What's a Girl to Think?

As time went on, I found silly reasons to get inside his van... my curiosity had gotten the better of me I'm afraid. Well, I am only human here. He was hiding money and I wanted to know if it was still happening. Sure enough, it was. Sometimes there would be lots of money, sometimes not. Now, just in case you are wondering, he's wasn't a smoker, and he quit drinking a long time ago. This man was extremely picky about what he ate, so what was going on? I look to see what else is there, in plain view.....and guess what I found? I found men's colognes... not only 1 bottle, but 2. One was very cheap, like from the dollar store and then I found a more expensive one. I hated to question him about it, so one day when he had me get something out of the van for him, I asked him where did it come from.....and to my suprize, he answered me. It was from a client. What do you think about that? A nearly $50 cologne came from a client. Why would a client, even a regular one, give him such an expensive gift?

Hidden money

So, when you ask those questions and get no answers I guess it means that they don't want to deal with you or with what's going on. To this very day, I still don't know why he was hiding money in his van. And this became frequent as time went on. He did not allow me to ride in the van with him very often. We always had to go places (which was rare we went together) in my car. There were times that I had to get into the van, and I found money stuck in all kinds of places. What was this for? I STILL got no answers. Sounds a little funny to me, that there would be $20's and $100's stuck in various hidden places in his vehicle.

A Discovery in our old Van

The credit reports were all squeaky clean, except for this one particular credit card.....one that he SUPPOSEDLY opened up while we were together. I again questioned him about it and he told me that he did NOT open up that card. So, where did it come from? I was puzzled. I wanted to believe him but it was hard. Anyways, as far as getting that van, he did. He had to come home early that day and clean out the old one, as he was trading it in. Things went well with the transactions. We drove away from there with the newer one. It sure was pretty. However, the next day, while I was at work, he called me. Wow, he doesn't call often, unless he wants me to do something for him, so I surely knew something was up. Sure enough, it was. He told me that I had to call the dealership up and tell them that he forgot something out of the old van. So, we went up there--an hour drive one way, to get this "something" out of the old van. I was wondering what could it be? Well, he would not tell me what it was, until we got there. Much to my suprize, he started taking the front piece of the floor off, in the middle of the seats, and he pulled out a $100. bill. Oh my goodness. I was wondering what was going on here. Had he been hiding money from me? Money that we needed to pay bills, to buy groceries and to keep the household running? I was very upset. I questioned him and he told me that he just forgot that he left it there. I was very hurt, and of course, he wasn't talking.

Keeping a Secret

I kept this letter under wraps.. I just couldn't see telling him about it because I knew that he would deny it. You are probably wondering how he could deny "an actual letter right in your hands", but believe me, this man, he learned how to deny and lie to the best of his ability, almost believing his lies himself. But then, I had her address too. wow. She was in another town, but very close, too close if you ask me. So, I suffered in silence, all but my parents knowing. He went on about his daily thing, working and coming in as he pleased, leaving the same way. Day by day went on this way. At every opportunity, I did check the numbers on his phone and it was getting to where I was beginning to have a pretty good size log. I kept a roladex on his customers numbers and was able to determine most of them, but there were still numbers coming in from "HER" area code. I was busting at the seams. What could I do? What should I do? I was terribly confused and torn by this man, a man who told me he loved me and wanted our family to be together. A man who was a great working man, very clean, kept his dirty clothing in the hampers, a man who seemed so polite to everyone.....but he was really tearing me apart.