Desperately Wanting to Submit But Can't

Dear Darlene,

I might be one of your strangest readers LOL... I don't necessarily have much of a religious background, but I FULLY believe in your views on marriage and our role as wives. The problem is... even though I believe in it... my marriage is far from it.


My husband is a great man, loving, honest, hard working and kind... all of which are the reasons I married him. However... he isn't the most knowledgeable in a lot of areas such as finances, business, or even handyman skills... so I end up taking on the role of all of these. I of course have the time to do so because he has blessed me with the opportunity to stay home with our toddler... but because I am in charge of these things I feel as though our roles as husband and wife have been dramatically reversed and I hate it.

I've read your blog posts about submission and I understand it and believe in it but in our case if I submitted to my husband and let him make decisions regarding our finances, business having to do with our lives, etc... our lives would fall apart. You see... when I was six years old my father died suddenly in a tragic accident. I had three other siblings and my mother who was a stay-at-home mom went straight to working 50+ hours a week to take care of us and never remarried. From a very young age I was helping her pay our bills (not by working but by physically writing out checks for her and delivering them to where they needed to go), I heard and watched her make decisions for us and our lives, and she taught me EVERYTHING I know about life both from her positive and negative experiences.

My husband on the other hand doesn't have day to day decision making skills. I always have to correct him and recently I'm beginning to resent him for this... I feel as though instead of having a husband that I can submit to, I have yet another child whose mistakes I have to correct or prevent. The times that it really gets to me is when there is something I DON'T know about and neither does he... then we're left not being able to make a smart decision about something important and my resentment builds towards my husband because he doesn't know how to do those things (i.e., our taxes, buy a car, etc)... things I believe a man needs to know.

Over time my reactions and responses towards my husband have beaten him down... Of course this was not my intention and I ache for my husband to take charge and be in control of our lives instead of me. I just don't know where to go from here or how to recreate our roles as husband and wife as they should be. I know it is my fault and I know I've weakened my husband and I am ashamed of that... but I am ready to correct it but I just don't know how to do it and have it be good for both of us. Like I said... I could just start letting my husband do everything but if I did we'd be in a lot of trouble.

Any advice you have to offer would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,
Desperately Wanting to Submit

________________________________

Dear Desperately Wanting to Submit,

I think that the topic of submission is often confused with the traditional ideas we hold of both men and women. We tend to see women in the kitchen and men working out in the garage. We see men planting a field while the woman is at home doing laundry. This is a beautiful picture when it works well for a husband and wife, but in many cases they see a benefit in changing things up. I know of several incredible women who are submissive to their husbands and yet the husband is the cook in the family. He loves cooking, the wife is freed up to do other chores, and the family is well fed. It works for them.

I look at the Proverbs 31 woman. We're told that, "She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard." That's incredible! This woman is out planting a field--not a small backyard garden with a few cucumbers to pickle--she planted a vineyard! If you look at the verse closely, you'll also see that she "considered" the field, which tells me that she was probably gifted in the same area of business and planning as you are.

I've also seen women caring for sick husbands that they've literally had to carry to bed. That doesn't coincide with our traditional ideas of men and women, instead what we see here is pure love in action.

Submitting is the act of yielding your power for the good of another. It has little to do with who is paying the bills and who is cooking the soup. The question is are you going against his will to have your own way?

If he is comfortable with you paying the bills and you're doing an awesome job, then why change it?

My only concern is that you are afraid to let your husband make decisions because you're concerned that it might end in disaster. The truth is that it might, but if you're aching for him to take charge and be in control of your lives it's a risk that you'll have to take more than once.

A lot of men (and of course women) don't have the skills necessary to make good financial decisions. Neither my husband or I did when we first got married, but we learned from our mistakes which prepared us for future decisions.

If you shield him time and again, he won't grow. We learn from our mistakes; and we only learn to handle responsibility when it's given to us. If you rob him of that you're taking away an opportunity for him to grow into the leader you want him to be. Be ready and willing to give him support, but respect him enough to allow him to choose.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

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16 Creative Ways to Earn Money at Home

Dear Darlene,

I want to ask you a question and I hope you can offer some advice/counsel. I've been enjoying your website, and appreciate your love for being a stay-at-home mom in these days when many women are going to work to simply "escape" being at home.


I was a stay-at-home mom until October when I took a full-time job to help pay for the Christian school tuition of our youngest 3 children. I did try homeschooling, but for many reasons it wasn't a good fit for our family. Our children have a FANTASTIC Christian school, which is 30 minutes from our home, and also 30 minutes from the office where I now work. I LOVED BEING AT HOME, but admittedly wasn't the greatest homemaker (and I'm still not) but trying. I LONG to be back at home, and especially fear for this summer when my boy/girl twins (will be 13 in May) will be home for several weeks by themselves. I do not want this, and neither does my husband, but with our oldest son in college and the next one going in two years, plus Christian school tuition, it's very difficult. My husband has been doing the food shopping for us as he has a GIFT for matching coupons with store ads and saving 20% - 40% every shopping trip. We also have a great amount of stocked-up items so we don't run out to the store unnecessarily.

My question is, can you offer advice on ways I could earn money at home so I can still be involved in the kids' school, their sports, volunteering (local hospital and at church), visiting our aging parents, etc? I cannot tell you how my heart aches to be back home and I want to give homemaking another try! I think I can do a better job now, and appreciate so much more what I USED to have! I just don't want to get involved in the "work-at-home scams" out there. I have secretarial skills, and I'm currently an Administrative Assistant (before our kids were born, I was an Executive Secretary). My husband said if I could figure out a way to bring in $10,000 a year, I could quit my job. I've been praying about this for months. However, if my working allows the kids to have THEIR need for their school met, then I will do it.

I hope you can offer some advice for this grieving Mom/Wife. I miss my kids, I literally HATE being gone from the house 11 hours a day, and I want to be able to meet the needs of EVERYONE in the family, including my husband, and not be semi-comatose by 7pm every night.

Thank you so much for any loving help you can give!

Sincerely,

Love Being at Home

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." ~ James 1:5

Dear Love Being at Home,

You've come to the right person, because I have found several creative ways to earn money from home over the past 17 years. If I wanted to, I could definitely make a good wage from home, but since I started online ministry I stepped back from a few things so I could write.

I'll offer you a list of things that you could do, however, some of these things might take a little studying on your part. If you want to work from home, you'll have train yourself as you would any other job so that you are qualified to do so.

