Who Needs Him Most?

Guest Contributor, Gina Smith, Keepin' it Real

The other day I saw an advertisement that read, "Become a Christian counselor and bring Christ to those who need Him most!"

Under the add was a picture of a man; he was dirty and dressed in rags. As I stared at the add, the thought came to me: "...to those who need him most??? As if some need Him more than others?"


At times it can seem that there's an unspoken rule in Christian circles that says we need to go feed the homeless, work in an orphanage in another country, minister to the homosexual community, or reach out to drug addicts, and if we have done that, we have reached out to those who have the biggest needs. We've stepped out of our "comfort zone."

Who needs Him most?
But really...who is more needful? The wealthy man who lives in a mansion and wears the designer suit, or the man who lives on the street and wears rags? The orphan in a foreign country, or the child sleeping in my own home? The devoted family-man who is living for his next pay check, or the substance abuser who is living for his next paycheck?

And who deserves the most recognition in the church? The person who feeds the homeless and shares the gospel, or the person who meets the wealthy man for dinner and shares the gospel? The person who raises support and spends the summer changing diapers in an orphanage, or the mother who spends her days changing diapers in her home? The person who reaches out to the family man at work and offers him "living water," or the person who reaches out to the drug addict and offers him "living water"...(John 4)?

"Comfort" zone?
Is it "comfortable" or "easy" to share the gospel in any of these situations? Is it really ever EASY to share the gospel? Is the homeless man more receptive than the wealthy man? The orphan more receptive than my own child? The family man more receptive than the homosexual? Shouldn't we be purposefully stepping out of our comfort zone?

Maybe it's a little simpler than we make it...
What I am finding is this: I wake up and step out. That's it. It is never easy or comfortable! God prepares hearts. God directs my steps. As I rely on Him, God gives me words to say. God gives assignments for each day. He asks me to meet needs in many different ways. I look to Him and offer Him my day, my comfort, my ease. The mission might be different each day, or it might stay the same for long periods of time. It might mean I go on a "missions" trip to another country, or it might mean I go on a "missions" trip to the mall. One day, I may have a person stop by my house who needs to be pointed to the cross. The next day, I may stop and pray in the grocery store parking lot with one of the cashiers we've befriended.

Not too long ago I found myself sitting in a clinic with a precious young friend who is being tested for HIV. This was my assignment for the day. There we sat: I, my husband, and our friend. Sobered by the consequences of sin; surrounded by young people who were all there for the same reason. All of us needful of the same thing. None of us better than another. All of us needful! Needful for Christ in our lives. Needful for a Savior. I didn't think about that place as being "out of my comfort zone" or as an opportunity for recognition. I just thought, "So THIS was my assignment today..."

If I can sit in that clinic and think that these people are more needful than I am.... If I can sit in my home and think that the person to who I'm serving coffee to is more needful than I am... If I can stand in the grocery store parking lot and think that the cashier is more needful than I am...then I don't know the truth about myself, and I don't understand the gospel.

I must view myself as a fallen sinner who has rebelled against a perfect and all-powerful Creator. That is the truth about who I am. That is the truth about all of us.

Because of this truth, we must see our need for the crucified and risen Messiah who came to earth and conquered sin and death. He is our only hope for salvation. That is the bottom line concerning every human soul.

It doesn't matter what the outside looks like: "polished and acceptable," or "dirty and unacceptable." The outside is merely a shell and a symptom of the need that is deep within every heart. We all need forgiveness. We all need a Saviour.

Whether it is at my kitchen table or at the clinic with my friend, it is a privilege to go wherever God wants me to go. I need no recognition; I am not doing anything that special. I am just doing what I have been called to do.

So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.' ~ Luke 17:10, NIV

Keepin' it Real,

Gina

Gina has been married to Brian for 23 years. Brian is a faculty member, and they both serve as deans at a Christian college. She and her family live on the college campus and work with the resident students. She has two children, Brianna (age 21) and Caleb (age 18) who are now both in college. In her spare time Gina writes and seeks to encourage women of all ages, through articles and by living life with them as much as possible! You can find her at her personal blog: "Keepin' it Real,"at "The Internet Cafe," and featured in several issues of "Best of Life" magazine.

Contact Gina through her website: Keepin' it Real

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In participation with:

The Most Important Gift ~ And a Titus 2sday Linkup!

Guest Contributor, Gina from Keepin' it Real

I love this time of year and everything about it! The tree, decorations, parties...! If you were here in person, I'd fix you hot chocolate and make it pretty with fun Christmas marshmallows or whipped cream, Christmas sprinkles, and chocolate kisses or chocolate chips! You'd hear Christmas music blaring and smell my Christmas Yankee candle burning! I try to put a lot into making this season special for my family. We emphasize the the true meaning, of course...but we also enjoy so much of the cultural holiday "stuff!"

One day we were driving in the car when my son asked, "How come WE don't have any Christmas traditions?"


