She Watches Over the Affairs of Her Household

Has there ever been better direction for time-management than that which comes from, Proverbs 31? I'm reminded of one popular rule in dieting, "Don't waste calories by diving into the bread basket." Here, the same rings true about life:

She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. ~ Proverbs 31:27, KJV

My job as a keeper of the home is to watch over the affairs of my household. This means that I need to engage myself in the home, watching over the affairs of each and every person therein. Where are my children? What video games are they playing? What books are they reading? Who are their friends? Is anything troubling my husband?

These are a few of the things we notice when we're actively involved with the family. With one look my husband can tell when something is bothering me, and I can tell in a split-second when Nathaniel is guilty about something. The more face-time (and I'm not talking about iPhones here) I have with these people the more I'll understand their needs and how fulfill them.

The thing is, moms are busy. There's no doubt about it, but yet I see some incredible moms who manage their house well, raise God-fearing children, have a great marriage, and still find time to write books, take classes, run small businesses, or work outside the home--the Proverbs 31 woman was a prime example of that. But how is it possible for anyone of us to do it all and still be engaged with the family?

It isn't. There isn't one of us who can do "it all," but we can manage to get a lot done when we put our affairs in order. That's where the second part of this verse comes in when it talks about eating the bread of idleness.

Consider the old saying, "There's a place for everything, when everything is in its place." While that's true, I'll also add this, there is no place for anything when junk is in it's place. I can't find the space to put my bath towels when my hall closet is packed with sewing supplies dating back as far as 1992. I can't find room for soup ladles in a drawer that's accumulated broken and useless utensils for the past 23 years.

We can visualize this problem when it comes to the drawers and closets in our home because the stuff eventually starts to fall out, but it's a little harder to see when we're talking about the closets and drawers of our life. What I mean by this is that the storage spaces we refer to as "time" tend to fill up with phone calls, watching television, browsing the internet, hanging out our friends, being over-committed, sitting out in the sun, over sleeping, and the like.

Any one of those things are okay, but just like anything else, they can add up to cramped spaces. The question to ask yourself is what is most valuable to you? Prioritize faith and family first-- the rest will fall into place. Be willing to shed some "idle bread" and you'll free up valuable space in your life.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

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17 Things You Can Do Today to Make Your Life Easier Tomorrow

We all know from experience what procrastination can do to our lives. If left unchecked, it can make us late, unorganized, stressed out, embarrassed, overtired, broke, and hungry. I know this because I've experienced these symptoms myself.

Take this morning for example. I was trying to get the kids ready for school when I remembered that I had some important paperwork to take care of. It was already over-due, and it had to be done immediately. So I delayed my shower and sat at the dining room table filling out forms that had passed through my hands several times during the past few weeks. Any number of those times I could have sat down and got the papers in order, but because it was something I dislike taking care of I chose to put it off until the very last minute. As a result, I was thirty minutes late for an appointment that was on my calendar a week ago.

If you're a procrastinator have no fear there's an anecdote for all of us--it's called being proactive. "Pro-action" as I like to call it, is preparing for things before they cause us to react. One example would be washing underwear before you run out--that's always wise! Another might be picking up shampoo when you start running low. Those are are just two examples of proactive things that most of us do on a regular basis without really thinking about it.

If you start to look around, you'll probably see things that you would be better off taking care of now than leaving it for later. In fact you'd probably find several. Before you run off and start doing them--I'll also offer you a list of my own. Here are 17 things that we can do today to make our lives easier tomorrow: 

1. Pray. Women often waste time over-discussing our problems when going to prayer with them is far more effective.
2. Make a double portion of your meal and freeze half for another day.
3. Make school lunches for the next day while you’re cooking dinner. (An idea I got from a reader!)
4. Clean out your purse and organize it.
5. Clean out a junk drawer so you can find things easier.
6. Empty the dishwasher before going to bed.
7. Grab garbage every time you leave your car.
8. Pick up small containers to use for organizing and storage. How many times do you clean up loose items in the pantry like crackers or pasta? Storing them in small containers will save you time and keep them fresh.
9. Make amends where you can.
10. Take care of a difficult or annoying task that you normally put off. Get it over with today and you'll feel a weight off your shoulder tomorrow.
11. Pay your bills before they are due.
12. Eat well so you'll have energy tomorrow.
13. Never handle a piece of paper twice. Remember what I did this morning?  Paper work is a huge time-waster. Every single time that paper went through my hands I wasted time with it. Open your bills and pay them immediately. Have school notes? Grab a pen, sign them and put them in your child's backpack.
14. Go to sleep early so you feel refreshed and productive the next day.
15. Cut veggies up and store them in the fridge so you have healthy snacks on hand. Wash fruit and keep it out on the counter.
16. Fill bottles of water so you can grab one on the run. 
17. Take the time to train your children to do a task right. Even if it means standing beside them when they make their bed for the first several times. Having them learn to do it correctly will save you all time in the long run.
    

Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might. ~ Ecclesiastes 9:10a, NIV

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

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Daily Planner Printables!!

I have created some daily printables that you can print off and use. (I'm starting mine today!) Each one has the monthly calendar at a glance, and the following sections to write in:

• To Do's - Things you need to do today
• Hope To Do's - Additional things you'd like to do if time permits
• Prayer Requests 
• Reminders 
• Bible Reading - What you plan to read in the Bible or a verse that comes to mind
• Groceries
• Thinking Ahead - Goals or future commitments
• People to Call

And if you haven't checked it out yet, take a look at my weekly housekeeping schedule. It's a great way to get the house clean and keep it looking that way!

If you would like to view or download the printables for December and January,
just click the links below the image. (Originals are full-sized pages)

December 2011 Daily Planner - Click Here

January 2012 Daily Planner - Click Here

If you are an email subscriber, and have trouble viewing the links, click through to the website at: Time-Warp Wife.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

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Scatterbrained to Focused

By Weekly Contributor, Kim Brenneman, Large Family Logistics

As much as I’ve studied and practiced organization, self-discipline, and planning, some mornings my home looks like this: dishes need washing, the laundry needs to be started, someone wants to be fed, my desk has a stack of stuff, I really should exercise, two phone calls need to be returned, there’s a meeting tonight I need to prepare for, children need to be redirected from running circles in a chase game, and… anxiety can begin to rise up in me. I become scatterbrained. It’s time for some focus.

First up is identifying why the home is in this situation at the moment. Identifying the problem is a large part of the solution! I’ll give you a short list of what puts me in this frame and perhaps you can identify with some of it.

• Being spread too thin, over-committed myself and/or my family
• A busy weekend preceding a Monday
• Too much sugar and refined foods for my children resulting in hyperactivity, rough housing
• Family members not doing what they were delegated to do
• Not sticking with a plan
• Not having a plan
• Disruption and excitement caused by a family member coming home and disrupting routine

Next step is to delegate and follow up with each delegated person to be sure that the work gets done. “Many hands make light work.” I don’t have to do it all myself. Saturday I had my preschoolers wipe the yucky stuff off the front of the dishwasher, the refrigerator and spot mop the floor with simply a wet rag.

Perfectionism is not for busy moms. Big kids can be very helpful; it builds skills, responsibility, and gives them an important purpose in the economy of the family home! Remember to give lots of thanks, praise, and encouraging words.

After delegating, decide that some things just don’t need to be done right now--or ever. What is getting in the way of the life of your family? Adjust your priorities so that the important things get done and the rest can be let go. Get yourself off of committees, out of clubs, quit that business, whatever it is that gets in the way of being the best wife and mom you can be. Yes, God has given each of us gifts and talents that we should use to glorify Him. But He has also given us families. If the way that you are using your unique gift is disruptive to your first priorities then perhaps the use of your gift needs to be changed to a different method and/or put off to a later time in life. Sometimes things creep up on us and we don’t realize that something requires as much time as it does until we are in it. Learn to say no. I read once that each time we say yes to something, we are saying no to our family life. I have found this to be true in my life. Decide what is beneficial to your family and build your life around those things.

Once you’ve delegated and made decisions, set boundaries for your family. There was a time in our life when my husband worked a lot of hours and in certain seasons travelled a lot. We were involved in a small church group one night a week, another night of the week the children went to a church program, in the winter the boys were involved in a sports program that had practices another night of the week. This didn’t happen all at once, it crept up and eventually we saw that all these good things were detrimental to our home life and we slowly cut out all these activities. We made a policy that when dad was home, we were home. We could do extra-curricular things when he was away from home. We also made a decision at one point in time that we would only do winter sports because my husband travelled a lot in spring, summer, and fall. Eventually we decided that sports separated our family too much in the little time we had together. Every family is unique and must be thoughtful and deliberate about the things to be involved in. Setting boundaries that protect the family unit is important for the health of our marriages and our children.

After setting boundaries, put your focus on the details of the home. What do you want your home-life to look like? Get a good visual of what breakfast will look like, then lunch and supper. What about the evenings? The early mornings? The late afternoon? Think about these things and then make steps to change them to be beneficial to your family. When everyone knows what is happening and when it is happening and what is expected of them things go much more smoothly. Then, when disruptions and interruptions happen, it’s easier to get back on track. Make the hours of your day beneficial to your family not just a haphazard affair.