I have studied several books on each of these subjects: Photoshop, page layout, web design, grammar and punctuation, and bookkeeping. Each one of them were for the purpose of developing my skills and preparing myself for work at home jobs. In our world of modern technology there are endless opportunities at your fingertips. Preparing for any one of these jobs would require minimal training. However, while you are building your clientele, you may have to supplement your income by combining a few of these jobs.

Before you decide on anything, I urge you to take it to prayer. If you lay your desire at His feet God will equip you in ways you could never imagine and He will lead you each step of the way. For example, I struggled through school with dyslexia and ADHD, failed grade 12 English and didn't finish reading a book until I was about 30-years-old. I would have never dreamed in a million years that I'd be a writer, but God had other plans and to my surprise I'm not just a writer, I'm a New York Times best-selling author. He is the potter, just be the clay.

With that said, here are some of the jobs that will either keep you busy at home or make your life flexible enough to work around your kid's schedules:

1. Blog Design - I used to own a little web design company, and there wasn't a day that went by when I wasn't approached for work. I'd charge $90.00/job and could easily get one done in an eight hour day. Designing blogs is fairly easy, entire websites take more experience, but the pay is better.
2. Blogging - If you build a blog, over time you can collect advertising revenue, but it takes time to grow and time to keep up. 
3. Proof Reading - There are so many self publishing authors out there today looking for proof readers. 
4. Typing - Again this is an asset for self-published authors. There are still A LOT of people who have their books handwritten or want to transcribe their journals.
5. Baby Sitting - Not my favorite--shhhh... don't tell anyone! 
6. Pet Sitting - One could either pet sit full time days or go to a persons house around lunch time to let the dog out and feed it. Take in a few pets and you have increase your income.
7. Shopping for the Elderly - There are a lot of seniors today who need someone to look in on them and pick up groceries. 
8. Digital Elements - If you are at all creative, learn Photoshop and sell digital scrapbooking kits online. 
9. Book Cover Design - I did this for about five years before giving it up to write full time. I studied page layout, Photoshop and Adobe InDesign prior to stepping into it. There are a lot of authors that are looking for eBook cover designs. *This would also require some artistic ability. 
10. Real Estate Assistant - I worked in Real Estate offices for about five years before staying at home with my kids. During that time I noticed that many of the top agents hire assistants. I think that this one would be perfect for you because of your background. The top agents need help with every area of running a small business from bookkeeping to typing brochures. Re/Max is a good place to find top agents. Maybe drop off a few resumes?
11. Book Keeping for Small Companies - A few years ago I met a woman who was going into this business on her own. About a year later, my husband hired her to do his books. The pay is good and small companies normally can't afford a full-time book keeper. Offering to work 16 hours/month for each company is an asset for both of you. Take on a few and you have a nice part-time job.
12. Income Tax Preparation - With the right program and a short course on the subject, you could be very busy during income tax season. 
13. Page Layout - Advertise yourself to do page layout including resumes, book interior, pamphlets, etc. This would also require some study. 
14. Housekeeping/Home Organization - This isn't a work-at-home job, but I know that it allows you to have a flexible schedule, pays fairly well and you can supplement part-time income by working one day/week or two half days. Aside from cleaning, home organization is something that few people offer, and I know that a lot of working women would appreciate having someone come in and do it for them. 
15. Short Videos - I haven't seriously tried this, but if I had a lot of time on my hands I would. Learn to create videos for small businesses, authors (book trailers), and bloggers. 
16. Computer Apps - Learn how to make computer apps and start selling them. They are in high demand right now and few people know how to make them. Again these are an asset to small businesses, authors, and bloggers. 

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

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How Can I Forgive Myself?

Dear Darlene,

I need some advice. One day I got a message from a guy I had met a few months before. I knew his wife through family and she had mentioned several times that they were filing for divorce because they couldn't stand each other anymore, so I felt justified in being his friend. If I had been any friend at all I would have been pushing him back toward his wife, telling him to fight for his marriage, and cutting contact, but I didn't. I couldn't, because I NEEDED him in a way I had never needed anyone. I needed him to validate me. I needed someone, ANYONE to want me.


Within a couple of months we were much more than best friends and I knew it. We were towing a very blurry line and it didn't take much to push us over to the wrong side. In 2009, at 19-years-old, I broke the one vow I had kept to God and to myself. I slept with a man who was not my husband, and worse than that, a man who was someone else's husband. I have never felt so much hatred toward myself than I did after that. Eventually she found out about the affair and he moved in with me. She had been considering marriage counseling, which of course I didn't know, and she was heartbroken over the betrayal she felt. She and I talked about everything because I felt I at least owed her that. I apologized profusely but I knew she wouldn't be able to forgive me just as I knew I'd never forgive myself. She still hates me, and I want her to. I can't defend a single decision I made because I KNEW it was wrong.

This past October I married that man. I wish I could say there is a happy ending because I hate a sad love story as much as the next person, but I can't. I can say that no matter how we found each other, I love him more than life itself. He is my best friend, my confidant, and a far better man today than he was the day we broke his vows. I just can't get past it. I can't let go. I feel like my decisions ruined the life of a woman who didn't deserve it and at the same time, broke me.

I hate that I disappointed God. I don't know how I let myself get that low. I know that I can never truly move forward, I will never truly be happy, until I can forgive myself but I can't because I know I don't deserve to be forgiven.

I have been finding my way back to God. I know that he never left me, I left him and I know that He has forgiven me because I have begged him for forgiveness. God's love is enfolding me. My life is changed but I am still miserable. I truly don't know what to do. How can I forgive myself for what I did? How can I forgive my husband for what he helped me do? I have said I forgive him, and I have even felt like I do, but there are always those moments when I fear that he will leave me the way he left her, and I hate myself for that but I feel like I hate him for that too. I know how awful this all sounds and I pray that you can find it in your heart not to judge me because of it, even as I judge myself.

Sincerely,

Conflicted & Unforgiven

Dear Conflicted & Unforgiven,

Thank you for your letter. I pray that my words may help in your healing process as you bring this burden to the feet of our Lord.

One line in your letter really stood out to me. It is this: "She still hates me, and I want her to. I can't defend a single decision I made because I KNEW it was wrong."