Immediately my mind started to race, "I'VE FAILED MY CHILDREN!" "WHY DON'T WE HAVE TRADITIONS?" Then I stopped, thought, and asked him, "Well, what do we do each year at Christmas time?" We started to list the things we've done:

• Watching the old Christmas movies each year.
• Christmas dinner...different each year.
• Reading from the same inspirational Christmas story books each year.
• Each year the kids choose an new ornament.
• We hang up the Christmas cards we receive, and pray for each person that sends a card.
• Instead of a Christmas wreath on my front door, I hang a stocking and fill it with candy so that whoever comes to my door can have some Christmas candy!
• Some years we bake, some years...not so much!
• We love, love, love to listen to Christmas music!

We've done different things each year. One year we went out on Christmas day with people from our church to feed homeless people. We have ornaments with special meaning. I always top our tree with a crown of thorns, and hang a nail from the tree...to remind us why we celebrate. Each year we try new things. New recipes. I love picking out special little gifts for those who are dear to us.

Although we do things that might be considered "traditions," each year looks a little different than the other. We are limited financially, so we do what we can with what we have been given. We refuse to go into debt at Christmas time!

One year we couldn't afford a tree, so I got out our little artificial trees and we decorated them. I was feeling bad about the fact that we didn't have a real tree, and like I needed to convince my family that everything would be "okay"...and everything would be still be "special."

I finally stopped trying to convince everyone and we all tried to get perspective! We didn't have a picture perfect Christmas tree, but we had what we could afford, did the best we could with what we had, and attempted to focus on being grateful...and on the true meaning of Christmas!

My children will probably have families of their own one day. What will I have taught them? Will they come away from my home remembering how mom fell apart because her tree wasn't perfect? Will they remember me as someone who "made do" and made things special using what she had, or a mom who spent money needlessly? Will they remember a mom whose focus was honoring JESUS all year around, or one who just talked about Him during the Christmas season?

I love to buy my children gifts and make Christmas as Christ centered and fun, as possible. I love to read about and hear what others do, and then implement their ideas into our Christmas. But as I get older, and as my kids get older, the thing that is standing out to me the most is that I want my children to remember a home that was peaceful and Christ filled...all year. A mom who loved, respected and honored dad. A mom who loved and served her family. Who sought forgiveness and admitted where she was wrong. Who was committed to God and her calling.

I desire to be a mom

who lived out the most important gift:

THE GOSPEL!

These are the gifts that will stay with my children

long after the decorations come down.

Gifts that won't break, go out of style,

or get worn out.

And will stay with them long after I am gone!

I love the Christmas season. LOVE IT! But I guess the "bigger picture" is what is looming over me right now. I am not saying the other stuff is not important....but that this is just what is being impressed on my heart. I know of families who have a lavish Christmas each year, many gifts, huge trees...but whose homes have no peace, and whose decision making is not based on God and His Word..."Christian" homes. I don't want that!

I am not above that...BUT I DON'T WANT THAT!!!

My prayer is that we would remember the Christ of Christmas all year, every day , every second, in every decision, in every word, in every thought... Oh, come let us adore Him! Oh, come let us adore Him! Oh, come let us adore Him! Christ the Lord!

Keepin' it Real,

Gina

Gina has been married to Brian for 23 years. Brian is a faculty member, and they both serve as deans at a Christian college. She and her family live on the college campus and work with the resident students. She has two children, Brianna (age 21) and Caleb (age 18) who are now both in college. In her spare time Gina writes and seeks to encourage women of all ages, through articles and by living life with them as much as possible! You can find her at her personal blog: "Keepin' it Real,"at "The Internet Cafe," and featured in several issues of "Best of Life" magazine.

Contact Gina through her website: Keepin' it Real

If you'd like to leave a comment, visit Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here

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Today and every Tuesday, I want to invite bloggers to link-up any blog posts that will encourage women to joyfully live out their roles as wives and keepers of their homes I'm looking for posts on marriage, parenting, housekeeping, or recipes.

1. Enter the direct link from your post into the linky tool below!

2. Please link back here with the {TITUS 2}SDAYS code (below) so that other bloggers can join in too!

3. Enjoy each other's fellowship, and have fun!

FAQ:
Can I use an old post, or do I need to use a current one?You can absolutely use an older post if you feel that the post is a great fit for this meme. Have fun!

<a href="http://www.time-warp-wife.blogspot.com"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6wDWtsSlP7eOxgZH8krMwKjgWvFQqwrrgGZcV370WZiuJ-y7bZYiRZ9AOnIEkHVPqMmtIaEcOp9HkMeE3krxlEE-p5GpxR5QOnSRt3ft4VFz-B9deQG3ry_k0fGYoMO62dwBF6V1yz0s/s1600/Titus_2sdays.jpg" /></a>

Leaving Your Parents This Christmas - And a Titus 2sday Link Up!!

Guest Contributor, Sheila Wray Gregoire, To Love Honor and Vacuum

Most of you are still recovering from Thanksgiving, and Christmas is just around the corner. While the turkey may be delicious, though, often these holidays add tremendous stress to our marriages, because extended family members play center stage. And while Grandmas and Grandpas can be so helpful with baby-sitting, in too many families they also can be quite trying—criticizing one's housekeeping or parenting skills, or demanding loyalty.

