of the biggest questions I had. I hope if you are reading this, you will be able to find someone to talk to about your situation and just know, sometimes, you may not get the answers you are looking for.