You are right and you are wrong. Here's why--what you did was very sinful and there is nothing you can say to defend that, we all know this, BUT grace and forgiveness is for sinners. If we only gave grace and forgiveness to the good people in our lives, what benefit would that be to anyone?

I know your pain. I went against everything that I believe and sinned against God and my husband. I felt sick about it, I felt useless and I felt dirty.

What I was feeling was the weight of my sin, but sin doesn't define who we are--God's grace does!

Without sin we have no need for grace. Do you know what I'm saying? Unless we can see the stain of our sin against the perfection of His immaculate grace we will never understand what a gift that grace truly is.

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God. ~ Ephesians 2:8, KJV

Look at the Bible and you'll see that God used people who were broken, sinful, and tarnished to build his kingdom.

And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. ~ Matthew 16:18

Peter is the same man who later denied Jesus Christ hours before his death. Imagine that. Jesus vowed to build his church upon the faith of this believer and this very same man did the unthinkable by denying his Lord, and his friend as He was being led to His His crucifixion.

My servant Peter was not changed in a flash from a simple fisherman to a great leader and teacher, but through the very time of faithlessness -- through the very time of denial -- I was yet making him all that he should be. Impetuous spokesman as he always was, ready to lead the other disciples, Peter could never have been the after power he was, had he not learned his weakness. No man can save, unless he understands the sinner. (God Calling April 4th)

And finally, I'm reminded of something that my dad told me months before he died. They are simple yet powerful words, "God doesn't care about what you did yesterday. He's concerned about what you'll do today."

It sounds to me like God has offered you grace and a new beginning. You're standing at a crossroad in your life where you can either hang on to the pain of your past or move forward walking in grace.

If you'd like to read more about my experience, you can find it here: Grace is for Sinners.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene Schacht



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How to Find Your Purpose in Life

Dear Darlene,

I used to be a super busy woman, Bible study teacher, involved in many ministries, our daughter was busy too, piano, harp, musical theater, ballet... You get the idea a super (overly busy family). My husband works, but none of us were connected. Our daughter became ill, which brought me into deep depression, then her health tanked just as I was recovering (God's Provision). She increasingly got worse through grade 3 and by the summer she was in hospital more than not. We were transferred to a Children's Hospital in another state. She and I lived in hospital almost the entire fall there, my husband visited as his job allowed. She basically was unable to attend school at all through 4th grade.


I tell you all this as I am under the care of an excellent Christian counselor. Admittedly, for the past year, I have simply endured my life or lack thereof. I know longer am able to participate in really any activities outside of our home. I'm not reliable I cancel things all the time, because if my daughter gets sick it is my responsibility.

I have failed to grasp the life God has given me, I wanted something more, something bigger more significant. I am an attorney by trade, however I don't work. I have been challenged in my thought that God must not think much of me to leave me here.

We only have one child. I have had to confess I think I am better than this life. I'm ashamed and yet, I still am grasping that by doing for my family I am connecting to them, contributing to the family, and it feels good. I do have purpose.

Clearly, I'm only able to articulate only a piece, but all that to explain, I stumbled on your blog & I'm trying to learn. I saw somewhere you said to put some of the schedules into a binder? Do you have a layout for how to get started on truly being an engaged Wife & Mom? I have downloaded The Good Wife's Guide eBook, though haven't started it yet. I printed out the housekeeping schedule, but when I tried to get the schedules on how to clean a bedroom & bathroom, I couldn't find them.

I'm am trying to learn how to not get overwhelmed by the cleaning. I do laundry, however, meals are my biggest weakness. Our daughter isn't able to eat, though we are working to be able to give her a few foods, but it is severely limited. My husband can & enjoys cooking, so I have deferred to him, but I really don't grocery shop either. I just don't know what to get & with only 2 people eating I find figuring out portions hard.

Please advise or direct me to any resources that would help me to get a better handle on this. I know the journey we are on is a long one, and I know God as me here for a reason. I also hope you aren't offended by my clearly misguided views. God is gently working with me. Thank you in advance for anything you may be able to offer to help me.

Enduring Life

Dear Enduring Life,

Thank you for your letter, and your transparent heart. I'm glad to hear that you have a copy of my book because I suspect that it will be a big encouragement to you. The cleaning schedules that you are looking for (the ones you mentioned) are in the eBook and so I took them off of my website. I'll be putting up different types of schedules in the future, and Kim Brenneman often shares those types of posts too.

The big thing that I think you will glean from the book is that so many women struggle to keep it all together, while many of us suffer with "June Cleaver Syndrome." We think that everyone else does it so much better than we do. There are seasons in everyone's life, and this season of your life sounds like a struggle as you are taking care of a sick daughter, and the stress of it all. 

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1, KJV

I had to take care of my dad last fall. He died of lung cancer and his brain was full of tumors. I slept in the same room with him helpless as he desperately struggled to breathe. Needless to say my housework suffered while I was dealing with this season of my life, and my kids enjoyed pizza more than they should have.

Bottom line is this, all you have to handle is what God has given you at this very moment. And if that moment is filled with you standing by your daughter's side encouraging her along, then you are fulfilling your God-given role of a mom. Purpose isn't found on a sparkling countertop, or beneath the cushion of a well-vacuumed couch. And in your case--nor would it be defined in a law office away from the home--it's defined in those moments when we give of ourselves for the glory of God. That looks different for everyone.

Here's what a friend of mine told me the other day. Her daughter had just thrown up for the umpteenth time, and so she started a bath for her, just as the dog started to whine. Running to the kitchen she stepped in dog poop--seriously--but that's not all. She put the dog outside, and as she was hustling back to the bathroom she slipped in dog pee and landed flat on her back. Anyone walking into her house could have taken one look at the mess and judged her accordingly. But the sad thing is that WE are often the ones who are busy judging ourselves.

God sees into your heart to where the sacrifices are made, and while He does He's not looking to find perfection. I'll tell you why...

When Jesus died on the cross, He said, "It is finished." The law that condemned us was complete and fulfilled through His sacrificial death. We are made perfect through Him. And so we will fall and we’ll fail, because we struggle against the flesh, but there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus who walk after the Spirit.

So, I ask you to first and foremost forgive yourself for your shortcomings. Don’t give up on your desire to please God and your family, but do it in peace without expectation.

You said, “I have failed to grasp the life God has given me, I wanted something more, something bigger more significant.”