So let me ask you a question: Have you truly "left" your family?

Remember the biblical injunction:

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. ~ Genesis 2:24

Before we can really form a close relationship with our spouse, we have to leave our parents. But what does that mean?

It doesn't just mean that we leave their house. It means that they are no longer our primary source for emotional support or advice. When we need to make decisions, we don't consider their needs first; we consider our husband's. When we need to decide how to spend our limited time, we aren't primarily concerned with our parents; we worry about our husbands.

Let me tell you about a woman we'll call Sandra. Sandra was very in love with David, and David with her. Sandra’s mother, however, did not approve of the match. Sandra had grown up in a Christian home, and David had not. David was not exactly the ideal Christian husband, but he was the one whom Sandra chose. Yet Sandra’s mom called Sandra everyday, grilling her about how her husband was treating her.

When children came along, Sandra’s mom baby-sat, because she was afraid Sandra was overwhelmed. “He never helps you, honey,” her mom would say. “You need to rest or you’ll burn out.”

And so Sandra got the message, loud and clear: my husband treats me badly. And because her mother was willing to talk about this, she began confiding in her mom whenever she and David had marriage problems.

I was hardly surprised when, eight years into the marriage, Sandra announced she was leaving. “I’m moving back home,” she told me, because home was still where her mother was.

Never, ever, let your home be anywhere other than with your husband.

Yes, God wants us to honour our parents, but we must do so in the context of leaving them. Here’s how you can make that a God-honoring reality this year:

Leave Your Family

Often we aren’t aware how much we rely on our own biological family. When I was first married, I felt my family were the sane and together ones, and his family was completely dysfunctional. It wasn’t very long into our marriage until I almost flipped that assessment. But be aware that we often don’t see the flaws in our own families.

The best test of whether or not you have left is to honestly ask your husband if your parents are too much in your marriage--and then trust what he says. Men know if a mom is interfering too much, but often we don't want to hear it. Believe him.

If you talk to your mom about everyday things on a daily basis, that’s fine. But if your mother is your main source of emotional support and the one you run to first, you may need to re-evaluate that relationship and make sure it’s not getting in the way of your marriage. Sit down and ask your husband honestly, and listen.

Love His Mom

Paul wrote, in Romans 12:18, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

That especially applies to mother-in-laws! Your husband wants you to get along with his mom. You don’t have to be her best friend. You don’t have to be her kindred spirit. But you should be kind and considerate.

Sometimes we don’t get along because we expect too much: she should love me, accept me, and encourage me. Then when she doesn’t, we reject her right back. Put away those expectations, and just love her, even if that love isn’t reciprocated. Smile at her. Listen to her. Phone her every now and then just to say hi.

When you’re in her house, compliment her, help her, and let the things she says that bother you slide right off your back. You can choose not to take them to heart.

Cleave to Your Own Husband

After God spoke about leaving, He spoke about cleaving. We’re supposed to leave our families and cling to our spouses. What does that look like during the holidays?

Talk and dream with your husband about what you want Christmas to be like. If you’re both passionate about being home to wake up on Christmas morning with the kids, you might decide not to drive to Grandma’s the night before. Tell her that you will be available Christmas evening or Boxing Day.

Decide together what Christmas traditions you want, and then have that conversation with your parents. It may be hard to let them know you won’t be joining them Christmas Eve, but if that’s what you both feel is best, it really is okay. Your primary relationship in this life is now with each other. Pray and talk and dream of what that’s going to look like.

Your challenge this holiday season, then, is to leave your mom, love your mother-in-law, and cleave to your husband first. That’s God’s model, and with His help, you can do it!

Blessings,

Sheila

About the Author:

Sheila Wray Gregoire is the author of five marriage and parenting books, including The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, out with Zondervan in January.

She blogs daily about living a godly life in our homes at:
To Love Honor and Vacuum




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And before you go--there's something new to check out...

Candace Cameron Bure has just launched a new online magazine, and I'm a monthly contributor along with some awesome women from around the web! Hope you stop by for a visit, and check out the list of contributors!

Linking up with:

 

Linda's Lunacy - Making a Home

Today and every Tuesday, I want to invite bloggers to link-up any blog posts that will encourage women to joyfully live out their roles as wives and keepers of their homes I'm looking for posts on marriage, parenting, housekeeping, or recipes.

1. Enter the direct link from your post into the linky tool below!

2. Please link back here with the {TITUS 2}SDAYS code (below) so that other bloggers can join in too!

3. Enjoy each other's fellowship, and have fun!

FAQ:
Can I use an old post, or do I need to use a current one?You can absolutely use an older post if you feel that the post is a great fit for this meme. Have fun!

