Do you really think that you can control your partner's cheating and infidelity? The answer is no. I found that out the hard way, that's for sure. When I first started seeing signs of something just not quite right, I let things go at first, because I always wanted to be sure before accusing him of anything. I have always been a very trusting person. Once I started seeing more evidence of his cheating, I wanted so bad to control it. I thought that if I could get a handle on things that he might have seen the error of his ways and decide he wasn't going to do that to me. That didn't happen. He went and did what he wanted to do.
Let me tell you what I did. I found out all the numbers that I thought the other woman was calling from and I signed them to a silent ringer on his cell phone so that way, he would never hear her calls coming in. I also found more things for him to do at home, such as family times and thought perhaps he would want to be home more. I got her letters out of the post office box before he got to them and kept them from him. Nothing worked. I don't know what I was thinking at the time, but I wanted so desperately to keep him to myself. I wanted my husband to want only me. I am here today, to tell you that NOTHING you do will keep them from cheating. They are the only one that can decide to be true to you. They are the only ones that can stop the cheating.
I could not control what he did, because even when he didn't get her calls, I found out that he still went to see her. As hard as it was, I learned the hard way that you cannot control another person: only yourself.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
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- A Family Torn Apart
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