I’d like to ask you to start grasping that right where you are today. Ask yourself this question. What has God given me to handle today? Then take that one step and see where He leads you. That where you'll find your purpose.

One of my favorite pieces of advice was given to me by my dad last year when I spoke frankly with him about my shortcomings. And let me assure you—they were SHORT!

Dad said this, “God doesn’t care what you did yesterday, He wants to know what you’ll do today.”


I’m praying with you as you grasp the life God is giving you now.

And finally you asked for a resource, in particular the area of cooking. I have a good one for you! Check out Comfy in the Kitchen. Janelle is an amazing cook who is truly gifted from God. Unlike you and I she thrives in the kitchen. Her motto is “Step-By-Step You’ll Get it Yet.” Her tutorials are so easy to follow and she makes delicious recipes! I love this chick, and I think you will too!

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

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Are You Strong Enough to Be My Friend?

Dear Darlene,

I am not good at this but I am going to try anyways – I am lost, confused, scared and FULL of bitterness and resentment.  I am afraid that I will lose my husband over all of this. 

I cannot keep my life on track, I fall back into my old ways of being lazy and selfish and out of control.  I want a better life for myself and my husband, unfortunately I have no idea where to start or what to do.  I am   a blueprint type person, where I need specific instructions on how to do something.  I like structure and schedules... but life is not necessarily like that.  I have been searching for so long to figure out what is missing in my life, however I think I have come to the conclusion that I am missing God and I am living a life I want and have no regard for making my life one based upon God. 

I need to know how to start living a life that is God-based, not self-based. I would like for someone to help guide me as to where I need to start and what I need to do. I believe in God, but I do not think before I act or before I speak.  I have become “rotten” to the ones I love and I fear I have become the worst version of myself.  

Do I need to read the Bible every day?  Do I need to attend church?  How do I stop myself from being upset?  How do I become a good Christian? 

Any advice you can provide me with would be so very much appreciated.  I need to get my life right with God and I need to know the detailed steps to take on a daily, almost minutely basis. 

Thank you,

Lost and Confused

Dear Lost and Confused,

Think of yourself like a fire. What do you need to get it burning? You have the spark and that is incredible, I love that. But yes I'd say that in order for us to know and understand God's will for our lives the Bible is a vital part of growing. It's the fuel that keeps the flame alive. Sermons, books, and blogs are wonderful to help you along but I look at all of those things as being spoon fed. So many people go off track because they are fed the wrong message. So while you can enjoy those things and grow from them, see your relationship with God as precious enough to read the Bible and bring it to prayer so that you can ensure the teaching is right.

When I was researching health and diet for Reshaping it All I discovered the power that the subconscious mind has when it comes to mirroring the behavior of others. For example if your friend orders dessert, you're likely to order it too. If your friend pushes her plate away and says, "I'm stuffed." You are more likely to do the same than not.

That's not a serious issue when it comes to things like an extra brownie or a chicken finger, but when it comes to the more serious matters of faith and family, we need people around us who are strong enough to sharpen us and encourage us to grow even in those moments when we don't notice that they are doing so.

You know what I did? I was going to a good church out here--still do--but at the time I didn't feel like I was fitting in so well. I wasn't making any connections with women that I could call up to just go for a coffee or get my nails done. (Some of us women need that! *wink*) So I took a brave step and sought out a friend. I called a pastor's wife from another church that I felt a connection with and asked her to go for lunch. And being the open kind of person that I am I told her I need someone in my life who will sharpen me. I don't need her to be my BFF (although she probably is by now) I just need someone who I can fellowship with over a bowl of soup or a tear stained Kleenex. I need a woman who is strong enough to be my friend. Sounds like the title of a song—ha!

Another way I used to get connected was through a ladies morning out group. My son was about two at the time and the other women had young children too. It was through a good church and we did weekly Bible studies. I developed relationships with those women and they were there to encourage me as a mom, a wife, and a growing Christian.

If I lived in the US, the first place I'd try is Calvary Chapel because I know so many awesome women who attend, and it seems to have a solid doctrine. We don't have Calvary Chapel up here because I'm in Canada and only a few provinces have them. If that doesn't work, feel free to write me again with your location and I'll try to help you find a good church in your area. If you have children or plan on having children getting them connected with other believers that they grow with is such a gift that I've seen in some kids who are now twenty and thirty-years-old. They are so comfortable in the church because they grew up with these people.

And I'm also going to recommend a free online devotional to you. I loved this devotional long before it was free. I'd suggest reading it daily, and then taking the scripture reference that they provide and reading the entire chapter in its context. It's called God Calling.

Or you could start by reading a Psalm a day. But I will tell you where my personal favorite place to start is: Galatians. Here's why: that book and the ones following it are all short, so when I read them I feel like I've accomplished much! And most of the books following Galatians are also letters of conduct and encouragement written to the church.

Now you said, "I cannot keep my life on track; I fall back into my old ways of being lazy and selfish and out of control." Dear sister, that statement reminds me of the apostle Paul, who said of himself "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst." And, wow--I too can relate to that.

Paul also said this, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer myself who do it, but it is sin living in me." ~ Romans 7:15-17, NIV

Paul was talking about his sinful nature that is at war with the flesh. It’s the heart and the passion of man that wants to overeat, oversleep, yell at our children and husband, lie, steal, facebook our ex-boyfriend, and the list goes on. It’s a struggle that we all face in the flesh.

But there’s good news, and it’s found in Romans chapter eight where Paul explains that life in Jesus Christ sets us free from that. It’s not always an automatic thing where you give your life to Jesus and your sinful desires fall away. For most of us it’s the process of renewing our hearts and minds through prayer, the Bible, and fellowship, while we take up our cross and fight against temptation. The more that we follow the Spirit and understand God’s plan for our life the less we desire to follow our lazy, self-centered flesh and the more we desire to live righteously. The first step is to repent of our sin, then we start walking in faith with the help of the Holy Spirit.

One more thing about the fellowship: remember that an ember alone will burn out much quicker than one that is placed close to the fire. Your goal is to keep that fire going strong!

I hope I have encouraged you in your walk.

If you want any more information about steps to peace with God, check out the link in my left sidebar and it will lead you to an article by The Billy Graham Association.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

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Words of Assurance

Dear Darlene,

I am about to turn 33 weeks pregnant and I know I will have to have a c-section. I have had two before plus one myomectomy. I am getting very nervous as I dislike the surgery (every aspect: spinal block, risk of infection, unable to move legs, pain afterwards, feeling helpless and vulnerable, fear).