<a href="http://www.time-warp-wife.blogspot.com"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyFVkPRxDXs7GaNNaxIYnodArf7CO5U9_6R11ECTIyBoo9k-X8eX06D_quh-uSInbTrPDUhzbPCKwD6OhK9qPTckQ8hUS9bTWC__AlxPJC27dOsVN0nXvjhAIJL5hbU0eqq2K42H-3TbA/s1600/Titus_2sdays_button.png" /></a>

Linked up with:

Candace Cameron Bure - Standing in the Gospel

Part 3 of 3 on Candace Cameron Bure's mission trip with Compassion:

Last year, Val Bure won the Battle of the Blades and donated $50,000 to keep a Child Survival Program in the Dominican Republic up and running for two years. Recently, he and his family, including his wife Candace Cameron-Bure, had a chance to visit the Child Survival Program in the Dominican Republic. Here are Candace’s reflections on that experience.

We’ve been sponsoring for seven years, and we’ve been huge fans of Compassion. But going on a trip and seeing exactly how the program runs, exactly what the projects do and meeting the children just made the difference for me. We already knew what a great organization Compassion is, and now I am so on board with it. This is the real deal.

My big revelation was on our first day. On the first home visit, we went into this little shack at the base of a garbage dump. It was a woman’s home that she didn’t even own because her home was washed away in a rainstorm. She shared this tiny little shack with three kids and father who was very, very sick. She was scared because he had a bad skin infection and worried that her children would get it. The conditions are just gross, and no one should have to live like that.

As we were standing in her home, listening to her story, asking her questions and praying with her, I couldn’t stop crying. My emotions were flooded from every direction. As we stood there praying for this woman and her children, I thought, this is really what the gospel is all about. This is the gospel right here.

That we’re praying for one another. That we’re helping one another. That we’re united in Jesus Christ. Through him, we’re helping one another meet our needs.

I speak at huge conferences with thousands of women, and I share the gospel message. And it’s not to take away from what I do when I share the gospel with people who come to the conferences, but I tell you, it’s a whole other thing when you’re actually going and living out the gospel.

At the conferences, we’re in cushy hotels having a great time. And we all have hardships, real hardships that we’re experiencing in our lives. But the reality is that many of those problems don’t even compare to the situations that people are living in who don’t have running water, a home, a toilet, who can barely get food and who have no medical attention. That was a big moment for me, and I realized this is what the gospel is all about.

One other thing I really took away was how important our letters are. Having talked to all the kids, they said without those letters and the relationship from the sponsors, they don’t know that they would be where they are or would have gotten through life. The letters brought hope and encouragement, just having people say, “I believe in you, and God says that you can do all things through Christ who gives you strength.” The children would go back and read those letters of hope and be able to carry on and pursue life and their dreams. When you’re surrounded by such poverty and hopelessness on a daily basis, I can only imagine what that one letter truly means to them. It might be the only piece of hope that they have to hang on to.

I really encourage all sponsors to have a relationship with the children they sponsor. My writing of letters has been more on a minimal basis of responding to the letters they write me. But now, I won’t go back to having a passive position in the relationship with my sponsored children.


Visit the Compassion Website: Click Here

Candace's website: CandaceCameronBure.net

Follow Candace on Twitter: @candacecbure

You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

For comments or questions, contact me at:
darlene[at]darleneschacht.net

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Introducing Your Children to Poverty: When Should You Start?

Maks is intrigued as he watches three boys chasing a chicken.

Guest contributor, Amber Van Schooneveld



Remember when Val Bure and Katia Gordeeva won the Battle of the Blades? Val donated his award money to Compassion — and mothers and babies in Moca, Dominican Republic, are now receiving health care, nutritional support and a whole lot of love thanks to his mad ice skills.

Last month, Val and his wife, Candace Cameron-Bure, had a chance to visit the program in the Dominican Republic with their three kids — Natasha, 12, Lev, 11, and Maks, 9.



On our Compassion tours, parents often bring their teenagers but rarely their younger children. Which raises the question: When should we start teaching our children about poverty and exposing them to the needs in the world around them?



For Val and Candace, it wasn’t even a question.



Val grew up in Moscow. Because his father was an athlete, his family had more provisions than many of his neighbors, but Val still knew what it was to go hungry. At times, his mom worked three jobs just to try to feed her kids. More than once, Val, his brother and his mother shared a single apple for a meal. So when Val and Candace visited the Dominican Republic, he felt like he was home; he could relate to so many of the children’s experiences with poverty.



For Val, shielding his kids from poverty simply didn’t make sense — to him this was life, this was reality. And Candace, who had observed poverty firsthand on a previous mission trip, wanted God to use the tour experience to plant a seed in her children’s hearts.



“Because we’re very fortunate with our jobs, our kids haven’t really had much experience with poverty. They haven’t seen how a lot of people live. We wanted them to see what it’s like and take something away, to come back appreciating what they have.”



Some people are hesitant to expose their young children to extreme poverty — unsure if it will be too much for them. Candace says she and Val were very sensitive to their kids, listening to and encouraging them when some things seemed overwhelming.

Natasha sitting with 2 boys.

They were able to feed a group of children in the Compassion project

breakfast; a cup of fruitloops!

Now that they’ve been back for a couple of weeks, they see the difference in their children. Natasha is more willing to help wash the dishes and has a better attitude toward those dreaded chores in general.



Maks, their 9-year-old who had gotten mad at his dad at one point during their visit, saw children who didn’t have a dad and realized how thankful he was that he has a dad who loves him.



