Do You Blame Yourself For His Cheating?

When I discovered my husband's cheating, I felt so alone....but I knew I wasn't alone. There are many women/men finding out about their partner's cheating every single day. The one thing I knew, was that I really tried my hardest to make things work with us. But honestly, I did have my moments of doubt. After things started to drag out with my questions and with no answers, I started wondering if I was the one who drove him to it. His cheating left me feeling like I was second choice. I felt like my self esteem went right out the window. I examined the angles of everything and soon discovered that it wasn't my fault at all. I did not step out behind him when ever we had problems. It was his choice to cross over the line of what was right and wrong. He is the one who chose to be with another woman. I came to this conclusion after much thought about our marriage and life together. Don't blame yourself for something that your partner did.....you cannot control the actions of anyone else.

Don't Blame Yourself For Your Partner's Cheating

How do you stop "beating yourself up" over being cheated on? I will be the first one to tell you, it hurts like nothing else. You go over and over in your mind so many questions about why, how, and who, that you might even start to doubt yourself. You question yourself so much and you wonder if it's your fault. Sometimes your spouse will even tell you that it IS your fault, but to be honest, it's NOT. You are responsible for your actions and he is responsible for his. You didn't drag him out and make him go with someone else. You didn't tell him to be sneaking around, and you certainly didn't tell him to make sneaking phone calls or spend all his time with someone else. So, why, do you ask, did this happen to you? Well, this is happening to many people right now and it's also something that YOU did not do. Do not take the blame for your partner's cheating. It is something within themselves that made them do this. Seek someone to talk to about this, someone that you trust and will help you to see that it's not your fault. Just having someone to listen to you helps so much more than you know. Lastly, do not accept the blame for what another person does.

The Blame Rested Upon His Shoulders

So, do I stand up and fight for my man? Or was it useless and time to move on? I had been through so much with this man, that I couldn't hardly stand the sight of him. But why did I love him so? I tended to look at myself for blame, when in fact, the real blame rested upon his shoulders. I can honestly say that I had been a good housewife....I worked, paid my share of the bills for the house and utilities, I took care of our daughter, kept the laundry and house clean, and was always there for him when he needed me. I can't understand why this had to keep happening over and over again. It HAD to be something within him. So, if he wanted to be with me, then why couldn't he just do that? Was I missing something here, or would we never be together again?