I put my trust in God when deciding to try once more but I am not biblically well educated enough to have scripture to mediate on for this journey. I hope you can help me as I would like to face this with God's word in my mind.

Sincerely,

Mommy in Waiting

Dear Mommy in Waiting,

As I started to search the scriptures for you I found so many that were comforting. But since I don't have space to put all 66 books of the Bible in one post *wink* I'll give you a few that I felt will minister in your situation and offer you assurance that God is with you through every step of this journey.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

~ Jeremiah 29:11

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you.

~ Psalm 139:13-18

I love how verse 18 reads, "When I awake, I am still with you." Remember those words, and hold on to them when you go into surgery. He will be there like a good friend who waits at your bedside.

I'd actually recommend reading all of Psalm 139 because there are so many words of comfort found there. Maybe you can take a highlighter and mark some of them to meditate on, or jot some of them down in a notebook.

And finally, I'd like to suggest Psalm 23.

The LORD is my shepherd,I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil, for you are with me;

your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Praying that this pregnancy and your stay in the hospital will be a blessing until the time of celebration comes!

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

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My Thoughts on The Word and Baptism

The Bible is like a jigsaw puzzle of

a breath-taking image. Looking at one

small part isn't quite the same as

viewing the work of the artist in it's

entirety. Each piece fits nicely into

the next, and the more that you study it,

the more you begin to see

the image come to life.

~ Time-Warp Wife





Dear Darlene,



Would you believe I found your blog and a great many others thanks to the Top 25 Faith Blogs competition run recently? And it has been a strange kind of blessing. Blogs like yours and Courtney's at Women Living Well have been calling me to read the archives every day and sign up to email notifications when a new blog is posted.



Where am I at, today? Our church traditions are lovely, but there are aspects that don't sit well and don't move me, don't inspire me to be closer to God. I almost feel that the baptism certificate is nothing more than a piece of paper signed and blessed by the church, and it's what's in my HEART that actually counts.



So, here I am, a new reader of your blog, and I was wondering if you had some suggestions for me. I am looking for a Bible study. Something I can do on my own, maybe have feedback with others online via forums or something similar.



Where I am, I have never seen a Christian bookshop to date, but am certain they exist, or there is always a way to order something through the Internet and have it shipped. I have my grandmother's Bible, which she gave to me when I turned 16, and though it is a little hard to understand, it's in good condition. I would appreciate any suggestions you might have for me. :)



Oh, the original reason for my email! In June and July, I loved your housekeeping printables. They helped to keep me on track during the day and the past 2 months I really felt like I had more time--always a good thing. One thing I noticed on August's housekeeping printable is that the "daily upkeep" list is no longer included, which I found to be very helpful. I have the tasks written down on my August printable, but was wondering maybe if you'd had much feedback. Would you consider putting them back on for September?



Wow - I didn't intend to write such an essay, but maybe it was time for me to reach out to someone. I love my husband and my children and am looking for a little bit of guidance if you have time to offer it.



Sincerely,



A New Reader







Dear New Reader,



Thank you so much for your letter. I'm blessed to hear that you are a new reader, and love that you were able to find Courtney and I online. God is good!



In regards to your baptism. You said that you almost feel that your baptism certificate is nothing more than a piece of paper signed and blessed by the church. That is correct--the certificate is nothing more than a piece of paper that will wither away in time. However, the demonstration of your faith and your obedience to God is worth so much more. Baptism is symbol of our purification from sin, as we are dead to sin, but alive through faith in Christ Jesus.



Baptism is a gift of obedience to our Lord and a witness to the world around us. The work taking place in your heart is definitely the most vital part of a baptism, but by allowing the church the honor of walking you through it, you are sharing the message with others by declaring the Lord's death and resurrection. That in itself is a beautiful thing!!

Some readers might be thinking, I'm already saved from my sin through repentance and faith in Jesus Christ, so what is the point in being baptized? The answer is simple--obedience to that faith. Jesus was sinless, but because He was obedient to The Father in every way He went down to the river to be baptized by John.

Now let's talk about Bible studies!! I have an annotated study Bible that I have found to be an incredible study in itself. I like to read a few chapters and then study the side notes and flip to the cross references. I started doing that several years ago with The Dake's Annotated Study Bible, and it's been an incredible resource for me.

Another very good study Bible is John MacArthur's. Both of these should be available at Amazon. Study Bibles however can be pricey at times. Sometimes all we have (and all that our forefathers had) is the Bible as it stands alone. But let me tell you this--it might seem difficult to understand all of the "thees" and the "thous" and the customs of the day, but the Word is so incredible that God will use it to speak directly to you. As you keep reading it gets easier and it all makes more sense. The Bible is like a jigsaw puzzle of a breath-taking image. Looking at one small part isn't quite the same as viewing the work of the artist in it's entirety. Each piece fits nicely into the next, and the more that you study it, the more you begin to see the image come to life.



For online study, I'd suggest checking out Good Morning Girls. I've heard that they will be studying 1 John for 12 weeks, this fall and it might be what you are looking for. I also have a couple of Bible studies that you can find in my table of contents that you might want to check out. But with that said, I have to add that nothing beats getting together with women in small Bible study groups at a church nearby if there are any available. I used to be involved in a group called, "Ladies Morning Out," and I have to say that those years were some of the best. We studied the word, drank coffee, and made crafts. It was a ton of fun that not only encouraged me in my faith, but also resulted in long-lasting friendships.

Another thing I would suggest is checking out some of the audio messages at "Grace to You." John Macarthur is a wise and gifted speaker. In fact I have a button to their site in my right hand sidebar. :)

Finally... the printables. Did I do that? When I changed the format of the calendar I didn't realize that I omitted the daily upkeep. I'll definitely put that back for September's print out. Thanks for the heads up!



You are loved by an almighty God,



Darlene



For comments or questions, contact me at:

darlene[at]darleneschacht.net



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Preparing to Be a Good Wife ~ and a Titus 2sday Link Up!

Young women who devote themselves to the Lord

prepare themselves for the future by gaining

wisdom first, then stepping carefully

when the time is right.





Dear Darlene,



I have a question and I think you might be able to help. I am a rising college senior, and over the summer, God has placed a desire in my heart to prepare to become the best Christian wife possible. I've felt this call before, but I've put it aside (as sinners like me often do!).