Lev saw how happy the kids were with what little they had, and he realized that he needed to not complain but be thankful for what he has.



Candace trusts that God will use this experience to impact her kids.



“I don’t think any child is too young to go see and experience poverty. It broadens your point of view, and I don’t think there’s a difference between a 9-year-old and a 29-year-old.

“My 9-year-old won’t forget that experience. It has planted a seed in my kids’ hearts to help the needy, to help the poor, and to do whatever it is that God has called them to.”



Not all of us have a chance to go on a trip to the developing world with our children. But there are many ways to begin teaching our kids about poverty and about God’s heart for those in need. You can talk to your kids about the child you sponsor and pray together for him or her. You can have your kids write letters to your sponsored child and ask questions about their daily lives.



Or check out our other resources for kids at our Kids Corner.



What about you? What have you done to teach your kids about the needs around the world? What changes have you noticed in your children as a result?

Candace and Val after a home visit. It was so hard to see the living conditions.

Visit the Compassion Website: Click Here

Candace's website: CandaceCameronBure.net

Follow Candace on Twitter: @candacecbure

More articles from Amber: Amber Van Schooneveld

You are loved by an almighty God,



Darlene



For comments or questions, contact me at:

darlene[at]darleneschacht.net



Find Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here



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In participation with:

Guest Blogger ~ Candace Cameron Bure and a Titus 2sday Link up!

Candace, Val and their kids, Maks (on their left), Lev, and Natasha

I'm thrilled to have actress/author Candace Cameron Bure as my special guest today sharing her thoughts on their recent trip to the Dominican Republic with Compassion.

We first heard about Compassion when our pastor spoke about this incredible organization one Sunday morning during the service. After hearing the testimonies, our hearts were moved to sponsor three children (not related) in Bangladesh that day. We chose kids that had similar ages of our own, hoping Natasha, Lev and Maks would one day develop a pen-pal relationship with them. To be honest, after 7 years of sponsorship, the letter writing has mostly been done by me, except for the few times I made the kids write or draw a picture to include in the envelope. I admit that my involvement has been minimal, only writing back to their quarterly letters with updated family photos or postcards and gifting additional monetary birthday and Christmas presents each year.



After our recent trip to the Dominican Republic with Compassion, that minimal involvement is long gone. I can’t possibly go back to the relationship the same way, not with what I’ve seen and heard for myself. I’ll never be the same. I’ve been renewed and encouraged in only a short time to now understand how important not only sharing my money is, but sharing my heart. We met Carolina and William, students who graduated through the sponsorship program and are now young adults, that shared just how influential the correspondence with their sponsors really was. They both said that if it weren’t for their sponsors writing encouragement, sharing Bible verses and believing in them, telling them that they CAN be anything they desire, and that God will use them abundantly, they may not have persevered. Carolina is now studying at University to become a pediatric surgeon and William is in his second year of medical school and will be attending further studies in Atlanta, GA to get his PHD. A-MAZING. And I saw first hand just where they started. Utter poverty.



Sometimes pictures speak more than a thousand words and I will let most of my photos and short videos do just that. But there are a few stories I must share with you, because I want you to share them too. I want their stories to be heard. I want you to join me in praying for these women and children. I want you to BE the gospel as we focus our attention on the needs of the poor. It can seem hopeless. My own heart saw their despair and yet with God, there is hope.



I will be blogging over the next several weeks, sharing these powerful stories because lives will be changed. Not only theirs, but yours and mine. Its a wonder to me how God can stretch and pull the heart, to grow a deep desire to serve and give and yet feel fulfilled more than any gift received.

Maybe I’m saying that because I have much. I have a home, I have cute clothes, I have food readily available and money to purchase just about anything I need. Target is only a short drive away. I’m thankful for that and know that God placed me purposefully into my family and position and I can’t feel guilty about that. But what I must recognize is my duty as a Christian to give a voice to those who aren’t heard and to help those in need. That is a privilege.

Candace with Carolina, a girl who graduated through

the Compassion sponsorship program

Where else to find us:

Visit Candace at her website: www.candacecameronbure.net

Find Candace on Twitter: @candacecbure

And on Facebook: Candace Cameron Bure

Find Time-Warp Wife on facebook: Click here



If you would like to have Time-Warp Wife delivered to your inbox daily, simply click here: Subscribe to Time-Warp Wife

Today and every Tuesday, I want to invite bloggers to link-up any blog posts that will encourage women to joyfully live out their roles as wives and keepers of their homes I'm looking for posts on marriage, parenting, housekeeping, or recipes.

1. Enter the direct link from your post into the linky tool below!

2. Please link back here with the {TITUS 2}SDAYS code (below) so that other bloggers can join in too!

3. Enjoy each other's fellowship, and have fun!

<a href="http://www.time-warp-wife.blogspot.com"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyFVkPRxDXs7GaNNaxIYnodArf7CO5U9_6R11ECTIyBoo9k-X8eX06D_quh-uSInbTrPDUhzbPCKwD6OhK9qPTckQ8hUS9bTWC__AlxPJC27dOsVN0nXvjhAIJL5hbU0eqq2K42H-3TbA/s1600/Titus_2sdays_button.png" /></a>

Is Proverbs 31 Attainable? and a Titus 2sday Linkup!

