How I Got Over The Agony Of Infidelity.....Part 2

How did I manage to get myself through all the pain of infidelity? Well, first of all, you have to be able to get past the part of the initial shock that your spouse would ever even think of cheating on you. That initial shock might take a long time, and maybe longer than you want, but honestly, some people can get through it faster than others. For me, it seemed like it took forever. I was very much in love with my husband and I didn't ever think that we had any really big or deep problems. We, in fact, used to get along extremely well, but little did I know, at some point in our marriage, he must have decided that "we" weren't as happy as I thought. I wanted to make his cheating stop. I checked his cell phone, and not only because I was suspicious, but because I ran his self-employed business and did all the paperwork, and answered most the calls. I wasn't expecting to hear his "other woman" being as intimate as she was. Actually, his infidelity hit me like a ton of bricks....only when I confronted him, his denial was very strong. I wanted to believe him, and so I did.....but I shouldn't have. They say a woman's intuition is right  most of the time.  And I should have believed in myself, but I let him tear my doubts down.....BIG mistake on my part.  ...................to be continued.

Do You Wallow In Self Pity?

During the times that I was suspecting my husband's cheating, I wanted to explode. I got mad, but I never got even. I wanted to make all the bad things go away. After we split up, I found myself wallowing in self pity. I felt sorry for myself that I had no partner anymore. I felt bad that I was the one having to pay all the bills by myself. I didn't have a big paying job and I just wanted to run away from it all, but I couldn't. I know that I deserved to be loved by somebody, and not someone who wanted more than just me. I knew that I deserved better in life. I didn't feel as though my wallowing about that was a problem. My problem came much later, as I tried pulling myself up into normalcy once again and it was hard. It wasn't just a little hard, it was horrific. I started finding things to be upset about, such as my weight, my job and where I was living. I had to take a stand before I was going to get out of that mess. It took bravery and courage, but finally, I brought myself out of the weepy eyed tears and allowed myself to get back on track to real life once again. Everyone goes through a period of mourning after divorce and each one of us takes a different time table as to when we are going to make ourselves strong again and get on with life. Don't worry if you feel as though you are taking a long time with it, because everyone has to deal with those issues in their own timing. Give yourself credit for the things that you HAVE done.

It Was All Over But The Cryin!

That must have been what he thought when I told him that I was divorcing him. He had carried on for such a long time the day that I found him coming out of her apartment with her after he had been in there for over an hour was the straw that broke the camels back for me. I had suffered with many years of his name calling, treating me like I was nothing and what's worse, is that I trusted him. I never thought he would ever cheat. One day out of the blue, an old friend asked me when we had gotten divorced, but at that time, we were still together. She spoke about how she and her family had seen him numerous times in someone else's apartment and thought that he was now with someone else. I didn't want to believe her. She didn't tell me to hurt me. She was only asking. I decided to go and find her in those apartments one morning to ask her more. Why would she even think we were divorced? I ran into his van, parked by an apartment and I started shaking. He had told me that morning that he would be in another city working and I just couldn't believe it. When I got home, I was so panicked that I packed all my things and left. He called me over and over once he found out. He didn't want to see what he had done to me, only that I had left him. It was all over and it was his turn to cry

Oh How Those Tears Flow So Quickly

I had been through so much with this man. He was supposed to be my "knight in shining armour". my "hunny-bunn", my everything. I married this man with the intentions of being with him for the rest of my life. I actually did not marry him for quite awhile after we dated. I just wanted to be sure before I jumped in for "til death do us part" and I never expected to see the day coming when I "wasn't" his everything. My tears came out so quickly, so much so, that I thought that I was going to create a new river. My heart had ached at all that he had put me through. So, why did I stay? Was it for a hope and a promise of things getting better? Did I rationalize in my mind that he would actually care enough to love me and be true to me? I don't know. Perhaps it was just me, hanging on to the fact that we did have a family and we had been together for a very long time. I cried so much over his infidelity that I thought that I would never be the same again. I felt like I would never ever be happy again.

Too Much To Ask For....

Little ole me? Asking him to give her up? Sure, it was a stretch, but why would he? Maybe he thought that he could have us both? I think not !!! It was a horrible thing to think....but yet, I didn't seem to have any control over it....or did I ? I didn't think so, but to be quite honest, I could have controlled MY side of things. I could have walked out of the situation.....but just couldn't pick up my things and run AGAIN. I had already done that once and I didn't want to do it again. Why did he make things so hard for "us"? Was there an "us" anymore? I pondered in my head what my next move would be and just found myself so upset that I couldn't do anything....anything but cry, of course. He was my love. He was my daughter's daddy. I was so upset and confused over all of this mess that I was trying to find myself. I guess it was too much to ask for, him giving up the other woman.

I went crazy wild over finding his infidelity

Going crazy is what I did, or so I thought. I became so distraught that I didn't even give him a chance to come home. I immediately packed my things and out I went. This so happened on a Friday so I had the whole weekend to think things over. But I didn't. I stayed away and filed for divorce. I couldn't take it just knowing that he had been with someone else. The lies were too much for me. However, looking back on this, I wonder if I really did the right thing by scooping up my things and leaving without any words. At this time in my life, I was going through an early menopause and my mind was racing with the thoughts of another woman invading our space. He called me later to try and talk things out, but I just didn't budge.....not realizing that later I would actually come back and try to work things out. I wasn't ready to face the fact that he would do THIS to me. I was too upset to think about my moving out on him, too upset to try and make things work....too upset to do anything but cry. And cry I did so much to the point that I felt like time stood still.