Though I have never been in a serious relationship, and am content in my singleness at the moment, I find this special burden to be very daunting yet exciting! However, I'm not sure how to prepare since marriage seems so far away from me at the moment. I know this is a tall request, but what do you suggest?

Sincerely,



Preparing to Be the Best Wife





Dear Preparing,



Let's start by taking a look at 1 Corinthians 7:32-35:

I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.

What we see from this verse is that once you are married, your interests will include meeting the needs of your husband. And all moms know from experience that once children come into the picture, our interests are even more so divided. There will be days when you barely have time for a shower.

Your aim at the present time should be that of devoting your life to the Lord.



Most young women asking this question are looking for practical advice like coupon clipping, baking pies, budgeting and housekeeping. But the truth is that your focus needs to be on the Lord at this time. Homemaking takes a far second place and there is plenty of time for that later.



You might wonder why I'm taking this angle, and I'll tell you that there's a very good reason for it. Young adults are the ones making the most important decisions of their lives. In fact between the ages of 18-25 a large percentage of men and women have already chosen their career, their spouse, and decided on whether or not they'll have children--if they haven't started a family already.



These decisions can be damaging in the long run if they aren't grounded by faith and wisdom. Many young adults are rushing into things as they follow the desires of their heart without considering God's plan for their lives.



Young women who devote themselves to the Lord prepare themselves for the future by gaining wisdom first, then stepping carefully when the time is right.



Wisdom comes from the word of God, understanding is the application of that wisdom. If you want to be a blessing both to God and to your future husband, get wisdom.

How do we get wisdom? James 1:5 tells us to ask God for it, but there are also other ways to seek it. Colossians 2:3 tells us that all of the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are hidden in the mystery of Christ. And how do we learn about Christ? We do so by studying the Bible and allowing the Spirit of God to move in our lives.

Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding. For the merchandise of it is better than the merchandise of silver, and the gain thereof than fine gold. She is more precious than rubies: and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared unto her. Length of days is in her right hand; and in her left hand riches and honour. Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to them that lay hold upon her: and happy is every one that retaineth her. ~ Proverbs 3:13-18

Read more "Brides in Training" articles: Click here

You are loved by an almighty God,



Darlene



For comments or questions, contact me at:

darlene[at]darleneschacht.net



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Today and every Tuesday, I want to invite bloggers to link-up any blog posts that will encourage women to joyfully live out their roles as wives and keepers of their homes I'm looking for posts on marriage, parenting, housekeeping, or recipes.

1. Enter the direct link from your post into the linky tool below!

2. Please link back here with the {TITUS 2}SDAYS code (below) so that other bloggers can join in too!

3. Enjoy each other's fellowship, and have fun!

<a href="http://www.time-warp-wife.blogspot.com"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyFVkPRxDXs7GaNNaxIYnodArf7CO5U9_6R11ECTIyBoo9k-X8eX06D_quh-uSInbTrPDUhzbPCKwD6OhK9qPTckQ8hUS9bTWC__AlxPJC27dOsVN0nXvjhAIJL5hbU0eqq2K42H-3TbA/s1600/Titus_2sdays_button.png" /></a>

The Power of Unfailing Love

I received a letter from a reader today that's incredibly inspiring. It illustrates the beauty of humility and grace, and the power of unfailing love...

Dear Darlene,

Just a quick note to tell you how much I got from your recent post on unity in marriage.

I loved how you described the actual meaning of argument - the need to shine. What a wonderful perspective and how true.

I was just talking about humility and grace in marriage with my dad. He drives me to work sometimes, if he has to visit a job in the downtown area where I work, and we have great conversations. He and my mother were separated for 4 years - they got back together almost two years ago. My mom was the one that left and he just waited patiently, hoping and praying that she would return to him. She did. He forgave her. They worked through their issues. My dad, during their separation, never said a word against my mother, even though, in most people's eyes, she would have deserved it.

My brothers and I went to dinner with him one night and asked him if he thought about dating. His best friend wanted to introduce him to a nice single woman from his church, and my brothers and I thought it might be nice for my dad to get out. My brother said, "Dad, it's been years. Mom moved out. She's not coming back. It's time."

I'll never forget his reaction. He looked up and studied all three of us calmly.

"Kids, I'm married. My wife is your mother. That's it."

He said he'd promised God and he had no intention of breaking that promise no matter what my mom's behavior was. He said she'd have to physically bring him a pen and leave him no choice but to sign divorce papers if that was what she wanted, but he didn't want that and he wouldn't help to move it along in any way.

No one thought she'd come back, and no one thought he'd be able to forgive her if she did. But she came back. They worked on their relationship for a year before they told us. They'd never officially divorced. My dad said he prayed every day that God would do a miracle and he had every reason to expect that he'd grant that request. He said he'd do the best he could until the miracle happened.

He told me during our conversation a few days ago that he loved her more now than before. She has said the same thing to me. It gives me such joy, because it is truly an example of how waiting through the pain is WORTH IT.

To a lesser degree, I've had to wait through some tough times in my own marriage. If I would have left, I would have missed the deeper level of love waiting for me. I get to come home every day to a man I love so much it makes my heart almost hurt. The muscle is stretched from love. I really think that God makes it that way for us - strengthens our love muscles so that they don't atrophy, ever. They're made to stay strong for each other forever, if we wait past the pain of growth that comes sometimes.

My parents are now telling their story, which I think is brave of my mom. It's so important to share our stories, so we can carry each other's burdens, and know we aren't alone.

Sincerely,

Proud of My Parents



Pure love is a rising of the sun upon a soul.
Its warmth is never ceasing, its beauty never dying,
its cycle--a never ending ring of hope.
With the dawn of each new day, love remains.
~Time-Warp Wife




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Discover The Gift of Solitude

Dear Darlene,

If I were to stay in our home with my man and my baby, I would be completely happy, but when I go out with my friends or go to our church, I feel so lost and like I don't have a friend in the world besides Jesus, my husband, and our child.

I guess I am at a stage in my life where there are a lot of changes and while I am trying to keep up, I’m not succeeding. There is obviously more to my story, but I'm sitting here crying as I type, and I finally feel like God is giving me a hope for something (though I don't even know what I've been looking for) to hang onto.

It may take me some time to read back through your blog posts, but I will try! I've signed up to receive them by email. I just felt I needed to share this with someone--you specifically. Thank you for sharing your heart and your views and your values.