Guest Contributor Jessalyn from from Desiring Virtue

We’ve all thought it as we respectfully highlight and underline our way through Proverbs 31: “Who is this woman, and why does she have to be so perfect?” I’m sure you would agree that she sets a pretty high standard for the rest of us imperfect wives! Often I find myself rebuked and discouraged after reading through this foundational piece of instruction for my calling as a God fearing wife.

But let me ask you a question: Isn’t this the case with our Christian lives in general? Aren’t we called to the highest standards as children of the Lord? Displaying the character of Christ is not exactly an easy thing to do; in fact it is impossible in this fleshly body. This truth, however, does not change the fact that we are called to live out Christ’s holiness in our everyday life!

I was first encouraged to relate these two callings by a very wise man leading a marriage class at our church. “Wives,” he said, “when you feel like you will never be the Proverbs 31 Woman, remember that you are also called to walk as Jesus walked, which is a far more difficult task.” Jesus is the incarnation of Wisdom in every area of life, the Proverbs 31 woman is simply an example of a wise homemaker.

This virtuous woman is a specific picture of applied wisdom. She is the ultimate homemaker and represents the wisdom of God lived out in the daily and mundane tasks we often find ourselves overcome by as homemakers. She is purposefully described as uncommon and rare. The writer acknowledges that she is not your everyday woman, she is the ultimate woman! It is no wonder that we find it so difficult to find ourselves in her, weak and sinful as we are.

Yet, as I alluded to earlier, the standard that we are called to in this text does not diverge from the rest of Scripture. It is not in addition to the commands we already have, rather it is an application of the way of wisdom in our specific calling as wives and homemakers.

For instance, take verse 15 into consideration:

“She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.”

Now, we may not all be able to relate to this (apparently) wealthy woman’s management of her maidens, but we can all relate to the inherent benefits of rising early to serve our families. The concept of being disciplined in the area of sleep, however, is not relegated to this passage alone. Throughout the Bible we are given instruction to not overindulge in this area of our lives. Passages like Proverbs 20:13 give stern warnings about the consequences of slothfulness and encouragement to seek the rewards of a disciplined sleep life:

“Love not sleep, lest you come to poverty; open your eyes, and you will have plenty of bread.”

This type of discipline is encouraged throughout the Word of God, but in the instance of Proverbs 31 it is specifically applied to the life of a wife and homemaker. How wonderful to have this picture of practical wisdom to look to as we aspire to be homemakers who glorify the Lord!

The question arises, “Why does this woman bring glory to the Lord?”. How does my effort to be the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 bring glory to my God? The virtuous woman brings glory to her Savior not because of her works, but because of her faith in the One who can make it all a reality. In a very real sense, the realization that we are unable to attain this woman’s perfection, is the only way we will ever be able to resemble her!

The wisdom that the virtuous woman displays in her homemaking is just as impossible as every other example of wisdom found throughout the Word of God. What hope does any woman have of reaching these goals? The only hope any of us have is in God himself. When we are tempted to despair in our calling to be wise homemakers, we must remember these precious truths:


“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.
~ Proverbs 9:10 ESV

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God,
who gives generously to all without reproach,
and it will be given him.
~ James 1:5 ESV



God calls us to impossible standards, but he also provides us with his own power to attain those standards. The Gospel of Jesus Christ didn't just have the power to save our souls from an eternity of torment, but has the power to daily infuse our lives with Christ's holiness. What is left for us to do, but admit our own inability and rely on the incredible reserves we have in Christ?

It is for this very reason that I titled my blog “Desiring Virtue”. I know that I am not the Virtuous Woman in Proverbs 31, but I desire to be! I know that I can confidently desire to be virtuous because my God delights in bringing his children to sanctification. It is his desire for each of his daughters to grow in wisdom, daily growing closer to the image of Christ, and therefore closer to the image of the Proverbs 31 woman.

“And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him, if indeed you continue in the faith, stable and steadfast, not shifting from the hope of the gospel that you heard, which has been proclaimed in all creation under heaven.” (Colossians 1:21-23 ESV)

By His Grace, Jessalyn

www.DesiringVirtue.com

About the Author:

When Jessalyn isn't scraping crushed goldfish out of the carpet or changing her spit-up, soiled blouse for the unteenth time, she might be seen blogging at DesiringVirtue.com or snuggled up on her bed, coffee in hand, engrossed in a volume of Spurgeon's Sermons.

Her love for the God who saved her soul from the pit compels her to live out her callings as wife, mother, and homemaker through the grace of God in a way that brings glory to his name.


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Today and every Tuesday, I want to invite bloggers to link-up any blog posts that will encourage women to joyfully live out their roles as wives and keepers of their homes I'm looking for posts on marriage, parenting, housekeeping, or recipes.

All you have to do is enter the direct link from your post into the linky tool below!

I'd also like to ask you to link back here with the {TITUS 2}SDAYS code (below) so that other bloggers can join in too!