Who are you in the home? How do you see yourself? Identify your weaknesses and spend some time with God and getting right with Him. Repent and make a detailed effort to change from that. Study the Bible concerning your weakness. Do it at a certain time every day, perhaps during the children’s nap/quiet time. Make it a habit. Memorize scripture that emphasize the positive side of the character trait—do you speak unkindly to your children? Memorize verses about kindness. Are you short-tempered? Memorize verses about being patient.

Life seems to run in cycles just like the seasons. Things go smoothly for awhile and then little changes add up until we need to stop and readjust. Set aside some time today for quiet, some tea and to give your life some focus.

Blessings,

Kim Brenneman

Kim is the joyful wife of Matt and the blessed mother of nine children.

When not busy homeschooling and farmschooling, she enjoys writing, gardening, cooking, reading, sewing, and crafting.

Kim lives on a farm in Iowa where her family grows beef cattle, corn and beans, and operates a micro-dairy selling cheese at farmer’s markets. She loves to write and speak about her passion for home and family. She is the author of Large Family Logistics: The Art and Science of Managing the Large Family. She blogs about the same subject at:
http://largefamilylogistics.blogspot.com.

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In participation with:
Women Living Well Wednesdays
Raising Homemakers
Making a Home
Works for Me Wednesdays
The Mommy Club

And:

5 Questions to Ask When Making Decisions

It's September which means that all of the clubs, the cell groups, the Sunday School classes and the regular programming starts up at church. This is the season when "sign-up sheet at the back" is used at the end of every paragraph in every church in every city around the world. It's also a time that I enjoy because I get to choose what new things I'll be involved in.

Cell groups... Sunday school... Church camp... Women's Conferences... Teaching... Leading... Speaking... Cooking... Helping... Which activities do I choose, and which ones do I step back from?

To be honest, I'm the kind of person that wants to sign my name on every page. I'd love to be involved and sometimes I wish there were ten of me to go around.

Michael on the other hand wisely steps back and says, "Maybe we should think about this, Darlene," because he knows that there aren't ten of me. In fact with four kids, there's barely one of me some days.

Sometimes I get so caught up in the thrill of opportunity that I forget to take my ideas to God. Bad move. After all isn't He the one who knows my agenda better than anyone else?

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” ~James 4:13-15, NIV

Looking at that verse, I don’t believe that James is discouraging us from planning for the future. What he's encouraging us to do is to put our will in the hands of God, boast in Him alone, and follow His lead.

But how can we possibly know God’s will for our lives if we don’t take things to Him in prayer? If we don’t read the Word? We won't, unless something stands in our way.

I’m reminded of Balaam in Numbers chapter 22. God clearly instructed Balaam not to go to the Israelites, but after being enticed to do so he sets off on his journey to curse them. When his donkey saw the angel of the Lord standing in their path with a sword drawn in his hand, the donkey turned away and refused to go forward. After being punished by Balaam, the donkey turned another way, but the angel of the Lord stood in his path yet again. Penned in, the donkey threw herself against the wall, crushing Balaam’s foot.

Finally with no way left to turn, the donkey fell down, and the Bible tells us that Balaam’s anger was kindled so that he struck the animal with his staff. That’s when God miraculously opened the mouth of the donkey who said, “What have I done unto thee, that thou hast smitten me these three times?

Have you ever been in situations where you set out to do something and there’s a barricade at every turn? Sometimes this means that we need to press on and overcome those obstacles, but there are times when God has no other choice than to protect us from the choices we’ve made.

The question is how do we know if we’re following God’s will or following our own?

When faced with important decisions the first question we need to ask is, Will this be pleasing to God? In Balaam’s situation it was crystal clear that God had instructed him not to go. In the same way, when we are making decisions many of the answers might be clearly spelled out in scripture. By developing good Bible study habits we learn those principles and draw from them when we have decisions to make.

A prayer life is also important as it leads us to bring our concerns to the Lord and allows Him to speak to our hearts. There will be times when the answer comes to us in a miraculous way such as a word of encouragement from a prayer buddy, but often times God will speak to your conscience, and when He does you’ll have a sense of peace about the choice that you make.

You might say to yourself, "Well of course, teaching Sunday School is God's will--that's a no-brainer!" But the real question is this, Is it God's will for you?

Finally, if your desire is in line with the will of God, but you are still unsure if it’s the best thing to do, then dig a little deeper and ask yourself these five questions:

1. If I take this on am I spreading myself too thin?
   
   
2. Will this distract me from serving the Lord or will it encourage my walk?
   
   
3. Will it take too much time away from my key priorities such as my husband and my children? Or is it a comfortable fit?
   
   
4. What is the purpose of me doing this?
   
   
5. Is this decision one that would glorify God?

Asking these questions might help give you clarification and a new sense of focus.

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

For comments or questions, contact me at:
darlene[at]darleneschacht.net

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