Hope


Dear Hope,

I wanted to share your letter with my readers, because I suspect that a lot of women have felt the same way you do—I know that I have. Sometimes I feel like I'm all alone in this world. Even in a crowd I feel like people don't see me.

I wrote an article a while back called, “A Moment with Him,” that I'd like to encourage you to read. It's about a day when I drove, and I cried, and I wiped tears away from my face. I was lonely, but in that moment of isolation I felt God’s gentle whisper as He said, “I want to spend this time with you.”

That’s when I realized this time that we see as abandonment from the world is often a gift that goes unnoticed, until life slows down and we have a chance to look back. Not a wound waiting to be healed. Not a space needing to be filled--a gift of time spent alone with our Lord.

Language has created the word “loneliness”
to express the pain of being alone.
And it has created the word “solitude”
to express the glory of being alone.
~ Paul Tillich

Perhaps that's what's happening to you. Could it be that God is allowing this trial for a purpose? Maybe it's so that you dedicate your time to being the best mom and wife you can be. Maybe it's so that you step deeper into a relationship with God. Or maybe He is emptying your life for something greater than either you or I could imagine...

I don’t know the mind of God, but I do know that our cups can't be filled until they are empty. Empty of all this world has to offer. Use this time of solitude to trust--enjoy your family and rejoice knowing that He has more for you than you could ever hope for yourself.

Fear thou not; for I am with thee:
be not dismayed; for I am thy God:
I will strengthen thee; yea,
I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee
with the right hand of my righteousness.
~ Isaiah 41:10
A reader has also directed me to this post on the same subject that is wonderfully written and comforting for those of us who are feeling alone: When You Feel Lonely

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

For comments or questions, contact me at:
darlene[at]darleneschacht.net

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Teaching Grace

Hi Darlene,

First let me say I agree with everything I have read on your website. I love the guidance you give to have a happier home and marriage, and I have three small children of my own.

My question to you concerns older children and reflections on my past.

I’m sad to say that my dear husband and I 'slipped' from our very faithful ways while we were engaged, and I became pregnant. This resulted in a wedding six weeks later instead of five months later.

When the children are older, and I’ve raised them the best that I can, how can I say if they ask, “Yes, this is what we did, and we repented. You weren’t the mistake but the result of that mistake, and we love you, but don’t want you to go down the same path?”

Because it was so hard on us, in the home and in the church, I would never wish it on anyone and want my kids to be stronger than I was. I can do my best when they are small and hope that’s enough but I just wondered what your thoughts are.

Yours,

Walking strait again, for me and my babies

Dear Walking Strait,

Thank you for your letter and your kindness. I love that you have a zeal for raising your children well, and I’m excited to see how these seeds you are growing will flourish.

The first thing I’d say is that there isn’t any need to tell them until they get to the age where they figure it out and start asking questions. What you and your husband have done is between you and God, and no one else needs to be the wiser. Nevertheless, in most cases, the children start doing the math and once they put two and two together the light bulb goes off, and you may be questioned.

An important lesson that we need to teach our children is grace, and when you answer their questions, you’ll have the opportunity to share that message with them. Grace cannot be understood by those who haven’t learned the gravity of sin. Mingling grace with sin is like trying to teach the concept of light without the knowledge of dark.

Therefore, the more that we teach our children to obey the Word of God and the clear difference between right and wrong, the greater chance they have in understanding the goodness of God.

While you may be tempted to soften the blow by saying, "We made a mistake," or "We slipped up,” it’s important that you clearly point out that your disobedience to God was sin—nothing less. Not that you were a terrible person, or that you’d love your children any less if they were in your shoes, but that defying God’s law is sin, and that our actions have consequences.

On one hand parents want to candy coat things so that their kids get the idea that they were conceived in love, blah, blah, blah… but the bottom line is that YOU had nothing to do with conception—God did. He is directly responsible for life.

Children aren't conceived through sin, or by the outstanding track records of the righteous. They are conceived by the loving grace of God who breathes life into each soul. That's what makes them special, and that's what makes them matter in this world.

For thou hast possessed my reins:
thou hast covered me in my mother's womb.
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully
and wonderfully made: marvellous are
thy works; and that my soul knoweth
right well.
My substance was not hid from thee,
when I was made in secret, and curiously
wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
~ Psalm 139:13-15, KJV


I pray that your deep understanding and acceptance of grace by the Holy Spirit will provide you with the words when the timing is right.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

For comments or questions, contact me at:
darlene[at]darleneschacht.net

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Limiting Family Size?

Dear Darlene,

I truly enjoy reading your blog. I feel that I can learn a lot from your blog. I am a young wife (23) and mother of two ages 5 and 2. I am going through my life and weeding out beliefs that I feel I've been pressured into by my family and society. And I would love to know your opinion on “limiting family size."

My husband and I love our two beautiful children, and are not currently trying. However if God was to bless us with more whenever He saw fit, we would gladly welcome the blessing. But I cannot help but feel that maybe I'm being naive by not using birth control. I have more faith in the Lord than a piece of latex or man-made medications.

But at the same time my mother said that the Lord gave the inventors of such things the knowledge to invent them. My mother only had two children. I know that children are expensive and require attention love and training. I also know that the Lord will give me whatever and whenever He sees fit, and that goes for all blessing in my life not just children. Am I naive for not actively trying to conceive? Or not trying to avoid conceiving?

P.S. I could not find in your blog if you have addressed this before, I apologize if I missed it.

Sincerely,

My faith is stronger (than latex)



Dear Faith,

Before I give my thoughts on this topic I pray that I won’t sway any readers from following their conscience or understanding of scripture on the topic. Above anything else, please pray about it and continue to seek God’s will for your family.

First and foremost, let’s not minimize what the Bible says, as it’s very important that we believe and adhere to what the scriptures say. We are told that children are a blessing and a gift from the Lord.


Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD:
and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man;
so are children of the youth. Happy is the
man that hath his quiver full of them:
they shall not be ashamed, but they shall
speak with the enemies in the gate.
~ Psalm 127:3-5


However, there are certain circumstances through which parents may choose that having another child isn’t the best decision for their family. For example, I’ve had five miscarriages, and with each of my pregnancies we had difficulties.