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In participation with:

The Ministry of Being a Motherand a Titus 2sday Link Up!

Being a stay at home mom will not look the same for each woman. Our life circumstances are all different. Some of us home school, while others have children in school. Some of our husbands work from home, while others leave for the day. Some of us have babies or toddlers, while some have older children. It does change with each season of life.

My mom was a stay-at-home-mom. While we were in school, she was always involved in some kind of ladies Bible study and/or teaching one. She also made and decorated cakes to earn extra money. I don't think I ever remember there being a time that I would come home from school and she wasn't there. If we were home, so was she. My dad liked to have dinner at a particular time each night. It was always ready. Our home was always in order. I don't think I remember her ever being so committed to anything outside our home that she wasn't available to be a "keeper at home."

I had dreams of being married and living the kind of life my Mom had, going to Bible studies while my kids were in school, being there for them when they got home... But my life has been different in many ways even though I am a "stay at home mom."

It is different because God decided that our children would be home schooled. That meant I was home most of the time. If my children were going to learn what they needed to learn, and accomplish what they need to get done, I needed to be at home. As they grew up they were involved in sports and some other activities, but the bulk of our time was spent at home because the job of home schooling--and doing it effectively--was huge.

On top of that, I still had a home to keep in order and meals to make. I don't mean a PERFECT HOME or PERFECT MEALS. I mean and ORDERLY HOME and MEETING THE NEEDS OF MY FAMILY. I found that the at home "mothering" season of life for me meant that some of what I might have wanted to do had to be set aside for awhile--and most of the time I really didn't mind that. It has been for a season, not forever.

A couple of years ago I decided I wanted to take a seminary class. Because my husband works for the school I would not have to pay for the class. "What a great opportunity," I thought. So I registered. Each week I would make my way up to the seminary for my class. I loved the learning and the interaction I had in the classroom setting. I enjoyed the reading. When I got home I had papers to write and projects to do. I actually did well in the class and that was a good feeling as well. But there was one problem. I wasn't available to my family as I should have been.

They did not complain, but as the semester moved along I started feeling torn. On the days I had class--I had to leave my children. When I got home--I had to throw dinner together and then spend time doing home work. I kept hearing myself say, "I can't help you right now. I need to finish this homework," and I knew that my "seminary career" was over... at least for awhile.

Was there anything wrong with taking a seminary class? No. It was just not the right timing for me. I needed to be available to my family.

All that said, I must also share that even though there is much sacrifice involved in the "ministry of mothering," God does provide those "extra" things as well. Times of fellowship with other women, maybe a lunch date here and there, and an encouraging phone call. I enjoy my time of reading books for my own learning and enjoyment, and normally have two books going at one time! I have found that the more I am focused on my God ordained ministry of keeping my home, loving my husband, and loving my children, the more God has blessed and provided for me in ways I never imagined. It is awesome! It is a joy!

I wouldn't have it any other way.

So, how do we decide how much to be involved in outside the home?

• We pray!
  We ask God to give us a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him (Eph 1:17).
• We pray!
  We ask God to open our eyes to the calling and privilege it is to be pouring our lives into these people He has placed in our care!
• We pray!
  We ask God for wisdom. We must be willing to sacrifice some of our interests for a season if we must, and embrace the high calling of the ministry of being a mother.
• We pray!
  We take the time to evaluate our life circumstances by asking these questions: Is my home in order (I didn't say "perfect", or "spotless"-but is it orderly?) Do I have the time to plan and prepare nutritious meals for my family? When is my husband home? Am I there when he needs/wants me to be there, or am I gone most evenings? Am I able to be consistent with disciplining and training the children, or am I going so much that I don't have the opportunity to address things most of the time? Do I find more fulfillment outside my home, than I do being in it? IF SO, do I understand what God has called me to, and what a privilege it is? Do I spend time with other women that encourage me in my ministry at home, or do they encourage me to be out of my home and to be discontent with my life there. Do I regularly watch those TV shows that portray husbands as "idiots" and children as a burden?
• We pray!
  Finally, after answering all of these questions...what time do I have left for outside activities with the ages of my children, during the season I am in, and in my life circumstances? Do I see the opportunities to minister that come to my door? Are there opportunities to minister in some way as a family, or with my children, so that I am not taking much time away from them?

What are we teaching the next generation? Are we teaching them, by our attitudes and the way we are living, those things that are most important? (Titus 2:3-5) Are we teaching them that to love our husbands, love our children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, and to be subject to our husbands are our most important ministry?

AND, that when we do not see this as our privilege and our calling--and choose to live it out--"THE WORD OF GOD IS DISHONORED!"

I believe if we do not see this--if we do not walk in obedience--the consequences will not only be great in our own lives, but we will also miss an opportunity to train our children to be a light in this world.


Our guest today is Gina, a Christ follower, who desires to glorify God in all that she does. Gina became a self proclaimed "old lady" after reading and studying what the Bible says, in Titus 2, about the role of "older women." She prays that she will continue to grow into that role, and most importantly, to LIVE OUT THE GOSPEL and live life WITH you!