When I was pregnant for the ninth time, I was told by the doctors that Nathaniel’s kidneys were severely enlarged and that it was unlikely that he would survive, if he even made it to term. I already had a sick baby at home, and the life of my unborn child was threatened. Overcome with stress and grief, we decided that Nathaniel would be our last child. He was born healthy--all praise to God!--but that's a whole other story.

In addition to the constant turmoil, having four c-sections had thinned the walls of my uterus, which made having any more children dangerous for us. So taking everything into consideration, we pulled back the reigns.

I’d love nothing more than to have 18 kids like my grandma did, but unfortunately it wasn’t the direction by which we felt led. There’s always the “shoulda, woulda, coulda,” that I have to deal with, but at the same time I’m content knowing that God allowed me to choose.

And you are right, children are expensive—very expensive--and require attention, love and training. But there are so many things that most children today can do without: hockey, ballet, swimming pools, trampolines, laptops, motorized cars, guitar lessons, Xboxes, fast food, and $95 shoes. Happy are those who find their delight in the Lord!

Unfortunately many parents in our society are choosing more “stuff” over more children, and as a result they are missing out on a blessing. You can always get more “stuff” when you’re older, but there comes a time in every woman’s life when she’s finished bearing children. At that point, there’s no going back—she’s done.

The Bible doesn't prohibit birth control, but as with all areas of our lives we need to consider our choices to ensure that our decisions aren’t based on a lust for this world, but rather a pursuit of our Lord.

I’m probably not familiar with many of the modern methods of birth control. However, based on scripture I do know that abortion is not an option. Neither is anything that destroys a developing fetus or a fertilized egg. Preventing a pregnancy and destroying life are two very different things.

I realize that I have gone into more detail on this subject than you asked, but in answering your question, I wanted to ensure that I gave a thorough answer to others who may also come across this article. Human life is a precious thing that is not to be taken lightly.

I don’t think that you are naïve, and I applaud you for trusting God’s plan for your family.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

For comments or questions, contact me at:
darlene[at]darleneschacht.net

P.S. To those who have sent me letters and haven't received a reply, I just wanted you to know that I have received your email and your words are often on my mind. Thank you for trusting me with your heart. Unfortunately I don't have time to reply to all of your questions, but I pray that I will get to many of them as God permits time and wisdom.

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Ready and Prepared for His Use

And a Titus 2sday Link Up!

My beloved spake, and said unto me,
Rise up, my love, my fair one,
and come away.
~ Song of Solomon 2:10, KJV


Dear Darlene

I just found your blog this morning, and enjoying (and learning much from) everything I have read so far. You are a very wise and blessed woman. I would like to ask your insight on something I am trying to figure out.

A little background about myself: I am 18-years-old, I am in college, living at home with my parents, and I am preparing to transfer to a 4-year college to study bible/theology and counseling/psychology.

Recently, I have found myself very interested in learning about what biblical femininity and biblical womanhood really is (a subject that our present culture neglects and discourages quite a bit). I am learning about compassion, godliness, and essentially servant-hood. When I read blogs, articles, the Bible, etc on the subject of what a woman is and what her role in society is--the discussion and teaching is directed towards what a woman should do, and how they should live "as a wife and a mother."

This is where I am confused. I am somewhat at a loss regarding what my role as a Christian woman is right now...and how I can be a "biblical servant" to God and others in my life. So essentially, my question is, what are a young single woman's roles, and what can she do for God and others on a daily basis?

Your insight and advice would be greatly appreciated!

Single Servant



Dear Single Servant,

Thank you for your letter. Humbled and grateful for your encouragement. God is a wise and caring teacher, while I am a servant blessed by His incomparable grace.

I was prayerfully considering your thoughts for a couple of days, when a word came to me unexpectedly.

I received a comment from a single man. This is what he said, “I don’t have a bride – I do have the other side of me… The only way to get the one side to give way to the other is choose which way to live – and live it.”

While my blog speaks to an audience that is primarily women, and of those, many stay-at-home moms, the Biblical principles can be gleaned by everyone.

For example, I often talk about submission, and how wives are instructed to be submissive to their husbands. In much the same way, those who are single must live in submission to Christ. It’s like a traditional marriage in many ways, except rather than having a man in your life, you are the bride of an infallible groom.

In fact the Bible refers to the church as His bride. Wives were created to be their husband’s help meet, and the church—male and female, single and married--is created to honor Christ and be “meet”(ready and prepared) for His use.


If a man therefore purge himself from
these [work of iniquity], he shall be a vessel
unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master's
use, and prepared unto every good work.
~ 2 Timothy 2:21, KJV


In this relationship there are no petty arguments to deal with, He doesn’t have bad habits that you need to accept, and he’s never in a foul mood. As His betrothed, you are to honor Him with your words and your life, so that His Word is not maligned.

Read this verse again with that in mind.


“To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home,
good, obedient to their own husbands,
that the word of God be not blasphemed.
~ Titus 2:5


Further to submission, we need to realize that our body envelopes the Spirit and flesh, which are constantly at war with one another—both sides want to lead. Those who belong to Christ, as His bride, allow Him to rule in their life, which means that the flesh must be in submission to the Spirit.


That he might present it to himself
a glorious church, not having spot,
or wrinkle, or any such thing; but
that it should be holy
and without blemish.
~ Ephesians 5:27


Biblical womanhood could be summed up in two words: Biblical Living. That encompasses all women, married and single alike.

In 1 Corinthians 7:7-8, Paul is talking about being single when he says, “I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.”

And so we see that being single is a blessing that should not be overlooked. Embrace this gift while you have it.


For thy Maker is thine husband;
the LORD of hosts is his name;
and thy Redeemer the Holy One of
Israel; The God of the whole
earth shall he be called.
~ Isaiah 54:5, KJV


Marriage is merely a shadow of the divine union between Jesus Christ and His holy spotless bride. Your role is to have an intimate relationship with the Lord being both ready and prepared for His use.

I pray that these thoughts encourage you.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

For comments or questions, contact me at:
darlene[at]darleneschacht.net

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Today and every Tuesday, I want to invite bloggers to link-up any blog posts that will encourage women to joyfully live out their roles as wives and keepers of their homes I'm looking for posts on marriage, parenting, housekeeping, or recipes.

All you have to do is enter the direct link from your post into the linky tool below!

I'd also like to ask you to link back here with the {TITUS 2}SDAYS code (below) so that other bloggers can join in too!

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