You can find her blogging at "Keepin' it Real"where she is continually growing and challenging readers to also grow in their faith.

For questions or comments, contact Gina through her website: click here

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Today and every Tuesday, I want to invite bloggers to link-up any blog posts that will encourage women to joyfully live out their roles as wives and keepers of their homes I'm looking for posts on marriage, parenting, housekeeping, or recipes.

All you have to do is enter the direct link from your post into the linky tool below!

I'd also like to ask you to link back here with the {TITUS 2}SDAYS code (below) so that other bloggers can join in too!

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When He's Not the Spiritual Leader{And a Titus 2sday Link Up}!

Guest contributor, Sonya from Becoming a Strong Woman of God

Many women are struggling with husbands who are not stepping up and taking on the role of a spiritual leader as we see outlined in the Bible. In today's world we need them more then ever to step up to this great call from God.

BUT... The reality is that some of our husbands need lifting and encouraging in this area and this is where WE come in. Our encouragement will give them the confidence they need to step up.

Encouraging our husband's right where they are and praying for them is our job. Stirring their heart, is God's.

I know most of us come into the marriage with great expectations about how the marriage will "look" and when it does not look that way we start to carry resentment around. Then before you know it resentment becomes your best friend and the husband gets pushed away left to feel judged and not good enough.

This is not what we want for our husbands. We want them to lead our homes, our children, and us as God commands them to do, however it will happen in God's timing! That is something we all have to learn to live with. God knows best, not us.

We have to trust God and His promises to bring our husbands to lead the home. In the mean time we can lift him up and encourage him to be the best he can be right where he is.

Let's look at some ways we can help:

1. Suggest things you would like to see in the home: praying, devotions and such.
2. Encourage him to participate with you or suggest that he lead. If he is not ready then be loving about it and pray that God will move in his heart. He will come around again at God's perfect timing!
3. Avoid showing frustration if he is not stepping up. Remember God is bigger then us and he will move him to lead when in His time.
4. Put away any resentment and with patience pray for him daily.
5. Cheerfully help him right where he is without grumbling or complaint.
6. Seek God when he is falling short.
7. Allow God to be the one to stir his heart.

For the husband is the head of the wife,
as Christ also is the head of the church,
He Himself being the Savior of the body.
~ Ephesians 5:23


This is God's promise, trusting in God to bring our husbands to this spiritual role as a leader and loving him right where he is, in his walk with God, will draw him to where God has called him to be--the leader.


Then the LORD God said,
"It is not good for the man to be alone;
I will make him a helper suitable for him."
~ Genesis 2:18


We are his "help mate" and there are times he needs our help to step up until he is ready. Take on this role with joy knowing that God is in control and His promise will come to be at his perfect timing.

Thank you to Sonya for being our guest host today. Please visit Sonya at her blog, Becoming a Strong Woman of God:



You are loved by an almighty God,

Darlene

For comments or questions, contact me at:
darlene[at]darleneschacht.net

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Looking for a speaker for your conference or women's group? Click here

In participation with:

Today and every Tuesday, I want to invite bloggers to link-up any blog posts that will encourage women to joyfully live out their roles as wives and keepers of their homes I'm looking for posts on marriage, parenting, housekeeping, or recipes.

All you have to do is enter the direct link from your post into the linky tool below!

I'd also like to ask you to link back here with the {TITUS 2}SDAYS code (below) so that other bloggers can join in too!

<a href="http://www.time-warp-wife.blogspot.com"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyFVkPRxDXs7GaNNaxIYnodArf7CO5U9_6R11ECTIyBoo9k-X8eX06D_quh-uSInbTrPDUhzbPCKwD6OhK9qPTckQ8hUS9bTWC__AlxPJC27dOsVN0nXvjhAIJL5hbU0eqq2K42H-3TbA/s1600/Titus_2sdays_button.png" /></a>

Guest Blogger ~ "Building Togetherness"

Jordan and I have an exceedingly strong marriage. We are nearly always in tune and rarely, if ever, bicker. While I’d like to say that we simply have excellent chemistry, that isn’t necessarily the case. All marriages take work.

But we have discovered a principle that allows us to shift our perspective from merely cultivating our emotional connection toward something else entirely: we build things together.


We build,
which is to say that
we seek to undertake tasks
with the express purpose
of achieving a tangible result.


We work together. We set goals and reach for them. Large or small, they engage our individual faculties, outside of daily tasks, in ways that compliment each other. We move our relationship from the space of raising a family together to the most basic level of team building.

Because we’re a team.

And the best teams continually work toward strengthening not only their friendship and mutual affection, but also their working relationship.

How do you and your husband work on building your “team?”

Introducing our guest blogger today,
Jessica Heights...

Jessica is a passionately Christian, blissfully wed, full-time homemaker and mother of four. She is the author and founder of Muthering Heights and Other Senseless Sensibility, in which she grows alongside and encourages women as they blossom as mothers, wives, seekers of truth and conduits of grace.

She is also a co-host of Relevant and a contributing writer to Raising Homemakers, and Christmas Change.

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